{"id":834,"date":"2012-03-24T23:50:51","date_gmt":"2012-03-24T23:50:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=834"},"modified":"2012-03-25T00:06:54","modified_gmt":"2012-03-25T00:06:54","slug":"qa-is-it-possible-to-be-too-picky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-is-it-possible-to-be-too-picky.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: Is it possible to be TOO picky?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Are YOU too picky?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cMy friend is VERY picky in choosing a man to date. She wants a relationship, but her standards are too high. She says it’s good because she knows what she wants and deserves the best. I say it’s a bad thing because no one is living up to her standards.\u201d<\/p>\n

This was one of the questions we discussed in depth in a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, along with:
\nNEW BEGINNINGS! Setting goals, being too picky, dealing with racism, \u2018real\u2019 vampires, werewolves, witches, and magic; the Dalai Lama vs the Pope and much, much, more!
\nClick here to listen<\/a>!<\/p>\n

One of the things we talked about in the broadcast, was the fact that there is nothing wrong with having a high standard, as long as you realize the people you are pursuing will probably have equally high standards<\/em>. So the question is, is your (friend\u2019s) \u2018high standard\u2019 a really a result of \u2018knowing what she wants\u2019, or just walls she has built out of insecurity<\/a>?<\/p>\n

We have also talked before about how to find the perfect man or woman<\/a>; and a big part of that was being willing to change and adapt yourself as necessary to be just as attractive to them as they are to you. When a person is totally unwilling to change at all (as most people who are \u2018too picky\u2019 tend to be), then that is a GIANT red flag that they are operating out of insecurity and ego rather than confidence.<\/p>\n

Blaming other people and\/or the world for our personal short comings is a victim mentality. All power in this world comes from taking responsibility; response-ability for ourselves, our lives, and our relationships.<\/p>\n

Ask your friend how well this attitude has worked out for her up until now?
\nHas she been generally successful with finding the type of guys she likes, but the relationships don\u2019t work out for whatever reason; or is there always \u2018wrong\u2019 with every guy who comes around?<\/p>\n

Point out to her that there is only one thing that all her dissatisfying relationships have in common, and that is HER!<\/p>\n

If she is REALLY serious about finding that special someone, this will help<\/a>. If, however, she\u2019s afraid deep down inside that she\u2019s not good enough<\/a>, and this pickiness is a defense mechanism she\u2019s (maybe unconsciously) using to keep people at arm\u2019s length, then that\u2019s an unfortunate recipe for spending the rest of her life alone.<\/p>\n

And that is a question that only she can answer.<\/p>\n

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a> — Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a> — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a> — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cMy friend is VERY picky in choosing a man to date. She wants a relationship, but her standards are too high. She says it’s good because she knows what she wants and deserves the best. I say it’s a bad thing because no one is living up to her standards.\u201d This…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,55,39,116,35,29,81,38,31,46,88,28,112,43,45,30],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,115,54,11,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,5,42,50,7,113,32],"class_list":["post-834","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-friends","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law","tag-who-are-you"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: Is it possible to be TOO picky? - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-is-it-possible-to-be-too-picky.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: Is it possible to be TOO picky? - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cMy friend is VERY picky in choosing a man to date. 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