{"id":812,"date":"2012-03-11T02:06:47","date_gmt":"2012-03-11T02:06:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=812"},"modified":"2012-03-11T02:06:47","modified_gmt":"2012-03-11T02:06:47","slug":"qa-i-caught-him-cheating-and-we-broke-up-but-has-he-moved-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-i-caught-him-cheating-and-we-broke-up-but-has-he-moved-on.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: I caught him cheating and we broke up; but has he moved on?"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Yes, it really is that simple<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve broke up with my boyfriend for kissing and texting another girl and recently i wanted him back but he said he didn\u2019t want a<\/p>\n

relationship. I\u2019ve recently found out that he is meeting up with girls and texting them. Does this mean he\u2019s moved on?\u201d<\/p>\n

First, let\u2019s break this one down into pieces:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You caught him cheating.<\/li>\n
  2. You broke up with him (the right move).<\/li>\n
  3. You wanted him back, for some reason (?).<\/li>\n
  4. He doesn\u2019t want a relationship with YOU now.<\/li>\n
  5. You have been checking up on him (\u201cI recently found out\u201d).<\/li>\n
  6. He is now texting and hooking up with multiple girls.<\/li>\n
  7. And now, you are wondering if he has moved on.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Yes.<\/p>\n

    Yes he has moved on.<\/p>\n

    A better question is: why do you care anymore?<\/p>\n

    Since according to what you wrote, he moved on way before you broke up with him!
    \nConsider: you only broke up because you caught *him* cheating, which may have been the first time, or the 100th<\/sup> time; there is no way to know for sure.\u00a0 Since you broke up, he has continued doing the exact same thing<\/em>, and he seems unwilling to stop.<\/p>\n

    And he TOLD you he doesn\u2019t want to stop, aka he doesn\u2019t want a relationship.<\/p>\n

    So I ask again, why would you be upset by a guy who cheated on you, and by extension you cannot trust who has told<\/em> you directly he doesn\u2019t want to be together has moved on?<\/p>\n

    What is it that has made you think so little of yourself that one, you deserve to be treated like this by someone; two, you can\u2019t find any better, and three, you\u2019d actually CHASE such a person?<\/p>\n

    Not only has he moved on, but in the process he has done you a HUGE favor, by not jerking you around for years, and giving you the opportunity to put some time in working on yourself.<\/p>\n

    Instead of trying to figure out why he doesn\u2019t love you, use this time to start truly loving yourself<\/a>, since how much you love yourself is not only the limit of how much you can love someone else, but how much you can let them love you in return.<\/p>\n

    And as you begin the process of truly loving yourself, you\u2019ll recognize you don\u2019t deserve to be treated like this by anyone\u2026because until you realize that you\u2019ll almost certainly find away to keep attracting cheaters<\/a>.\u00a0 \u00a0You\u2019ll also need to learn how to forgive yourself<\/a> \u00a0for everything that has happened up until now, and the people who have hurt you up until now\u2026him included.\u00a0\u00a0 Only then will you have created the space for the type of open, loving relationship you truly deserve.<\/p>\n

    Because \u00a0I\u2019m here to tell you: you deserve much, much, better than this.<\/p>\n

    What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

    You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

    And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

    B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

    Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

    Find out more about me:
    \n    http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Ask me anything:
    \n    http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Pages I support:
    \n    Jesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

    Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

    Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    (Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve broke up with my boyfriend for kissing and texting another girl and recently i wanted him back but he said he didn\u2019t want a relationship. I\u2019ve recently found out that he is meeting up with girls and texting them. Does this mean he\u2019s moved on?\u201d First, let\u2019s break this…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,114,29,81,38,92,31,46,28,112,43,45,30,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,11,82,14,23,26,25,51,24,42,56],"class_list":["post-812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-grief","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: I caught him cheating and we broke up; but has he moved on? - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-i-caught-him-cheating-and-we-broke-up-but-has-he-moved-on.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: I caught him cheating and we broke up; but has he moved on? - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve broke up with my boyfriend for kissing and texting another girl and recently i wanted him back but he said he didn\u2019t want a relationship. 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Does this mean he\u2019s moved on?\u201d First, let\u2019s break this…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-i-caught-him-cheating-and-we-broke-up-but-has-he-moved-on.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2012-03-11T02:06:47+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/03\/forgivephrasescompromisetruthadvisevisualtext-74523dff67b7064a1f652441df67304c_h-300x300.jpg"}],"author":"B. 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