{"id":807,"date":"2012-03-11T00:45:13","date_gmt":"2012-03-11T00:45:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=807"},"modified":"2012-03-11T00:45:13","modified_gmt":"2012-03-11T00:45:13","slug":"qa-who-should-make-the-first-move-in-a-long-distance-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-who-should-make-the-first-move-in-a-long-distance-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: Who should make the first move in a long distance relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Making the first move is important, but so is making the *right* move<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Unedited question\u00a0submitted via Formspring\u00a0<\/a>
\n\u201cIf your in the long distance relationship should i make the first move and go to were he is or should he come here first to see me we was engaged once about 10yrs ago what do u think i should do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The simple answer is, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move.
\nIf one of you has the time and resources available to make the trip, do it.
\nAs always, if you can’t communicate, you don’t have a relationship; and that’s even more true in a long distance relationship, since all you can do is talk.<\/p>\n

There appears to be a deeper problem here, though.
\nAnd that is: you two don’t communicate very well.
\nSince you were engaged once ten years ago, and for whatever reason didn’t get married. That means whatever situation you faced became insurmountable, which usually only comes with a lack of communication, especially when big problems are still small.<\/p>\n

Besides that, you’ve clearly known this man for over TEN YEARS and you are worried about asking to get together?
\nWhat happens when it comes time to talk about moving?
\nOr getting married for real this time? Or having kids?
\nIf it’s still so difficult to make even simple plans, or even *talk * about making simple plans, it would seem like you all don’t have a very firm foundation at all to build a relationship on.<\/p>\n

Start focusing on how to communicate, and more importantly\u00a0how to listen to one another<\/a>
\nOnce you have better and more open communication, then things like figuring out who’s coming to visit when will get much easier to sort out.<\/p>\n

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Unedited question\u00a0submitted via Formspring\u00a0 \u201cIf your in the long distance relationship should i make the first move and go to were he is or should he come here first to see me we was engaged once about 10yrs ago what do u think i should do?\u201d The simple answer is, it doesn’t matter who makes…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,29,38,31,46,28,41,43,48],"tags":[3,34,13,12,115,54,11,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42],"class_list":["post-807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-spirituality","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: Who should make the first move in a long distance relationship? - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-who-should-make-the-first-move-in-a-long-distance-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: Who should make the first move in a long distance relationship? - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Unedited question\u00a0submitted via Formspring\u00a0 \u201cIf your in the long distance relationship should i make the first move and go to were he is or should he come here first to see me we was engaged once about 10yrs ago what do u think i should do?\u201d The simple answer is, it doesn’t matter who makes…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/03\/qa-who-should-make-the-first-move-in-a-long-distance-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-03-11T00:45:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/03\/8a4368a40de7124ea319a62ecfdb5f08.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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