{"id":707,"date":"2012-02-04T23:48:54","date_gmt":"2012-02-04T23:48:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=707"},"modified":"2012-02-04T23:48:54","modified_gmt":"2012-02-04T23:48:54","slug":"qa-i-love-her-but-she-says-i%e2%80%99m-like-her-brother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/02\/qa-i-love-her-but-she-says-i%e2%80%99m-like-her-brother.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: I love her, but she says I\u2019m like her brother"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
The worst thing she can say<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(Unedited) question\u00a0submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cI met this grl online about a year ago we were cool and metin person 2 times when she was in my areaWe gotcloserabout two months ago and pretty much talked all day evry day since i told her i really like her and she said she sees me as a bro wat shld i do\u201d<\/p>\n

Part II:<\/p>\n

\u201ci told the girl that i love this week how i felt & she says im like her bro. i havent spoken to her since its gonna take a while for me to get over he shld i still talk to her or just let her and it go?\u201d<\/p>\n

This question was answered live on the air during a recent episode of my radio show Rise UP with B. Dave Walters whichyou can find here<\/a>\u00a0but it\u2019s worth digging into it a little deeper.<\/p>\n

Los Angeles might seem like home to the strangest relationships on Earth, but situations like this are becoming more and more common. \u00a0The Internet is bringing us together like never before, and more and more people are getting into sticky situations like this one.<\/p>\n

First, let\u2019s break this down:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You met online about a year ago<\/li>\n
  2. You\u2019ve seen her in person twice<\/li>\n
  3. You talk(ed) to her every day<\/li>\n
  4. You told her you loved her (!) and she said you were like a brother<\/li>\n
  5. You stopped talking after that.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    We\u2019ve talked before about how guys can end up in the \u2018friend zone\u2019\u2026a trap that it is nearly impossible to escape!\u00a0 Girls have a unique ability to think of a guy \u201clike a brother\u201d that guys just don\u2019t have.\u00a0 \u00a0This is a major difference between\u00a0how men think<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0how women think<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    As far as your specific situation, I have some bad news: it\u2019s nearly impossible to get out of the friend zone!<\/p>\n

    First and foremost, the *worst* thing you can do is suddenly withdrawing, or doing anything to make her feel guilty.\u00a0 If you used to talk every day, and suddenly drop to little or no conversations, or oddly tense conversations things are going to get really bad really fast.\u00a0 And do not, under any circumstances, ask her WHY she doesn\u2019t feel the same.\u00a0 There is nothing she can say that you are going to want to hear; and it will only make things more awkward.<\/p>\n

    Now, as for how you can POSSIBLY change it, or at least keep from ending up here with the next girl: the first thing to do is pull back some.<\/p>\n

    Now, didn\u2019t I just say don\u2019t do that?\u00a0 No, you don\u2019t want to SUDDENLY pull back.\u00a0 But if you used to talk every day, talk every other day.\u00a0 If you used to talk for an hour, talk for 15 minutes.<\/p>\n

    Make her miss your presence and seek it out, rather than follow her around like a puppy.<\/p>\n

    This is very important<\/em>:\u00a0move on<\/span>.<\/p>\n

    Look for other girls, and let her know when you are interested in them.\u00a0 The idea is the same; make her miss your attention and affection.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t mean lie, or use other girls to try and make her jealous: *actually* look for other girls.\u00a0 Who knows, you might find one who feels the same way.<\/p>\n

    Again: no guilt, no pressure, no asking why.<\/p>\n

    Keep being the friend she likes, just keep her at arm\u2019s length; once she sees you slipping away she may want to hold on tighter.\u00a0 And if she doesn\u2019t, you\u2019ll have a new girl and an old good friend, and that\u2019s not so bad.<\/p>\n

    What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

    You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

    And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

    B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

    Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

    Find out more about me:
    \n    http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Ask me anything:
    \n    http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Pages I support:
    \n    Jesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

    Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

    Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    (Unedited) question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI met this grl online about a year ago we were cool and metin person 2 times when she was in my areaWe gotcloserabout two months ago and pretty much talked all day evry day since i told her i really like her and she said she sees me as a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,81,38,40,31,28,112,41,43,45,30,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,11,36,6,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,5,42,18,56],"class_list":["post-707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-law-of-attraction-2","category-love-2","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: I love her, but she says I\u2019m like her brother - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/02\/qa-i-love-her-but-she-says-i\u2019m-like-her-brother.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: I love her, but she says I\u2019m like her brother - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Unedited) question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI met this grl online about a year ago we were cool and metin person 2 times when she was in my areaWe gotcloserabout two months ago and pretty much talked all day evry day since i told her i really like her and she said she sees me as a…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/02\/qa-i-love-her-but-she-says-i\u2019m-like-her-brother.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-02-04T23:48:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/02\/05ae03fed943252ce66630f507b86c8f-300x251.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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