{"id":667,"date":"2012-01-27T05:13:08","date_gmt":"2012-01-27T05:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=667"},"modified":"2012-01-27T05:14:45","modified_gmt":"2012-01-27T05:14:45","slug":"qa-i-promised-my-late-husband-wed-be-together-in-heaven-but-im-lonely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-i-promised-my-late-husband-wed-be-together-in-heaven-but-im-lonely.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: I promised my late husband we’d be together in Heaven, but I’m lonely…."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
We'll all be together again<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cMy husband died 1 year ago. I’m lonely, but I’m afraid of falling in love again because I promised him on his deathbed that we would be together again in heaven. If I fall in love with another man, I would break that promise that I want to keep. \u00a0Help.\u201d<\/p>\n

On a recent (and very intense) episode of my radio show,\u00a0Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>,\u00a0I answered this question along with questions about how to find love, how to get over losing a loved one, how feelings affect the Law of Attraction, how to deal with a self-destructive loved one, and many more; but there is a lot more to say about this one.<\/p>\n

First, let me say something very important:<\/p>\n

No one KNOWS where we come from, or what happens when we die<\/a>; believing something passionately is not the same as empirical, factual knowledge.<\/p>\n

That being said, all I can offer you is what I believe based on my own personal prayer, meditation, introspection and experience.<\/p>\n

First and foremost, while I believe we will see all our loved ones again in the next life, our connection with them will be *totally* different.\u00a0 \u00a0In Heaven we won\u2019t be men or women, young or old, black or white anymore; we\u2019ll be our REAL \u2018soul selves\u2019; not these fleshy vehicles we walk around in.\u00a0 What that means is you\u2019ll be aware that your mom was your mom, or a friend was a friend, but you\u2019ll relate to each other as eternal souls, not temporary people.<\/p>\n

I noticed that in the question you didn\u2019t say he asked you to stay single, but that you promised him that you\u2019d be together.\u00a0 \u00a0Wherever you husband is now, he knows this; and while I believe he can see you, and still loves you, how he sees you is totally different.\u00a0 And, no matter what, I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll take any pleasure in seeing you alone and lonely for the rest of your days.\u00a0 Think of the people you have in your life who you love, would you want to see any of them<\/em> walk the Earth alone for 30, 40, or 50 years?<\/p>\n

As I have said before, I don\u2019t think there is anyone \u2018one\u2019 person for each and every one of us<\/a>; people come and go into our lives, and we have to cherish them for what time we have.\u00a0 Opening your heart to love for another person in no way cheapens the time you had with your husband, and in many way it honors the fact that you know he\u2019d want you to be happy.\u00a0 And when you see each other in the next world you\u2019ll still be able to connect like you always would.\u00a0 Considering the fact that Heaven is eternal and \u2018time as we know it doesn\u2019t exist: Heaven isn\u2019t so much a place we go, but a place that a part of us is always existing in.\u00a0 That is what is real, this is what is temporary.<\/p>\n

But, to cover the more down to Earth part of this:<\/p>\n

Although your husband passed away a year ago, grief is a process<\/em>.\u00a0 It will take as long as it takes for the pain to go away, and believe it or not that can be the hardest part: since one day you\u2019ll wake up and it won\u2019t hurt at all.<\/p>\n

When that happens, it\u2019s easy to get caught feeling guilty for the fact that you are healing!\u00a0 So it is important to remember that recovering emotionally and carrying on with your life does not mean you didn\u2019t love your husband<\/em><\/strong>, it just means that his time here on Earth is over, and yours is not.<\/p>\n

It seems like you were probably married for quite a while, and loved your husband very much.\u00a0 That means if you decide to begin dating again (and I think you should), don\u2019t rush to get back out there, and take any new relationships VERY slowly.\u00a0 \u00a0It is normal and natural to compare anyone new you meet to him, but if you aren\u2019t careful it can be MASSIVELY unfair for the next man; since it is nearly impossible to compete with a memory.<\/p>\n

Take time to be where you are, and let your feelings be where they are, too.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have good days, and bad days, happy days and sad days, guilty days and grateful days.\u00a0 Thank God for having blessed you with the time you had with your husband, and wish peace for him in the next life; and thank God for the life He has continued to bless you with.<\/p>\n

When you are ready, the right man will present himself, and you can start the wonderful journey of falling in love all over again; and in the fullness of time you will all meet in Heaven as friends.<\/p>\n

I will tell you this, though: if God decides to call me home before my wife, I absolutely<\/em> would want her to move on and find love again.\u00a0 Since I love her now, all I want in this life and the next is for her to be happy.<\/p>\n

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Rise UP with B. Dave Walters Episode Recordings<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:<\/strong>
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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