{"id":661,"date":"2012-01-26T04:09:38","date_gmt":"2012-01-26T04:09:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=661"},"modified":"2012-01-26T08:22:48","modified_gmt":"2012-01-26T08:22:48","slug":"qa-im-pregnant-and-scared-should-i-keep-the-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-pregnant-and-scared-should-i-keep-the-baby.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “I’m pregnant and scared…should I keep the baby?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
It is *not* the end of the world<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n“I’m in college, pregnant and scared. I don’t want the baby, but and couldn’t give it up if it gets born. Either the baby’s life ends or my life and hopes for law school ends.”<\/p>\n

On a recent (and very intense) episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>,\u00a0I answered this question along with questions about \u00a0how to find love, how to get over losing a loved one, how feelings affect the Law of Attraction, how to deal with a self-destructive loved one, and many more; but there is a lot more to say about this one.<\/p>\n

Let me be very clear about something right up front: in my life, and in my own household, I am 100% against abortion.
\nI recently shared how when my wife was pregnant with our youngest child, it looked like she was having some developmental problems<\/a>\u00a0but at no point, at no point<\/strong>, did the option of ending the pregnancy come up as an option for us.<\/p>\n

However.
\nI am also equally passionate about defending a woman’s right to choose; it is not my place to try and force my own morality on someone else, or dictate what any woman can or can not do with her body. \u00a0In my mind, it is between her, ideally the father, and God<\/a> what is best for them to do.<\/p>\n

Now for this specific question: having this child in no way means ‘your life ends’; quite the opposite in fact. \u00a0 Having a baby is an amazing blessing<\/a>, that will change and improve your life in ways that you can’t even imagine now.
\nIt seems like this huge, overwhelming thing because you are young and, as you said, you are scared<\/em>.
\nHaving this baby does not<\/strong>\u00a0mean you can’t go to law school, and it does not<\/strong>\u00a0mean that you can’t accomplish your goals. \u00a0It DOES mean that you are going to have to work a lot harder, and things may not come in the time or way that you’ve planned, but it can be done.<\/p>\n

I can give you dozens of examples of women who were up against much bigger obstacles and accomplished incredible things; so the belief that somehow having a baby means you give up your future is an illusion that is made up completely out of fear<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So should you keep the baby, or not?
\nUnfortunately, I can’t tell you what to do about such an important decision, but I can give you a few things to consider (and listen to what was said in the radio episode above, too).<\/p>\n

First, let me tell you I know several people who have chosen to terminate pregnancies for one reason or another, and every single one if them I know has regretted it<\/em>. \u00a0Maybe the decision made logical sense at the time, maybe it STILL makes logical sense; but on a certain level they’ve all had to live with the choice that they made. \u00a0Those friends of mine that chose to terminate their pregnancies because it was somehow inconvenient, and have been unable to have children for whatever reason when they are ‘ready’ regret it most of all.<\/p>\n

Second, talk to the people in your life that you can really trust, hopefully a parent, some sort of spiritual\u00a0adviser, and quite honestly the father. \u00a0Get the opinions of people who know you and your background, since should you decide to go through with it there is a lot of emotional weight that comes with it that it helps to have a support system to deal with. \u00a0And if you have the baby, you’ll need that same support, too.<\/p>\n

I do want to point out something important, though: for reasons I gave in the recording, you do not<\/strong>\u00a0have to marry the father of this child simply because you got pregnant. \u00a0It will be 10,000 times better for the child growing up seeing you all in separate healthy relationships then in one messed up loveless one. \u00a0So if you decide to have the baby, whether or not you decide to stay with the father is a completely separate choice.<\/p>\n

Based on what you wrote it seems that you are aware of the fact that if you lay eyes on the child you won’t be able to give it up; so it also seems like you are aware of how intense the bond between a mother and child can be. \u00a0You should also be aware of the fact that you are in for a lot of heavy emotions no matter what you do, so terminating the\u00a0pregnancy\u00a0won’t change that.<\/p>\n

It is absolutely fine and completely understandable that you are scared; I can tell you first hand it is pretty scary even when you are actively trying to have a baby! \u00a0 There is no easy solution, and if you decide to terminate the pregnancy it doesn’t make you a terrible person, and it doesn’t mean you are going to hell<\/a> or anything like that. \u00a0\u00a0Take some time to pray, meditate, and consider on this and what you need to do, so that you will be able to have some peace knowing you made the absolute best decision for you and your life.<\/p>\n

Just don’t let fear make you do something you’ll regret.<\/p>\n

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Rise UP with B. Dave Walters Episode Recordings<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:<\/strong>
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: “I’m in college, pregnant and scared. I don’t want the baby, but and couldn’t give it up if it gets born. Either the baby’s life ends or my life and hopes for law school ends.” On a recent (and very intense) episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,15,114,81,38,31,46,28,43,49,48,78],"tags":[3,34,13,12,11,109,23,53,26,25,51,24,5,50,56],"class_list":["post-661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-god","category-guilt","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-religion","category-spirituality","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "I'm pregnant and scared...should I keep the baby?" - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-pregnant-and-scared-should-i-keep-the-baby.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "I'm pregnant and scared...should I keep the baby?" - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: “I’m in college, pregnant and scared. 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