{"id":653,"date":"2012-01-25T02:32:33","date_gmt":"2012-01-25T02:32:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=653"},"modified":"2012-01-25T02:32:33","modified_gmt":"2012-01-25T02:32:33","slug":"qa-how-do-i-stay-positive-around-all-these-negative-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-how-do-i-stay-positive-around-all-these-negative-people.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&amp;A: &#8220;How do I stay positive around all these negative people?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_658\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-658\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_A3fDDxReG18\/SkFPZLv4W1I\/AAAAAAAACHM\/4LwWuHsGiCc\/s400\/grumpy.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-658\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/01\/grumpy-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-658\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Yeah...some people are just Grumpy \ud83d\ude09<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Questions<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"> submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<br \/>\n\u201cHello. I am a recent college grad who still cannot find employment. I live with my parents and younger brother at home but they are all such negative people. Constantly angry and pessimistic it&#8217;s hard to stay positive in such an environment!\u201d<br \/>\nAnd,<br \/>\n\u201cHow does one train their expectations in order to manifest a wanted desire?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We talked about both of these questions on a recent episode of my radio show, <a href=\"http:\/\/su.pr\/9auPot\">Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, but there is more to say about it.<\/p>\n<p>The reason why these two questions are together here is because they speak to the same basic thing: training your expectations; more specifically, the fact that <em>perception is reality<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s look at little closer at the first question:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am a recent college grad who <em>still<\/em> <em>cannot find employment.<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 Still?\u00a0 Why still?<\/p>\n<p>Remember, <a href=\"http:\/\/features.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/making-sense-of-things-or-lucky-number-13.html\" target=\"_blank\">everything lives in language<\/a>; the implication by saying you \u2018still\u2019 can\u2019t find employment shows you\u2019ve built it up in your mind as some sort of burden you are bearing.\u00a0 \u00a0Even making a small change like saying \u201cI haven\u2019t found a job yet, but I am still looking\u201d will make a BIG difference in how the situation occurs to you in your mind.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2026They <em>are all such negative people; constantly angry and pessimistic\u2026.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re SUCH negative people? They\u2019re<strong> constantly<\/strong> angry and pessimistic?\u00a0 Are they ever cheerful <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">ever<\/span>, or at least neutral about <em>anything?\u00a0 <\/em>If so, then they aren\u2019t CONSTANTLY angry or pessimistic, are they?<\/p>\n<p>Again, the way you phrased this reveals how you have built it up in your mind; your expectation is anger and pessimism, and so what you perceive is anger and pessimism.<\/p>\n<p>It may be that their behavior has occasional, even frequent negative aspects to it, but you have to be aware of something important: <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">you haven\u2019t created the space for them to act any other way<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, <a href=\"http:\/\/features.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/how-to-trust-or-how-to-forgive-video.html\" target=\"_blank\">people\u2019s words only have what power over you that you give them<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Like everyone else, they are dealing with their own <a href=\"http:\/\/features.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/why-god-why-or-letting-go-ii-video.html\" target=\"_blank\">baggage, issues, incompletions, and disappointments that they need to let go of,<\/a> it really isn\u2019t up to you to change that.\u00a0 \u00a0Even more than that, there is only one way you even CAN change it: and that is through your own example.\u00a0 If you want them to be more positive, show them how; show them that their attitudes have no impact on you, and that you are always smiling with your head held high no matter what comes your way.<\/p>\n<p>And that leads us to the second question:<\/p>\n<p>You train your expectations, quite frankly by learning to expect the best!<\/p>\n<p>As you can see above, there are always many different ways to look at something; you have to start training yourself to look at things in the most positive light possible.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you in on a secret: there is ALWAYS a more positive light to see things in, even if it\u2019s simply thanking God that things aren\u2019t any <em>worse<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Like anything, this is a habit that you have to form; the bad news is you\u2019ve spent your whole life focusin on the negative.\u00a0 But the good news is this habit is the number one quality of both <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/video\/video.php?v=254597084569121\">highly enlightened people, and super geniuses<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>Start off each day by thanking God \/ The Universe for everything you have, and all the things you are grateful for.\u00a0 Then move on to giving thanks for all the wonderful things that are coming into your life, <em>before they actually happen. <\/em>\u00a0This is the real key to the <a href=\"http:\/\/features.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/mastering-the-law-of-attraction-or-creating-what-you-really-want-video.html\" target=\"_blank\">Law of Attraction<\/a>; to feel grateful and excited about things before they even arrive.<br \/>\nSome people say \u201cI\u2019ll believe it when I see it\u201d, but the exact opposite is true: you\u2019ll see it when you believe it.<\/p>\n<p>What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n<p>You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n<p>And if you love me back, click &#8216;share&#8217; up at the top!<\/p>\n<p>B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n<p>Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n<p>Find out more about me:<br \/>\n<a title=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ask me anything:<br \/>\n<a title=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/notes\/b-dave-walters\/rise-up-with-b-dave-walters-episode-recordings\/10150177932254386\" target=\"_blank\">Rise UP with B. Dave Walters Episode Recordings<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Pages I support:<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<a title=\"Jesus and Buddha \" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jesusnbuddha\" target=\"_blank\">Jesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Gnostic Theism\" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Gnostic-Theism\/213600055362473\" target=\"_blank\">Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/177682155586539\/\" target=\"_blank\">Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Twitter.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Facebook.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_YouTube.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"49\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_MySpace.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/email_button.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"47\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Questions submitted via Formspring: \u201cHello. I am a recent college grad who still cannot find employment. I live with my parents and younger brother at home but they are all such negative people. Constantly angry and pessimistic it&#8217;s hard to stay positive in such an environment!\u201d And, \u201cHow does one train their expectations in order&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,35,15,114,29,81,38,40,31,46,110,28,112,41,43,45,30,17,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,115,11,109,6,14,23,26,25,51,24,5,42,50,18,56,7,113],"class_list":["post-653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-god","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-law-of-attraction-2","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-nlp","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-universal-law","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-stress","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Q&amp;A: &quot;How do I stay positive around all these negative people?&quot; - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-how-do-i-stay-positive-around-all-these-negative-people.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&amp;A: &quot;How do I stay positive around all these negative people?&quot; - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Questions submitted via Formspring: \u201cHello. I am a recent college grad who still cannot find employment. I live with my parents and younger brother at home but they are all such negative people. Constantly angry and pessimistic it&#8217;s hard to stay positive in such an environment!\u201d And, \u201cHow does one train their expectations in order&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-how-do-i-stay-positive-around-all-these-negative-people.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-25T02:32:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/grumpy-300x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/653","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=653"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/653\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":660,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/653\/revisions\/660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}