{"id":635,"date":"2012-01-24T01:29:40","date_gmt":"2012-01-24T01:29:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=635"},"modified":"2012-01-24T01:29:40","modified_gmt":"2012-01-24T01:29:40","slug":"qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “He loves me, but he doesn’t express it in the way that I want him to…”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Men and women often really do speak two different languages!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted viaFormspring<\/a>
\n\u201cI am in love with a person. He too loves me. But he doesn’t express it the way I want. How do I make him do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, there are at least three competing things going on here.
\nThe first thing is, you have to\u00a0understand men and how we work<\/a>.
\nThen you have to ask if you have\u00a0different personality types<\/a>\u00a0with different communication styles.<\/p>\n

And then finally:
\nWhat are your expectations, and are they reasonable? You say he loves you, but ‘doesn’t express it in the way that you want’; how does he express it?
\nFor instance, does he do nice things for you, but maybe not talk as sweetly as you’d like? Or is it the opposite, where he gives you honey words, but doesn’t take out the garbage? And more importantly, have you communicated to him that while you know he cares, you wish he would do -blank- thing for you more often? If you don’t tell him what you want, how can he know he isn’t doing it?<\/p>\n

As for how to ‘make’ him do what you want him to do, you can’t.
\nYou can’t MAKE anyone do anything, at least not in the long term; but you can encourage him to choose to do what you want.
\nQuite frankly, use bait.
\nIf there is something you know he likes, when he does something that makes you happy: give it to him! If there is a certain part of your body he likes, wear (or don’t wear) things that accentuate it. If he has a favorite meal, cook it. Show him that when he lives up to your expectations, you’ll live up to his.<\/p>\n

Remember, you always\u00a0catch more flies with honey<\/a>; and you CAN NOT nag, guilt, complain, or bully him into doing what you want.
\nLet him know that you understand that he cares, but that you wish he’d express it in a different way. Explain how you’d like it done, and reward him when he does. And if all else fails, have him see my article and video on\u00a0Women and what you need to be happy<\/a>!<\/p>\n

Keep us posted on how it turns out.<\/p>\n

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted viaFormspring \u201cI am in love with a person. He too loves me. But he doesn’t express it the way I want. How do I make him do that?\u201d Well, there are at least three competing things going on here. The first thing is, you have to\u00a0understand men and how we work. Then you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,38,31,46,28,112,41,43,45,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,11,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,56],"class_list":["post-635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "He loves me, but he doesn't express it in the way that I want him to..." - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "He loves me, but he doesn't express it in the way that I want him to..." - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted viaFormspring \u201cI am in love with a person. He too loves me. But he doesn’t express it the way I want. How do I make him do that?\u201d Well, there are at least three competing things going on here. The first thing is, you have to\u00a0understand men and how we work. Then you…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-24T01:29:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/7336de30d04e2a083a8670ef99c06c3d.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. Dave Walters\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Q&A: \"He loves me, but he doesn't express it in the way that I want him to...\" - A Reason to Smile","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Q&A: \"He loves me, but he doesn't express it in the way that I want him to...\" - A Reason to Smile","og_description":"Question submitted viaFormspring \u201cI am in love with a person. He too loves me. But he doesn’t express it the way I want. How do I make him do that?\u201d Well, there are at least three competing things going on here. The first thing is, you have to\u00a0understand men and how we work. Then you…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2012-01-24T01:29:40+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/7336de30d04e2a083a8670ef99c06c3d.jpg"}],"author":"B. Dave Walters","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html","name":"Q&A: \"He loves me, but he doesn't express it in the way that I want him to...\" - A Reason to Smile","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/7336de30d04e2a083a8670ef99c06c3d.jpg","datePublished":"2012-01-24T01:29:40+00:00","dateModified":"2012-01-24T01:29:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/7336de30d04e2a083a8670ef99c06c3d.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/7336de30d04e2a083a8670ef99c06c3d.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-loves-me-but-he-doesnt-express-it-in-the-way-that-i-want-him-to.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Q&A: “He loves me, but he doesn’t express it in the way that I want him to…”"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/","name":"A Reason to Smile","description":"Beliefnet Voices - B. Dave Walters","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9","name":"B. Dave Walters","description":"B. Dave Walters is like a mix between Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, and the Old Spice Guy. He is the winner of the \"Be the Next Beleifnet Featured Blogger\" contest for Beliefnet.com in the Hope & Inspiration category. He is also the host of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters on Party 93.4 FM out of Hudson Valley, New York, as well as a nationally syndicated columnist on the topics of spirituality and relationships for the Examiner.com. He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=635"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":637,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635\/revisions\/637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}