{"id":579,"date":"2012-01-15T21:12:15","date_gmt":"2012-01-15T21:12:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=579"},"modified":"2012-01-15T21:12:15","modified_gmt":"2012-01-15T21:12:15","slug":"why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html","title":{"rendered":"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO)"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_581\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-581\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/files\/u794\/man-with-anxiety.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-581\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"246\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-581\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">How to break the cycle of self-sabotage<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Question\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\">submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<br \/>\n\u201cI&#8217;m in a two years relationship. I always thought, that we were indestructible, but for a few months I don&#8217;t think that anymore&#8230; And I dont wanna think all the time about &#8220;are we meant to be&#8221; cause i know that i can decide if we are. But how do I know?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The important thing to remember about any self-sabotaging behavior, or situation you are worried about is: things only get scary if you look too far ahead!<\/p>\n<p>If your relationship is working fine right now, that is what matters; whether or not you&#8217;ll get married 3 years from now will have to wait until 2 \u00bd years from now!<\/p>\n<p>If you think about it, self-sabotage is rooted in fear, fear that whatever happens in the future will be bad. Fear of the future, and of uncertainty in general are such problems that I did an entire program on how to fix it.<\/p>\n<p>The answer to the question above, along with the details on my new program, are included in the video below:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"All About You With B. Dave Walters Episode 54 Part 1 Self-Sabotage.mp4\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/13gmO6evxC0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Part 2 of the video talks more about the concept of self sabotage, including:<br \/>\n*Why you self-sabotage<br \/>\n*What it gets you<br \/>\n*Why you need to stop<br \/>\n*How you can change<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"All About You With B. Dave Walters Episode 54 Part 2 Self-Sabotage.mp4\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/NamGFMyyqhQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n<p>You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n<p>And if you love me back, click &#8216;share&#8217; up at the top!<\/p>\n<p>B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n<p>Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n<p>Find out more about me:<br \/>\n<a title=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ask me anything:<br \/>\n<a title=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Pages I support:<br \/>\n<a title=\"Jesus and Buddha \" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jesusnbuddha\" target=\"_blank\">Jesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Gnostic Theism\" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Gnostic-Theism\/213600055362473\" target=\"_blank\">Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/177682155586539\/\" target=\"_blank\">Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Twitter.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Facebook.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_YouTube.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"49\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_MySpace.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/email_button.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"47\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI&#8217;m in a two years relationship. I always thought, that we were indestructible, but for a few months I don&#8217;t think that anymore&#8230; And I dont wanna think all the time about &#8220;are we meant to be&#8221; cause i know that i can decide if we are. But how do I know?\u201d&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,55,39,35,114,29,81,38,31,46,28,112,41,43,45,30,78],"tags":[4,3,44,34,13,12,115,11,36,6,14,22,23,53,26,25,51,24,56],"class_list":["post-579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-all-about-you","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO) - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO) - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI&#8217;m in a two years relationship. I always thought, that we were indestructible, but for a few months I don&#8217;t think that anymore&#8230; And I dont wanna think all the time about &#8220;are we meant to be&#8221; cause i know that i can decide if we are. But how do I know?\u201d&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-15T21:12:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. Dave Walters\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO) - A Reason to Smile","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO) - A Reason to Smile","og_description":"Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI&#8217;m in a two years relationship. I always thought, that we were indestructible, but for a few months I don&#8217;t think that anymore&#8230; And I dont wanna think all the time about &#8220;are we meant to be&#8221; cause i know that i can decide if we are. But how do I know?\u201d&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2012-01-15T21:12:15+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg"}],"author":"B. Dave Walters","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html","name":"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO) - A Reason to Smile","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg","datePublished":"2012-01-15T21:12:15+00:00","dateModified":"2012-01-15T21:12:15+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/01\/resized_man_with_anxiety.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/why-you-self-sabotage-or-how-to-stop-making-yourself-miserable-video.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why you self-sabotage; Or, how to stop making yourself miserable (VIDEO)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/","name":"A Reason to Smile","description":"Beliefnet Voices - B. Dave Walters","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9","name":"B. Dave Walters","description":"B. Dave Walters is like a mix between Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, and the Old Spice Guy. He is the winner of the \"Be the Next Beleifnet Featured Blogger\" contest for Beliefnet.com in the Hope &amp; Inspiration category. He is also the host of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters on Party 93.4 FM out of Hudson Valley, New York, as well as a nationally syndicated columnist on the topics of spirituality and relationships for the Examiner.com. He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=579"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":583,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579\/revisions\/583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}