{"id":564,"date":"2012-01-13T02:19:48","date_gmt":"2012-01-13T02:19:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=564"},"modified":"2012-01-13T02:19:48","modified_gmt":"2012-01-13T02:19:48","slug":"qa-im-constantly-wondering-when-am-i-ever-going-to-get-married-myself-how-do-i-stop-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-constantly-wondering-when-am-i-ever-going-to-get-married-myself-how-do-i-stop-it.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “I’m constantly wondering when am I ever going to get married myself; how do I stop it?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
He can't give you what you're looking for<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(Unedited) Question\u00a0submitted via Facebook<\/a>
\n\u201cO life coach (lol) I have something that is constantly on my mind that I can’t seem to shake. I want to get married. It’s constantly on my mind. Everyone around me is getting married or engaged and I’m constantly wondering when am I ever going to get married myself. From past experience I know not jump into anything bc i may end up regretting it (which is good bc in the past I would rush in to things…. I was like Joan from girlfriends. Every man i see i ask myself if he’s my hubby. I know scary) I’m talking to this gentleman right now but every time I talk to him I’m constantly asking myself “is he my husband” I know it’s not healthy. How do I stop it?\u201d<\/p>\n

My first, second, and third questions are: what does getting married\u00a0mean to you?
\nDoes it mean that you have a man who is never going to leave you? The divorce rate here in Los Angeles is over 75%, so marriage means no such thing.<\/p>\n

Does it mean you can brag to your family and friends and have your dream wedding?What difference does it make what anyone else thinks<\/a>? As long as you are happy with you, you don’t need anyone else’s approval.<\/p>\n

Or does getting married mean that\u00a0you are good enough<\/a>\u00a0and that you are worth loving?
\nThe love that you are looking for can only come from within,\u00a0you have to love you, first<\/a>. As we’ve discussed\u00a0before\u00a0<\/a>, you can’t love anyone else more than you love yourself, and you won’t let them love you more than you love yourself. Even if you find the right man tomorrow, you’ll put an unrealistic expectation upon him and your relationship, since you’ll be looking for him to fill a hole that only you can fill.
\nAnd you start filling it, by realizing it doesn’t actually exist!<\/p>\n

So to answer your question: you get over obsessing over marriage by loving you, first. And\u00a0when you find the right man<\/a><\/p>\n

things will fall into place naturally, all by themselves.<\/p>\n

Keep us posted on how it turns out.<\/p>\n

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Unedited) Question\u00a0submitted via Facebook \u201cO life coach (lol) I have something that is constantly on my mind that I can’t seem to shake. I want to get married. It’s constantly on my mind. Everyone around me is getting married or engaged and I’m constantly wondering when am I ever going to get married myself. From…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,35,114,29,81,38,31,46,28,112,41,43,45,30,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,115,54,11,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,56],"class_list":["post-564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "I'm constantly wondering when am I ever going to get married myself; how do I stop it?" - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-constantly-wondering-when-am-i-ever-going-to-get-married-myself-how-do-i-stop-it.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "I'm constantly wondering when am I ever going to get married myself; how do I stop it?" - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Unedited) Question\u00a0submitted via Facebook \u201cO life coach (lol) I have something that is constantly on my mind that I can’t seem to shake. 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