{"id":556,"date":"2012-01-12T02:29:34","date_gmt":"2012-01-12T02:29:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=556"},"modified":"2012-01-12T02:29:34","modified_gmt":"2012-01-12T02:29:34","slug":"qa-im-dating-a-man-whos-is-not-as-physically-fit-as-i-would-love-him-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-dating-a-man-whos-is-not-as-physically-fit-as-i-would-love-him-to-be.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “I’m dating a man who’s is not as physically fit as I would love him to be…”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Beauty is only skin deep...right? \ud83d\ude09<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n“I’m dating a man who is wonderful, except he is not as physically fit as I would love him to be.
\nHow should I go about having him get in better shape, or should I just leave him for someone similar, but more fit?”<\/p>\n

We have talked about how to find the right person<\/a>, how to understand men<\/a>, and how to understand women<\/a> already, so this is a very important thing for us to talk about!<\/p>\n

So part of the process that we’ve talked about before now, is figuring out what you want, and figuring out what you don’t<\/strong>\u00a0want. \u00a0Keep in mind the old 80\/20 rule (in this case, don’t lose someone who is 80% of perfect to chase the 20% they are missing); so if he really is that wonderful, then yes it’s worth sticking with to help him change. \u00a0If he is not<\/em>\u00a0that wonderful, or you already know you have no long term future together, then yes you can save you both some time by moving on now<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now if this somehow seems shallow, or\u00a0insensitive, let me help clear it up: \u00a0 what is the #1 difference between a boyfriend or girlfriend and a close friend?<\/p>\n

ATTRACTION<\/strong><\/span>!<\/p>\n

If there is no chemistry, no tingle in your naughty bits, then you aren’t going to last. \u00a0I’ve have known many people that tried to force a relationship with someone they weren’t physically attracted to, and it never works over the long term. \u00a0 Better to dissolve it and stay friends, while finding that\u00a0fulfillment\u00a0somewhere else.<\/p>\n

Now, if you DO decide he is worth the trouble, the #1 way to get him moving is by example<\/em>. \u00a0Remember, I shared in the article\/video on men<\/a>\u00a0that our egos are very<\/span>\u00a0easily manipulated; squeeze his arm and ask him if he is working out…you’ll see him puff his chest out and start flexing!<\/p>\n

Or, suggest you do things together that make you get out and get active; walks in the park, bike rides, swimming, even flag football are all good choices. \u00a0When you eat, choose healthier\u00a0restaurants; try to steer him away from a pitcher of beer, have red wine instead.<\/p>\n

Tell him that you<\/em>\u00a0are trying to get into better shape so you can be sexier for him<\/strong>, and ask him to help you; he’ll be glad to get up early and run and eat salad for dinner when he sees what’s in it for him. \u00a0Add to that you making a big deal when those muscles start to show, and how cute his butt looks in his jeans, and he’ll be working out like Mr. Olympia in no time.<\/p>\n

One VERY important thing to point out<\/strong><\/span>, though: guys, if you want your ladies to lose a couple of pounds, this is\u00a0not <\/em><\/strong>how to go about making that happen; that is a whole other can of worms. \u00a0If you want to know how to make it happen, shoot me a question on Formspring<\/a>!<\/p>\n

What do you think they should do? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: “I’m dating a man who is wonderful, except he is not as physically fit as I would love him to be. How should I go about having him get in better shape, or should I just leave him for someone similar, but more fit?” We have talked about how to find…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,86,35,114,29,38,31,43,45],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,11,14,22,23,53,26,25,51,24,56],"class_list":["post-556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fitness","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "I'm dating a man who's is not as physically fit as I would love him to be..." - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-im-dating-a-man-whos-is-not-as-physically-fit-as-i-would-love-him-to-be.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "I'm dating a man who's is not as physically fit as I would love him to be..." - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: “I’m dating a man who is wonderful, except he is not as physically fit as I would love him to be. 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