{"id":548,"date":"2012-01-09T22:52:36","date_gmt":"2012-01-09T22:52:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=548"},"modified":"2012-01-09T22:52:36","modified_gmt":"2012-01-09T22:52:36","slug":"qa-he-says-he-is-leaving-her-for-me-but-never-does-whats-going-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-says-he-is-leaving-her-for-me-but-never-does-whats-going-on.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “He says he is leaving her for me but never does, what’s going on?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Subtle, yes?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via\u00a0Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cI have a male friend who lives with his girlfriend and been with her years. However, he flirts with me all the time, promises to come and see me (even though I live hundreds of miles away), says he is breaking up but never does? Whats going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, then you’ll have married a man who cheats on his wife.
\n-Ann Landers.<\/p>\n

The simple answer is: move on.
\nThe reason why you should move on, is one of two things is going to happen, perhaps one of three:
\n1.He is never going to leave her, and you are wasting your time.
\n2.He IS going to leave her, but you’ll never trust him ever, since you know he has it in his character to cheat.
\n3.He really leaves her for you, but is constantly comparing you to her and every time you fight he tries to run back to her.<\/p>\n

A common mistake people make is to leave one person for another person; a situation that will cause problems 99% of the time.
\nThe reason why this is, is because you are comparing the totality of your relationship with your current person: seeing them happy and sad, sick and well, funny and depressing, with the other person’s best foot forward.
\nOr put it another way: the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence because you don’t have to mow it!<\/p>\n

For this guy, or anyone else in a situation like this, he needs to do two things:
\nFirst he needs to decide if his current relationship has truly over, and either work with his girl to fix it, or\u00a0break up and move on<\/a>.
\nTHEN the two of you need to decide if you want to be together, starting from scratch.<\/p>\n

To do it any other way is to invite problems. Hands off this guy until he gets his act together!
\nKeep us posted on how it turns out.<\/p>\n

What do you think? \u00a0Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— \u00a0A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via\u00a0Formspring: \u201cI have a male friend who lives with his girlfriend and been with her years. However, he flirts with me all the time, promises to come and see me (even though I live hundreds of miles away), says he is breaking up but never does? Whats going on?\u201d If you marry a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,114,29,38,31,46,28,43,45,78],"tags":[3,44,13,12,54,11,36,14,23,53,25,51,24,42,56],"class_list":["post-548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "He says he is leaving her for me but never does, what's going on?" - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/01\/qa-he-says-he-is-leaving-her-for-me-but-never-does-whats-going-on.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "He says he is leaving her for me but never does, what's going on?" - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via\u00a0Formspring: \u201cI have a male friend who lives with his girlfriend and been with her years. 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