{"id":468,"date":"2011-12-27T04:44:37","date_gmt":"2011-12-27T04:44:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=468"},"modified":"2011-12-27T04:48:50","modified_gmt":"2011-12-27T04:48:50","slug":"qa-how-to-deal-with-a-family-member-with-mental-illness-video","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/12\/qa-how-to-deal-with-a-family-member-with-mental-illness-video.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: How to deal with a family member with mental illness? (VIDEO)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Mental Illness hurts everyone<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Questions submitted via\u00a0Formspring.me<\/a><\/p>\n

“How does a mother deal with loosing her first born to schizophrenia, and see him loose intrest in life, and in his own being?? How can she overcome the saddness of knowing he will never be the same. How can I accept the fact that he is sick?”<\/p>\n

\u201cA family member was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I find myself being sucked into her cyclone of depression and anger. How can people remain stable, positive and loving toward family with mental illnesses?\u201d<\/p>\n

These two questions require slightly different answers (but overlap quite a bit). \u00a0The reason why I answer them together, is it is easy to think that we are the only ones going through pain. \u00a0By looking at this through the eyes of a child dealing with a sick parent, and a parent looking at a sick child, we can see how similar the situations really are.<\/p>\n

First and foremost, arm yourself with knowledge about what they are going through; Dr. KC Kelly wrote a series of excellent articles on BPD and how it affects individuals and their families, which you can find\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

While it’s natural to feel empathy for a loved one who is in pain, realize that no one else can MAKE you feel anything.
\nThe reality is, things happen how they happen; people do what they do.
\nIn the face of that, we choose to apply certain meanings to what happens, and react to those meanings, rather than what is *actually happening *.<\/p>\n

In the video below, you’ll find
\nWhy things bother you, and how not to let them.
\nHow we attach meanings to things, and how it affects our lives; and how to reframe things to help you feel happy and calm all the time.<\/p>\n