{"id":454,"date":"2011-12-24T23:43:07","date_gmt":"2011-12-24T23:43:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=454"},"modified":"2011-12-24T23:49:32","modified_gmt":"2011-12-24T23:49:32","slug":"qa-no-one-will-marry-me-because-of-how-i-act","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/12\/qa-no-one-will-marry-me-because-of-how-i-act.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “No one will marry me because of how I act”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Do you feel like talking to her?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m 30 female..but there is a child soul inside me,,, it makes me happy,,,but people dislike it,, they keep saying you are old old old girl you are not pretty to act like that… no one will marry you cos you are expired so grow up …tell me what to do?<\/p>\n

Well first, I can\u2019t \u2018tell you what to do\u2019, I can only offer my opinion!<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s break this down into pieces:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You are a 30 year old female.<\/li>\n
  2. You are unmarried.<\/li>\n
  3. You have a \u2018child soul\u2019 that \u2018makes you happy\u2019<\/li>\n
  4. \u2018People\u2019 (what people?) say \u2018you shouldn\u2019t act like that\u2019 (act how?)<\/li>\n
  5. \u2018They\u2019 say no one will marry you because you haven\u2019t grown up.<\/li>\n
  6. It looks like you *want* to get married, or you wouldn\u2019t have asked the question.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    We have talked before about how to find the right man<\/a>\u00a0and about the right time to get married<\/a>; so no matter how you act it is possible to find a man who will appreciate that \u2018child soul\u2019.<\/p>\n

    It also appears that you are not from the United States, so there may be a lot of pressure on you to act a certain way in order to get the approval of your parents, family, or community.<\/p>\n

    There is a world of difference between being youthful and care-free, and being immature<\/em>.<\/p>\n

    If you are 30 years old and you like ALL the same things you liked in High School and still dress that way; if your favorite singer is Justin Bieber and your favorite book is Twilight, those might be red flags\u2026since those things are designed for children.<\/p>\n

    Yes, I said it ladies!<\/p>\n

    However, if you have a job, pay your own bills and have your own home (if your culture allows it), AND you just happen to like those type things, that\u2019s not all bad.\u00a0 \u00a0It\u2019s fine to like simple pleasures (I know 30 year olds who watch the Care Bears\u2026by themselves), but only as long as you taking care of your responsibilities first.<\/p>\n

    The true definition of being an adult is when you stop relying on other people, and people start relying on you.\u00a0 You\u2019re not being taken care of by your parents; you are taking care of yourself.\u00a0 If you want people to perceive you as an adult, make sure you are someone who can be counted on to do what needs to be done.\u00a0 If you are not working, or don\u2019t have your own place, then you can help with the chores around the house\u2026or do them all.\u00a0 Try having dinner ready for everyone when they come home; or if cooking isn\u2019t your thing try having the house clean and tidy.\u00a0 If neither cooking nor cleaning are for you, then start working to bring in extra money in to pay the bills.\u00a0 At 30 you should be more than able to run a household.\u00a0 If you realize you aren\u2019t, start learning how to do it, since when you do get married you\u2019ll have a house to run!<\/p>\n

    Once you start doing these things, or if you are already<\/strong> doing these things, then you have nothing else to worry about.\u00a0 If you have a child\u2019s heart but an adult\u2019s brain; if you know how to have fun while knowing how to get things done, then you have nothing else to worry about.<\/p>\n

    You are great, and I love you!<\/p>\n

    And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

    B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

    Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

    Find out more about me:
    \n    http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Ask me anything:
    \n    http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

    Pages I support:
    \n    Jesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

    Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

    Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0—\u00a0\u00a0A safe place to come find more reasons to smile!<\/p>\n

    \u00a0 \u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    (Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m 30 female..but there is a child soul inside me,,, it makes me happy,,,but people dislike it,, they keep saying you are old old old girl you are not pretty to act like that… no one will marry you cos you are expired so grow up …tell me what to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,38,31,46,43,45,30,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,23,53,25,51,24],"class_list":["post-454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "No one will marry me because of how I act" - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "No one will marry me because of how I act" - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m 30 female..but there is a child soul inside me,,, it makes me happy,,,but people dislike it,, they keep saying you are old old old girl you are not pretty to act like that… no one will marry you cos you are expired so grow up …tell me what to…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/12\/qa-no-one-will-marry-me-because-of-how-i-act.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-12-24T23:43:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-12-24T23:49:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2011\/12\/offPitch.091132.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. 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