{"id":231,"date":"2011-11-10T03:03:57","date_gmt":"2011-11-10T03:03:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=231"},"modified":"2014-11-17T00:45:34","modified_gmt":"2014-11-17T00:45:34","slug":"dear-dr-laura-why-cant-i-own-a-canadian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/dear-dr-laura-why-cant-i-own-a-canadian.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear Dr. Laura: Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
So…why can’t I?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

*Note, I didn\u2019t write this; but it’s been floating around the internet for a few years now, and every time I read it, it makes me smile (especially since my wife is Canadian!).<\/p>\n

It highlights the real difficulty of *situational* use of the Bible as an authority, which doesn\u2019t work for reasons we\u2019ll discuss a little later.<\/p>\n

Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

October 2002<\/p>\n

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:<\/em><\/p>\n

“Dear Dr. Laura:<\/p>\n

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:<\/p>\n

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?<\/p>\n

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?<\/p>\n

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.<\/p>\n

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?<\/p>\n

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?<\/p>\n

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?<\/p>\n

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20\/20, or is there some wiggle room here?<\/p>\n

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?<\/p>\n

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?<\/p>\n

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton\/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)<\/p>\n

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.<\/p>\n

Your devoted fan,<\/p>\n

Jim”<\/p>\n

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*Note, I didn\u2019t write this; but it’s been floating around the internet for a few years now, and every time I read it, it makes me smile (especially since my wife is Canadian!). It highlights the real difficulty of *situational* use of the Bible as an authority, which doesn\u2019t work for reasons we\u2019ll discuss a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,38,49],"tags":[3,58,11,109,9,59],"class_list":["post-231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-god","category-hope-inspiration","category-religion","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-bible","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-jesus","tag-scripture"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Dr. Laura: Why Can't I Own a Canadian? - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/dear-dr-laura-why-cant-i-own-a-canadian.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Dr. Laura: Why Can't I Own a Canadian? - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"*Note, I didn\u2019t write this; but it’s been floating around the internet for a few years now, and every time I read it, it makes me smile (especially since my wife is Canadian!). 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. 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