{"id":224,"date":"2011-11-09T04:34:01","date_gmt":"2011-11-09T04:34:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=224"},"modified":"2011-11-09T04:35:33","modified_gmt":"2011-11-09T04:35:33","slug":"224","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/224.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “How to deal with someone who beats his parents” (!!!)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
It never gets any easier....<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cHow to deal with someone who beats his parents on a regular basis? His parents tried everything to fix his aggressive character but he doesn\u2019t want to come out of the shell of his own. I somehow feel agitated when I am about to meet him, what to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

So, to be clear: this guy beats his parents<\/em>?<\/p>\n

The second line about \u201che doesn\u2019t want to come out of the shell of his own\u201d is throwing me off slightly, but I believe you are saying he is aggressive and physically violent, and nothing they have done so far has helped.<\/p>\n

The simple answer is: don\u2019t deal with him.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t have anything to do with him at all<\/span>.<\/p>\n

A person who has enough anger and hostility built up to be willing to physically lash out at those closest to him is a person who can just as easily lash out at YOU<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI somehow feel agitated when I am about to meet him\u201d pretty much says it all; deep inside even you know that you aren\u2019t safe around him.\u00a0 So\u2026don\u2019t be around him.<\/p>\n

To go out on a bit of a limb, if this is a situation, like perhaps some sort of arranged marriage\u2026don\u2019t agree to it.\u00a0 Whatever you are being promised with (or afraid of) is not worth a life time of living with an abuser, or in fear of being abused.\u00a0 Since, as I said before, that anger will come out just as easily on yourself or your children.<\/p>\n

And, if are you in the extremely unfortunate situation of being FORCED to be around this guy, then I\u2019d say do your best to figure out what triggers him, and avoid doing it as much as possible.\u00a0 Also try to figure out what calms him down when he is raging, so you can be ready to deal with it when it happens.<\/p>\n

But under no circumstances<\/strong> should you start thinking you can \u2018fix\u2019 him, or \u2018change\u2019 him\u2026since you can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

The only chance for him to change is if he decides it for himself; but based on what you said earlier he doesn\u2019t seem too interested in it.<\/p>\n

So, get away from this guy as fast as possible and get as far away from him as possible\u2026.and God forbid he has already put his hands on you, you can find out how to deal with that here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters<\/p>\n

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring \u201cHow to deal with someone who beats his parents on a regular basis? His parents tried everything to fix his aggressive character but he doesn\u2019t want to come out of the shell of his own. I somehow feel agitated when I am about to meet him, what to do?\u201d So,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,39,29,38,31,46,28,43,45],"tags":[57,3,12,36,23,53,24],"class_list":["post-224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","tag-abuse","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-emotions","tag-hope","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: "How to deal with someone who beats his parents" (!!!) - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/11\/224.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: "How to deal with someone who beats his parents" (!!!) - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring \u201cHow to deal with someone who beats his parents on a regular basis? 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