{"id":170,"date":"2011-10-23T04:42:59","date_gmt":"2011-10-23T04:42:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=170"},"modified":"2011-10-23T04:42:59","modified_gmt":"2011-10-23T04:42:59","slug":"qa-i-stay-because-im-afraid-of-being-alone-but-what-can-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/qa-i-stay-because-im-afraid-of-being-alone-but-what-can-i-do.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: “I stay because I’m afraid of being alone, but what can I do?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
There are worse things than being alone....<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>
\n\u201cI stay with him because I’m afraid of being alone, but what can I do?\u201d<\/p>\n

I have gone on record many time before saying that it is better to be alone, then to be with the wrong person.<\/p>\n

In my coaching work<\/a> I hear all kinds of excuses for staying in relationships that aren’t working anymore. If your reason for staying together is anything other than \u201cbecause we love each other more than anything else\u201d, it’s a bad reason. Unfortunately, there are still situations where even that isn’t enough.<\/p>\n

Let me reiterate: IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO BE WITH THE WRONG PERSON.<\/p>\n

There are a few reasons why this is the case.
\nFirst is, it sends the wrong message to the Universe<\/a>. Clinging to a relationship that you know isn’t working is telling the Universe that you don’t don’t deserve anything better.
\nIf you have the courage to step out on your own, then you at least create the possibility of BOTH of you finding someone who can help you feel happy and fulfilled.<\/p>\n

The second reason is, it’s giving into fear<\/a>. The fear of being alone is one of the most common ones out there; the question is: what are you afraid of?
\nMany people stay in toxic, hostile, and even dangerous relationships with emotionally, verbally, or even physically abusive relationships because they believe they can’t do any better.
\nTo which I reply: unfulfilling relationships aren’t hard to come by; finding someone else to be mean to you won’t be too hard to do!<\/p>\n

The real issue is even deeper, and that’s the old fear that \u201cI’m not good enough\u201d. That fear that deep down inside, a person doesn’t really feel like they are worth loving, or that they deserve to be happy. So, they manifest relationships that demonstrate this, possibly even with mates that TELL them no one else will love them if they leave.<\/p>\n

The real truth is this: if someone is abusing you, they don’t love you<\/a>.
\nMental, emotional, or verbal abuse are ALL abuse, and should never be tolerated ever.
\nIf the relationship has just gone stale, then you need to learn how to work together to improve it or start the process of letting go.
\nRemember, as always: if you can’t communicate, then you don’t have a relationship!<\/p>\n

How to get over bad relationships, how to create good ones, and how to deal with fear are such common questions that I did three entire programs on just that:<\/p>\n

What you have to do is, love yourself first<\/a>. No one who truly loves themselves is ever afraid of being alone, since you know your value and enjoy your own company!<\/p>\n

And it doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, how much you weigh or what you do for a living, someone out there is looking for someone just like you at this very second.<\/p>\n

Clinging to your old sinking ship of a relationship is just keeping them waiting for nothing.
\nThe only thing worse than being alone is being alone with someone else under the same roof<\/p>\n

What do you think they should do? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring \u201cI stay with him because I’m afraid of being alone, but what can I do?\u201d I have gone on record many time before saying that it is better to be alone, then to be with the wrong person. 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