{"id":164,"date":"2011-10-21T03:07:54","date_gmt":"2011-10-21T03:07:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=164"},"modified":"2011-10-21T03:07:54","modified_gmt":"2011-10-21T03:07:54","slug":"how-do-i-get-over-having-been-beaten-by-my-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/how-do-i-get-over-having-been-beaten-by-my-boyfriend.html","title":{"rendered":"“How do I get over having been beaten by my boyfriend….”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
ONE strike and he's *out*<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

*This is a question I answered some time ago, but the answer still applies to some one out there….*<\/em>
\nQuestion submitted via\u00a0Formspring.me<\/a>
\n\u201cHow do I get over the hurt feelings of having been beaten by my boyfriend of 6 years who was my supposed to be my best friend for 11 years???\u201d
\n-batteredfornow<\/p>\n

If he is putting his hands on you: leave him.
\nIt doesn’t matter if he was drunk, or just mad, or didn’t mean it: LEAVE HIM.
\nPack your things and get out. Wait and leave while he’s at work if you have to; go stay with your mom, or a friend, and if he shows up call the cops.
\nDon’t get hung up in giving him more chances, since the statistics say he won’t change and will only get worse.<\/p>\n

Here is Los Angeles there are several\u00a0resources you can use<\/a>\u00a0and shelters you can go to; even if you don’t need a place to stay you can still call them and talk to people who are qualified to talk you through your situation.
\nEven if you don’t live in Los Angeles, 5 minutes on Google will turn up plenty of help in your area.<\/p>\n

As far as him having been your best friend for 11 years…he isn’t your best friend now. If you have a dog who is loyal for 11 years and attacks a group of children in year 11, it still gets put down!<\/p>\n

What you have to realize, is you deserve better.
\nBelieve it or not, you also have to\u00a0forgive him\u00a0for what happened.
\nForgiveness doesn’t mean you are saying what he did is OK (it’s not); forgiveness means you are releasing all the built up hurt and negativity so that you can heal. And also forgive yourself for having been in the situation in the first place; quite often victims can get stuck blaming themselves or feeling like fools for letting it happen. Forgiveness is a gift you are giving to *yourself *, not to him.<\/p>\n

Now, once you are free from the situation (or, if you already are free from it), here are several ways to\u00a0let go of the relationship<\/a>. And even more importantly to\u00a0deal with the painful memories<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0of what happened.
\nOnce you’ve let go of the pain and anger, and the memories don’t hurt anymore either, it will be that much easier to let go of him completely and move on.<\/p>\n

Keep us posted on how it turns out.<\/p>\n

What do you think they should do? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*This is a question I answered some time ago, but the answer still applies to some one out there….* Question submitted via\u00a0Formspring.me \u201cHow do I get over the hurt feelings of having been beaten by my boyfriend of 6 years who was my supposed to be my best friend for 11 years???\u201d -batteredfornow If he…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,35,29,38,46,28,43,45,30],"tags":[4,3,44,34,13,12,36,22,23,24],"class_list":["post-164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","tag-all-about-you","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-hope","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n"How do I get over having been beaten by my boyfriend...." - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/how-do-i-get-over-having-been-beaten-by-my-boyfriend.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""How do I get over having been beaten by my boyfriend...." - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"*This is a question I answered some time ago, but the answer still applies to some one out there….* Question submitted via\u00a0Formspring.me \u201cHow do I get over the hurt feelings of having been beaten by my boyfriend of 6 years who was my supposed to be my best friend for 11 years???\u201d -batteredfornow If he…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/how-do-i-get-over-having-been-beaten-by-my-boyfriend.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-10-21T03:07:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2011\/10\/23e1f938114d4dded3f8c39926788238-219x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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