{"id":1546,"date":"2016-06-13T03:45:46","date_gmt":"2016-06-13T03:45:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?p=1546"},"modified":"2016-06-13T03:45:46","modified_gmt":"2016-06-13T03:45:46","slug":"how-to-make-a-relationship-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/06\/how-to-make-a-relationship-last.html","title":{"rendered":"How to make a relationship last"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"One<\/a>
One day at a time.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Here is a letter a I wrote to someone close to me, on the day of her wedding.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019ve been married for 13 years now, which is no small feat.\u00a0 13, or even 10 years from now, your life will be completely different.\u00a0 You won\u2019t live the same place, you won\u2019t work the same place, you won\u2019t drive the same car, or<\/p>\n

watch the same shows. Look back to where your life was 10 years ago, and you\u2019ll see this is true.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll also probably have a few children by then, too!<\/p>\n

And yet, in the midst of this, you\u2019ll have to find a way to stay together with your husband and stay in sync when the whole world turns around you both.<\/p>\n

Contrary to what we\u2019ve been told, marriage isn\u2019t some lifelong binding contract that you\u2019re just FORCED to endure.\u00a0 It\u2019s also not some iron clad obligation to God, either; plenty of holy people have grown apart, and gone their separate ways.<\/p>\n

So what is marriage, then, and how do you make it work?\u00a0 Marriage is an agreement between the two of you to choose each other.\u00a0 7 Billion people walk this Earth, and you choose each other.\u00a0 And you stay together by *continuing* to choose each other.\u00a0 You will have good times and bad, ups and downs, and changes the likes of which you can\u2019t even begin to imagine (see the above comment about children for starters!).\u00a0 And the only, only, ONLY, way to make it through that sane and happy is to make doing so a conscious choice.\u00a0 To work to make your relationship a conscious effort to keep growing in relation to each other, and always stay in each other\u2019s orbits.<\/p>\n

And really, that\u2019s all there is to it.\u00a0 A conscious willingness to choose each other, to communicate, and to trust, respect, and love each other.\u00a0 Notice, I put love last on that list, since although it\u2019s vital, there are PLENTY of people who love each other, and are TERRIBLE for each other.\u00a0 And you can respect someone you don\u2019t trust, but you can\u2019t trust someone that you don\u2019t respect.\u00a0 Always keep that in mind, and you\u2019ll be all set.<\/p>\n

And last, but certainly not least:<\/p>\n

\u201cLet there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.\u201d
\n\u2015 Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet<\/p>\n

I love you; congratulations, and enjoy this day, and all the days to come.<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Become a supporter of my work:\u00a0http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here is a letter a I wrote to someone close to me, on the day of her wedding. So, I\u2019ve been married for 13 years now, which is no small feat.\u00a0 13, or even 10 years from now, your life will be completely different.\u00a0 You won\u2019t live the same place, you won\u2019t work the same…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108,47,55,80,29,38,31,46,43],"tags":[34,13,12,115,54,11,36,14,23,53,26,25,24],"class_list":["post-1546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-108","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-relationships-2","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to make a relationship last - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/06\/how-to-make-a-relationship-last.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to make a relationship last - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here is a letter a I wrote to someone close to me, on the day of her wedding. So, I\u2019ve been married for 13 years now, which is no small feat.\u00a0 13, or even 10 years from now, your life will be completely different.\u00a0 You won\u2019t live the same place, you won\u2019t work the same…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/06\/how-to-make-a-relationship-last.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-13T03:45:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/files\/2016\/06\/old-couple-holding-hands-on-beach-with-quote2-300x168.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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