{"id":1530,"date":"2016-05-15T00:10:36","date_gmt":"2016-05-15T00:10:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?p=1530"},"modified":"2016-05-15T00:22:01","modified_gmt":"2016-05-15T00:22:01","slug":"mastering-the-mystery-of-motivation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/05\/mastering-the-mystery-of-motivation.html","title":{"rendered":"Mastering the mystery of motivation"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_1531\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1531\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/files\/2016\/05\/Quotefancy-35593-3840x2160.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1531\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2016\/05\/Quotefancy-35593-3840x2160-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Every day is special if you make it special. \" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1531\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Every day is special if you make it special.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cAmateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.\u201d<br \/>\n-Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft<\/p>\n<p>Motivation can often seem like a mystical force that some people just seem to possess in abundance. Or, something\u00a0that can be gained by sitting through a weekend seminar, or a tenth viewing of The Secret. Or worst of all, something you feel the need to wait for, before taking action.<\/p>\n<p>The truth is that it is none of these things.<\/p>\n<p>Motivation is a wonderful state where things come easily, like sailing over smooth waters with the wind at your back. However, you still have to keep sailing even when the sea is choppy and the winds are blowing you all over the place! For the record, it may not sound as exciting but motivation is nowhere near as important as <em>discipline<\/em>. \u00a0Discipline is what makes you get up and do what you need to do, whether or not you &#8216;feel&#8217; like it at the time.<\/p>\n<p>A little while back, on an\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dropbox.com\/s\/fgaf7tijm1hsrc4\/bdavewalters.2014-12-30.210006.mp3?dl=0\" target=\"_blank\">episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, we talked about:<br \/>\nHow to do the things you know you should, and stop doing the ones you know you shouldn&#8217;t!\u00a0 How to change in an instant, and much, much, more!<\/p>\n<p>After I got off the radio, I realized I had more to say so I made a video about why your New Year&#8217;s resolutions haven&#8217;t worked in the past, and how to make them work every year from now on! Although it&#8217;s not New Year&#8217;s currently, the truth is\u00a0<em>every<\/em>\u00a0day of every year is the beginning of a &#8216;new&#8217; year.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"All About You 88 Motivation\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/wast3aSxQTw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>So today, I\u2019d like to give you a few pointers on how to get motivated to do the things you really want to do.\u00a0 Notice what I said there: The things you WANT to do, not the things you <em>should<\/em> do.\u00a0 Since as I pointed out in the video, anything you \u2018should\u2019 do is never going to happen.\u00a0 Everything in your brain is wired to rebel against being forced to do anything.<\/p>\n<p>So, the key is to set your mind on things that pull your forward, rather than push you from behind.\u00a0 Ideally a good goal has a bit of pushing and pulling, the stick and the carrot as it were.\u00a0 For instance, if you have a goal to lose 20 lbs, my first question would be <em>why<\/em> do you want to lose 20 lbs?\u00a0 The number on the scale is meaningless, it only has what power you give to it.<\/p>\n<p>ANYTHING outside of yourself only has what power that you give it.<\/p>\n<p>So maybe you want to lose the weight to fit into a certain outfit for a certain party, or to be ready for beach season.\u00a0 But why does that matter?\u00a0 To turn heads? Why does <em>that<\/em> matter?\u00a0 Keep drilling down until you get to the core of what your motivation is.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll tell you another secret, though: If your ultimate goal is some sort of external approval, you\u2019ll never be satisfied.\u00a0 This is one of the main reasons goals fail: Ultimately it wasn&#8217;t for YOU, but to get someone else\u2019s approval. You don\u2019t need anyone else to accept you, you only need to accept <em>yourself<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>So knowing that, maybe you instead frame it as \u201cI want to lose 20 lbs in the next four months so that I can feel healthy and strong, and I can prove to myself what I\u2019m made of.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to feel like a prisoner in my own body and like I\u2019m forced to hide from the world anymore.\u00a0 I want to be able to step out on the beach and feel proud of all my hard work and everything I&#8217;ve accomplished!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>See the difference?\u00a0 There\u2019s a goal, a deadline, a compelling \u2018why\u2019, AND a focus on how it will <em>feel<\/em> when it\u2019s done.\u00a0 Any goal you set should have this level of richness and detail.\u00a0 And I\u2019d submit that as you look back on the things you&#8217;ve accomplished in your life, you probably had this level of clarity as you worked at it.<\/p>\n<p>Now, let\u2019s say the things you want feel like they are so far away that you can\u2019t even get started.\u00a0 We talked recently about <a title=\"Q&amp;A: \u201cI\u2019m trying to smile, but I\u2019ve hit rock bottom\u2026.\u201d\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2014\/11\/qa-im-trying-to-smile-but-ive-hit-rock-bottom.html\" target=\"_blank\">how to get up when you hit rock bottom<\/a>, but more than that I\u2019d say start with smaller goals.\u00a0 If you are on the edge of being homeless, setting a goal to make a million dollars is the wrong goal; start out with focusing on stabilizing your current situation.<\/p>\n<p>Small, *consistent* progress is what makes the difference.\u00a0 Remember to <a title=\"How to finally attract what you want (VIDEO)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2014\/12\/how-to-finally-change-your-life.html\" target=\"_blank\">do SOMETHING every single day<\/a> towards accomplishing your goal, and victory is guaranteed; and even better, you\u2019ll enjoy the process.<\/p>\n<p>One last thing: If there is some old habit or painful memory holding you back, <a title=\"How to Change in an Instant\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/video\/video.php?v=114916495203848\" target=\"_blank\">this video will help you change it once and for all<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>You are great, and I love you!<br \/>\nAnd if you love me back, click &#8216;share&#8217; up at the top!<\/p>\n<p>B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n<p>Find out more about me:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ask me anything:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Become a supporter of my work:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Pages I support:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jesusnbuddha\" target=\"_blank\">Jesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Gnostic-Theism\/213600055362473\" target=\"_blank\">Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/177682155586539\/\" target=\"_blank\">Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a title=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"icon_64x64\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/08\/icon_64x64.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Twitter.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Facebook.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a title=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_YouTube.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"49\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_MySpace.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/email_button.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"47\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"icon_64x64\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/08\/icon_64x64.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"About.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"aboutme_116x32\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/08\/aboutme_116x32.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"116\" height=\"32\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cAmateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.\u201d -Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft Motivation can often seem like a mystical force that some people just seem to possess in abundance. Or, something\u00a0that can be gained by sitting through a weekend seminar, or&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108,37,47,55,116,35,114,29,81,38,46,88,110,28,112,41,48,30,17],"tags":[4,3,34,13,12,33,11,36,6,14,23,26,25,24,5,42,50,56,7,113],"class_list":["post-1530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-108","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-friends","category-getting-over-it","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-nlp","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-spirituality","category-the-past","category-universal-law","tag-all-about-you","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnosis","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-stress","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mastering the mystery of motivation - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mastering the mystery of motivation - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cAmateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.\u201d -Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft Motivation can often seem like a mystical force that some people just seem to possess in abundance. Or, something\u00a0that can be gained by sitting through a weekend seminar, or&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/05\/mastering-the-mystery-of-motivation.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-15T00:10:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-05-15T00:22:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/files\/2016\/05\/Quotefancy-35593-3840x2160-300x169.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. Dave Walters\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mastering the mystery of motivation - A Reason to Smile","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mastering the mystery of motivation - A Reason to Smile","og_description":"\u201cAmateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.\u201d -Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft Motivation can often seem like a mystical force that some people just seem to possess in abundance. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1530"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1540,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1530\/revisions\/1540"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}