{"id":1504,"date":"2016-01-18T06:14:12","date_gmt":"2016-01-18T06:14:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?p=1504"},"modified":"2016-01-18T06:14:12","modified_gmt":"2016-01-18T06:14:12","slug":"qa-im-struggling-with-online-dating-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2016\/01\/qa-im-struggling-with-online-dating-help.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: I\u2019m struggling with online dating; help!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via About.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a>: <\/strong>
\n\u201cOkay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. Here I am struggling with online dating!<\/p>\n

\"It's<\/a>
It’s time to change the game!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My problem is that I\u2019m not attracting people I am interested in. Maybe it\u2019s the site, or my profile, I\u2019m not sure. Help!\u201d<\/p>\n

Online dating is a wonderful thing, since it removes time and space from the dating equation.\u00a0 In the past, the only way to meet someone was to be in the same place, at the same time, have an attraction, and a chance to interact.\u00a0 Now, thanks to the power of the internet, you can sit back and \u2018custom order\u2019 that special someone.<\/p>\n

However, first and foremost you have to understand how men think<\/a>, and once you understand that, look at who you <\/em>are being in the relationship<\/a>.\u00a0 The reason why this is, is even if you found the right man today, but you don\u2019t understand him or how to relate to him properly, you\u2019ll lose him anyway.\u00a0 So it\u2019s better to look at this as a time to prepare yourself to create the exact kind of relationship you want to have.<\/p>\n

Once you are clear on those things, ask yourself, exactly<\/em> what kind of man are you looking for?\u00a0 Is he tall or short?\u00a0 Very fit and active, or a stay at home type guy?\u00a0 What does he do for a living, or at least what kind of money does he make? If you want to meet a grad student who works at Starbucks, you\u2019ll have to do very different things than what it takes to meet a 45 year old surgeon.<\/p>\n

Once you know the kind of man you are looking for, then you can start to ask yourself if the sites you are on, are the kinds of sites he\u2019ll<\/em> be on.\u00a0 Wealthy men aren\u2019t on PlentyOfFish, and guys looking to settle down aren\u2019t on hookup sites, like Tindr, either.\u00a0 Once you figure out the sites you want to setup profiles on, then you need to look at how you\u2019re presenting yourself.\u00a0 Again, if you want to date a music producer, dressing like a school teacher in your photos is probably not going to catch his attention.\u00a0 By the same token, if you look like a video vixen in all your photos, don\u2019t expect to attract high-end men who value you for your personality.<\/p>\n

If you aren\u2019t sure what to say about yourself in your profile, ,ask your closest friends what they love most about you, and emphasize those things; be sure to ask men what they think, since it\u2019s a man who\u2019s attention you are trying to catch.<\/p>\n

One last, but definitely not least thing: Do not lie about anything in your profile! Don\u2019t say you love \u2018camping, and quiet evenings at home\u2019 if you don\u2019t.\u00a0 Don\u2019t say you are into jogging and going to football games if you aren\u2019t.\u00a0 Your job is to figure out your best mate, and present your best self in a place where he\u2019s likely to see it, and everything else will take care of itself.<\/p>\n

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me: http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything: http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Become a supporter of my work: http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a> — Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a> — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a> — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via About.me\/BDaveWalters: \u201cOkay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. Here I am struggling with online dating! My problem is that I\u2019m not attracting people I am interested in. Maybe it\u2019s the site, or my profile, I\u2019m not sure. Help!\u201d Online dating is a wonderful thing, since…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108,47,55,29,81,38,31,46,41,43,45,30,17],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,115,54,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,32],"class_list":["post-1504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-108","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-universal-law","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-who-are-you"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: I\u2019m struggling with online dating; help! - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: I\u2019m struggling with online dating; help! - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via About.me\/BDaveWalters: \u201cOkay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. 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