{"id":149,"date":"2011-10-16T05:32:04","date_gmt":"2011-10-16T05:32:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=149"},"modified":"2011-10-16T05:32:04","modified_gmt":"2011-10-16T05:32:04","slug":"qa-he-says-he-loves-me-but-hes-not-in-love-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/qa-he-says-he-loves-me-but-hes-not-in-love-with-me.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: He says he loves me, but he’s not ‘in’ love with me…."},"content":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Yeah...that's not good.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cI recently had my boyfriend say to me that he loves me, but he’s not in love with me. What message is he trying to tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The message is nothing good.
\nGuys (and girls) say this when they don’t want to commit to long term.
\nThey may say things like ‘things are moving too fast’, ‘they feel smothered’, or ‘they feel confused’, ‘they don’t know what they want’ or a thousand other excuses.
\nIt may be that he is trying not to hurt you, or is staying for the sex\/physical intimacy; but the bottom line is it means he either
\n1. wants to see other people,
\n2. doesn’t want to see you anymore at all (unfortunately).<\/p>\n

Since he apparently hasn’t broken up with you, it is most likely the first one.
\nEither way, he has one foot out the door, for sure.<\/p>\n

Your choice, then, is to either decide if you are willing to tone things way down, go back to ‘just dating’, seeing other people, etc.; or start preparing yourself for the end of your relationship.
\nStrangely enough, if he says he wants to see other people, don’t be surprised if he starts acting weird when YOU start seeing other people; guys can be strange like that.<\/p>\n

One last piece of advice, though: you CAN NOT nag, guilt, beg or complain him into staying; it will only push him away faster.
\nIf you want him to stay, your only chance is to start trying to catch flies with honey and consciously work to make spending time with you the absolute best thing in his life, and then no other woman can compete.<\/p>\n

It may be a better idea to let him go and start looking for a guy who will both ‘love you’ *and * ‘be in love with you.<\/p>\n

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via formspring: \u201cI recently had my boyfriend say to me that he loves me, but he’s not in love with me. What message is he trying to tell me?\u201d The message is nothing good. Guys (and girls) say this when they don’t want to commit to long term. They may say things like…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47,38,31,43,45],"tags":[3,44,23,24],"class_list":["post-149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-love","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: He says he loves me, but he's not 'in' love with me.... - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2011\/10\/qa-he-says-he-loves-me-but-hes-not-in-love-with-me.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: He says he loves me, but he's not 'in' love with me.... - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via formspring: \u201cI recently had my boyfriend say to me that he loves me, but he’s not in love with me. 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