{"id":1360,"date":"2014-08-03T23:41:37","date_gmt":"2014-08-03T23:41:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?p=1360"},"modified":"2014-08-04T00:38:54","modified_gmt":"2014-08-04T00:38:54","slug":"qa-i-still-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-lifehelp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2014\/08\/qa-i-still-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-lifehelp.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&amp;A: I STILL don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP!"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_1361\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1361\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thethingswesay.com\/i-saw-that-my-life-was-a-vast-glowing-empty-page-and-i-could-do-anything-i-wanted\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1361\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2014\/08\/5499-300x216.jpg\" alt=\"You have all the power!\" width=\"300\" height=\"216\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1361\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">You have all the power!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Question <a title=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\">submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<br \/>\n\u201cHi, I&#8217;ve been reading some of your posts, really interesting and encouraging, I kinda feel better and not that lost but I can&#8217;t stop thinking about what I can do. The thing is that I&#8217;m one more person that doesn&#8217;t know what to do with her life. I&#8217;ve just finished university but the career I studied, I don&#8217;t precisely love it, I&#8217;m just okay with it. Anyway I&#8217;ve become interest in music, learn how to sing and play the guitar, start a band and try my luck but am I allow to dream that high? I mean I don&#8217;t think I have special talents to sing, I also have to see reality right? what if what I want to do is out of my physical possibilities? what should I do? what if i was just not born with the talent some others have? This is my life, I&#8217;m always wanting things that I can&#8217;t achieve cause I&#8217;m just talentless or I&#8217;m thinking the wrong way? I don&#8217;t know how should I&#8217;ve being thinking about this, about wanting to do things in which I&#8217;m not good at, even if I try and try and try&#8230;. Thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Of all the articles I\u2019ve ever written, \u201c<a title=\"Q&amp;A: I don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP!\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/04\/qa-i-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-help.html\" target=\"_blank\">I don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HEL<\/a>P\u201d has always been my most popular; and not a week goes by that I don\u2019t have someone ask me this very thing. \u00a0We even talked about it at length on <a title=\"Rise UP with B. Dave Walters\" href=\"https:\/\/dl.dropboxusercontent.com\/u\/14981816\/bdavewalters.2014-07-29.210009.mp3\" target=\"_blank\">this week\u2019s episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The key to creating anything to you want is to ask yourself a few simple questions:<br \/>\nFirst, what do you <em>not<\/em> want?\u00a0 What in your life would you most like to change, and what about your potential career seems the most unpleasant?\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Maybe you don\u2019t want to work in an office all day, or maybe you don\u2019t want to do any sales work.\u00a0 Maybe you don\u2019t want to have to work for minimum wage, who knows.\u00a0 Take a piece of paper and write it all down.<\/p>\n<p>And I do mean write it down.\u00a0 Understand that if you feel resistance towards doing this one small thing, and you let it stop you, then your chances of creating anything are almost zero.\u00a0 Decide right now that you are done flaking and letting yourself down; today is a new day.<\/p>\n<p>Once you have figured out what you don\u2019t want, then look at what you <em>do<\/em> want.\u00a0 To answer your specific question, what do you want to accomplish by becoming a musician?\u00a0 If you are old enough to have finished University, but don\u2019t know how to sing or play an instrument, chances are music is not your bliss, and it\u2019s just a way to escape the seemingly boring corporate life that lay ahead of you.\u00a0 So what is it that appeals to you about being in a band?\u00a0 Is it expressing yourself?\u00a0 Being in front of a crowd?\u00a0 Or just being \u2018free\u2019?\u00a0 As you make your list of things you do want, focus more on how you want to feel, rather than specific things.<\/p>\n<p>There are several reasons why this is.\u00a0 First and foremost, focusing on feelings is <a title=\"Q&amp;A: \u2018Why didn\u2019t the Law of Attraction work for me?\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/11\/qa-why-didnt-the-law-of-attraction-work-for-me.html\" target=\"_blank\">the foundation of using the Law of Attraction<\/a>.\u00a0 And even more important reason is you shouldn&#8217;t cling too tightly to any particular vision of the future. You may intend to be a famous musician, but God\/The Universe may intend for you to be a famous song writer, actor, teacher, or anything else.\u00a0 Like Buddha said, attachment is the root of all suffering.\u00a0 You can miss out on blessings by focusing exclusively on how you believe things should be.\u00a0 While you need to have a vision for your life, your job is to focus on how you want to feel and WHY you want to feel that way.\u00a0 \u00a0That way you can create what you are trying to be, do, or have, while leaving room to be surprised by what life has in store.<\/p>\n<p>And finally:\u00a0 Make a plan and <em>do it<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, to answer your specific question, no you aren&#8217;t dreaming too big; it is impossible to dream too big.\u00a0 However, be clear on the fact that things take time.\u00a0 Consistency is the key.\u00a0 Do something, SOMETHING, every single day towards creating what you are trying to be, do, or have. You have the same 168 hours a week everyone else has, and with proper planning there really is time for everything. \u00a0It may be doing online research, emailing experts, writing a single sentence, or practicing your skills for 5 minutes.\u00a0 \u00a0If music is interesting, start practicing singing and playing every day right now.\u00a0 Whether or not you go pro, it will enjoy it, and feel better for it. \u00a0Talent is important, but talent without hard work is meaningless; and someone who works hard consistently will beat someone who\u2019s talented but lazy ten out of ten times!<\/p>\n<p>I want to give you a challenge, and I tell you in advance it\u2019s something most people will not take the time to do\u2026but it\u2019s also the exact reason most people fail to get results in their life!\u00a0 Take the time to write down your goals for the next few years: You need at least one 6 month goal, 1 year, 3 year, 5 year, 10 year, and <em>25 year<\/em> goal.\u00a0 It might seem strange to be planning something so far out, but I can tell you for absolutely certain that if you are blessed to live that long the time will feel like it passed in an instant.<\/p>\n<p>And the time will pass whether or not you make the most of it, so resolve now that you are drawing the line, and going to both live out of your intention and live into the life you are trying to create.\u00a0 Since you have a choice, the most important choice any person can make: At what point are you going to decide this is it?\u00a0 At what point are you going to decide you are going to be in control of your life, and make it your work create what you want to be, do, or have?\u00a0 You have to resolve to put 100% of your efforts into becoming who you want to be, or accept that you\u2019re going to live your life on other people\u2019s terms.<\/p>\n<p>And if not now, when? \u00a0And I leave you with one last thought:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo beating yourself up. That\u2019s not allowed. Be patient with yourself. It took you years to form the bad habits of thought that you no longer want.\u00a0 It will take a little time to form new and better ones. But I promise you this: Even a slight move in this direction will bring you some peace. The more effort you apply to it, the faster you\u2019ll find your bliss, but you\u2019ll experience rewards immediately.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2015 Holly Mosier<\/p>\n<p>What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n<p>You are great, and I love you!<br \/>\nAnd if you love me back, click &#8216;share&#8217; up at the top!<\/p>\n<p>B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n<p>Find out more about me:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters\">http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ask me anything:\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters\">http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Become a supporter of my work: \u00a0<a title=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Pages I support:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jesusnbuddha\">Jesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Gnostic-Theism\/213600055362473\">Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/177682155586539\/\">Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0&#8212; A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a title=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/en\/4\/45\/Patreon_logo.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"80\" height=\"79\" \/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Twitter.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BDaveWalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_Facebook.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a title=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_YouTube.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"49\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/www.myspace.com\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/Button_MySpace.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/formspring.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/image3.examiner.com\/images\/blog\/EXID4908\/images\/email_button.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"47\" height=\"48\" \/><\/a><a title=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" href=\"http:\/\/klout.com\/#\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"icon_64x64\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/08\/icon_64x64.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"64\" height=\"64\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"About.me\/BDaveWalters\" href=\"http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"aboutme_116x32\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/304\/2012\/08\/aboutme_116x32.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"116\" height=\"32\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cHi, I&#8217;ve been reading some of your posts, really interesting and encouraging, I kinda feel better and not that lost but I can&#8217;t stop thinking about what I can do. The thing is that I&#8217;m one more person that doesn&#8217;t know what to do with her life. I&#8217;ve just finished university&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100,37,55,39,35,15,93,114,29,38,40,46,88,28,41,49,48,30,17,78],"tags":[3,34,8,13,12,33,11,109,36,6,14,26,25,24,5,42,50,18,7,113,32],"class_list":["post-1360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-100","category-change-2","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-god","category-gratitude","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-law-of-attraction-2","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-peace","category-positive-thinking","category-religion","category-spirituality","category-the-past","category-universal-law","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-buddha","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnosis","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law","tag-who-are-you"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Q&amp;A: I STILL don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP! - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&amp;A: I STILL don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP! - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cHi, I&#8217;ve been reading some of your posts, really interesting and encouraging, I kinda feel better and not that lost but I can&#8217;t stop thinking about what I can do. The thing is that I&#8217;m one more person that doesn&#8217;t know what to do with her life. I&#8217;ve just finished university&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2014\/08\/qa-i-still-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-lifehelp.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-08-03T23:41:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-08-04T00:38:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/files\/2014\/08\/5499-300x216.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. Dave Walters\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Q&amp;A: I STILL don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP! - A Reason to Smile","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Q&amp;A: I STILL don\u2019t know what to do with my life\u2026HELP! - A Reason to Smile","og_description":"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cHi, I&#8217;ve been reading some of your posts, really interesting and encouraging, I kinda feel better and not that lost but I can&#8217;t stop thinking about what I can do. The thing is that I&#8217;m one more person that doesn&#8217;t know what to do with her life. I&#8217;ve just finished university&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2014\/08\/qa-i-still-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-lifehelp.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2014-08-03T23:41:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-08-04T00:38:54+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/files\/2014\/08\/5499-300x216.jpg"}],"author":"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1360"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1360\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1365,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1360\/revisions\/1365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}