{"id":1273,"date":"2013-06-30T01:19:14","date_gmt":"2013-06-30T01:19:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1273"},"modified":"2015-12-02T16:15:35","modified_gmt":"2015-12-02T16:15:35","slug":"qa-can-christian-and-non-christians-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/06\/qa-can-christian-and-non-christians-date.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: Can Christians and non-Christians date?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"It<\/a>
It can work, buuut….<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cCan Christians and non-Christians date? If so is the outcome always one of being non-yoked?\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s possible for a Christian and a non-Christian to date successfully.\u00a0 However, it\u2019s going to take communication and effort\u2026just like any other relationship.<\/p>\n

For instance, if two people get together in the hopes of falling love and getting married, that\u2019s no problem; if two people are just dating, or even just sleeping together, still no problem.\u00a0 But, if one of you wants to get married and the other is just in it for the sex, you are in for problems.\u00a0 Or, as a friend of mine once said: \u201cBe careful you aren\u2019t having sex with someone who\u2019s making love!\u201d<\/p>\n

The same thing is true when it comes to spirituality.\u00a0 If one of you is a former nun who attends sunrise Mass every day, and the other is a raging Atheist, you\u2019re in for trouble.\u00a0 But if one of you is a believer who goes to church once or twice a week, and the other was raised Christian but has drifted out of touch over the years, then things will be a bit easier.<\/p>\n

Like anything, it isn\u2019t necessary to be twins, but you *do* need to have a mutual respect and understanding.\u00a0 For instance, one of you can\u2019t start forcing the other to go to church, nor can you stop the other from going.\u00a0 Are you going to celebrate holidays?\u00a0 If so, which ones?\u00a0 If you have kids, will they be raised as Christians, or not?\u00a0 A common mistake is to believe you\u2019ll let the kids grow up and decide, but that\u2019s actually not possible since they\u2019ll have religious questions LONG before that.\u00a0 Not to mention how confusing it will be when Grandma has crucifixes on the walls, and Grandpa has Menorahs or Qurans in the living room.<\/p>\n

The better question to ask yourself is what are your non-negotiables? What traits or beliefs does your significant other absolutely have to have, or not have in order for you to be happy? Is sharing common beliefs important to you? It certainly is for me.\u00a0 Do you need to have the same political beliefs? \u00a0\u00a0Some people believe in that as much or more than their religions.\u00a0 Do you believe that children should be able to express themselves freely, or do you believe they need strict rules and harsh discipline?<\/p>\n

As always, as long as you have someone you can respect, trust, love, and grow with, who can respect, trust, love, and grow with you\u2026AND you can communicate with each other, your relationship will succeed.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t, it won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cCan Christians and non-Christians date? If so is the outcome always one of being non-yoked?\u201d Yes, it\u2019s possible for a Christian and a non-Christian to date successfully.\u00a0 However, it\u2019s going to take communication and effort\u2026just like any other relationship. For instance, if two people get together in the hopes of falling…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,29,81,38,31,46,43,49,48,45,78],"tags":[3,34,13,12,115,54,11,36,6,14,22,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,50,18,56,7,113],"class_list":["post-1273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-relationships-2","category-religion","category-spirituality","category-tainted-love","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-stress","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: Can Christians and non-Christians date? - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Dating\/Can-Christians-and-Non-Christians-Date.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: Can Christians and non-Christians date? - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cCan Christians and non-Christians date? If so is the outcome always one of being non-yoked?\u201d Yes, it\u2019s possible for a Christian and a non-Christian to date successfully.\u00a0 However, it\u2019s going to take communication and effort\u2026just like any other relationship. For instance, if two people get together in the hopes of falling…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/Love-Family\/Relationships\/Dating\/Can-Christians-and-Non-Christians-Date.aspx\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-30T01:19:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-02T16:15:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2013\/06\/islam-and-christianity-heads-300x183.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. 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