{"id":1188,"date":"2013-01-29T07:40:02","date_gmt":"2013-01-29T07:40:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1188"},"modified":"2013-01-30T08:57:34","modified_gmt":"2013-01-30T08:57:34","slug":"how-to-get-up-when-you-hit-rock-bottom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/how-to-get-up-when-you-hit-rock-bottom.html","title":{"rendered":"How to get up when you hit rock bottom"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Always accept what’s so.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cThe primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.\u00a0 Always say \u201cyes\u201d to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say \u201cyes\u201d to life \u2014 and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.\u201d
\n\u2015 Eckhart Tolle<\/p>\n

Does it every feel like everything is going wrong?\u00a0 Like no matter what you do, or no matter how hard you try, things never seem to go your way?\u00a0 If so, you are not alone.\u00a0 Many, many, people have felt like you feel right now, and the good news is: There is a way out.<\/p>\n

Generally speaking, our challenges fall into one of two categories: Lessons sent to use by God\/The Universe to learn and grow, and situations we create for ourselves, that still give us a chance to learn and grow.\u00a0 Life, above all else, is a school.\u00a0 We get the people and situations we need to learn what we need to learn to continue growing and reach the next level.\u00a0 And we will continue repeating those types of situations until we learn what we are supposed to learn.<\/p>\n

The first thing is, don\u2019t even think of your problems as \u2018problems.\u2019\u00a0 Remember that everything lives in language<\/a>. And this\u00a0isn’t\u00a0vague positive thinking, it is concrete neuroscience.\u00a0\u00a0 The words you use to describe your situation literally<\/em> change how you feel about it.\u00a0 This applies to all your \u2018problems\u2019, obstacles, challenges, hurtles, opportunities, or anything else. Consider, instead of saying \u2018I am so broke,\u2019 you could say \u2018I\u2019d like to make more money.\u2019\u00a0 Or, instead of \u2018I hate my job,\u2019 think \u2018I am ready for a new job that I really enjoy.\u2019<\/p>\n

The next thing you need to ask yourself is: What\u2019s so?\u00a0 What is actually happening?\u00a0 Often times we get upset about things that\u00a0aren’t\u00a0actually taking place; if you find yourself feeling anxious or overwhelmed, chances are you are looking too far into the future and dreaming up new things to fear.\u00a0 Always bring your thoughts back to the present moment, since that\u2019s all that really exists.\u00a0 Once you cut through the mist of fear, and can see things as they really are, you are free to take the actions you\u2019ll need to take to start changing them.\u00a0 Remember, you can worry, OR you can have faith, but not both.\u00a0 Either you trust God\/The Universe to have your back, or you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

So the next question you need to ask yourself is: What can you learn from the situation you find yourself in?\u00a0 And I\u2019ll give you a hint: It\u2019s never something dramatic like \u201cI should never trust people,\u201d or \u201cno one will ever love me.\u201d\u00a0 Instead, maybe the lesson is you should stop picking abusive men who will use you; or clingy women who\u2019ll emotionally manipulate you.\u00a0 If you are having health issues, maybe there are changes you can make to your diet and exercise routine.<\/p>\n

As we said at the beginning, there is another kind of lesson that comes our way.\u00a0 Sometimes what we experience is the total collapse of our previous life, so that a new one can rise in its place, through an experience known as \u2018the dark night of the soul.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0 Trying to cling too tightly to the old way of being will only prolong the process and cause you more and more pain.\u00a0 We talked extensively about how to deal with the dark night of the soul in a recent episode of my radio show Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, along with why you suffer, how to stay positive, how to KNOW you are on the right track, how keep your head up, how to start reinventing yourself, how you know when you’re in love, why age is no big deal, and much, much, more!<\/p>\n

So in conclusion, look at how you are describing things, even in your own mind\u2026especially in your own mind.\u00a0 Then focus on what\u2019s so, the concrete reality of the situation; the present moment is the one and only place where you can use your power to make any real change.\u00a0 And then figure out what the lesson is, since once you learn it, you\u2019ll be able to stop repeating it.\u00a0 Remember, your pain is the cracking of the shell that contains your understanding; hitting bottom only means you can bounce back higher.<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.\u00a0 Always say \u201cyes\u201d to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,35,15,114,29,81,38,40,92,31,46,88,110,28,112,41,48,45,30,17,78],"tags":[3,44,34,8,10,13,69,12,11,109,82,70,36,6,14,22,23,53,26,25,51,24,5,42,50,18,56,7,113,32],"class_list":["post-1188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-god","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-law-of-attraction-2","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-nlp","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-spirituality","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-universal-law","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-buddha","tag-buddhism","tag-change","tag-christianity","tag-emotions","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-grief","tag-guilt","tag-hope","tag-law-of-attraction","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-stress","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law","tag-who-are-you"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to get up when you hit rock bottom - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/how-to-get-up-when-you-hit-rock-bottom.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to get up when you hit rock bottom - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cThe primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.\u00a0 Always say \u201cyes\u201d to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/how-to-get-up-when-you-hit-rock-bottom.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-01-29T07:40:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-01-30T08:57:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2013\/01\/quotes-hard-times-eckhart-tolle-600x411-300x205.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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