{"id":1177,"date":"2013-01-15T05:00:59","date_gmt":"2013-01-15T05:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1177"},"modified":"2013-01-15T05:00:59","modified_gmt":"2013-01-15T05:00:59","slug":"qa-how-can-i-get-another-chance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/qa-how-can-i-get-another-chance.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018How can I get another chance?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
One more chance….<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve made a lot of mistakes, but I am really trying to change.\u00a0 The problem is my family and friends don\u2019t believe it, and keep treating me like the same old me; how do I show them I\u2019m different?\u201d<\/p>\n

All of us have made mistakes, and done things we aren\u2019t proud of.\u00a0 And unfortunately sometimes it\u2019s the people we care about most who get hurt.\u00a0 So, if you are looking for another chance to prove that you\u2019ve changed, what can you do?<\/p>\n

Step one: Actually change!\u00a0 The people who don\u2019t believe you have changed, have probably heard you say you\u2019ve changed before.\u00a0 Or maybe you did try to be different in the past, but slipped back into your old habits.\u00a0 So, if you want them to believe you are different: Actually be different.\u00a0 If you know your temper gets you into trouble, work on controlling it.\u00a0 If you get into fights every time you drink, stop drinking.\u00a0 Don\u2019t try to convince people how different you are, until you actually start *doing* things differently.<\/p>\n

Step two: Forgive yourself for the past.\u00a0 Yes, you may have done some things you aren\u2019t proud of, but they are done<\/em>.\u00a0 All you can do now is learn from it, try to make amends, and work to do better next time.\u00a0 Remember that no matter what you\u2019ve done before now, you can ALWAYS choose to do something differently next time.\u00a0 You don\u2019t *have* to get caught up in the same old patterns, habits, or conflicts.<\/p>\n

Step three: Try to make amends.\u00a0 Apologize for what you\u2019ve done, and if it\u2019s possible to fix what you\u2019ve done, try to.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not possible, try to do something good for someone else, like working with youth to help them avoid making the same mistakes you did.<\/p>\n

One important thing you have to remember, is depending on what\u2019s happened in the past people may not want<\/em> to give you another chance.\u00a0 It may be that they are still too hurt from what\u2019s happened in the past, and trying to push too hard will only make it worse.\u00a0 Remember, the best way to prove you are different is to *be different*.\u00a0 While there\u2019s life, there is hope; the person who won\u2019t talk to you today may feel different a month, or a year, or ten years from now.<\/p>\n

Everything that has happened in the past has brought you to where you are\u2026but where you go next is 100% up to you!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve made a lot of mistakes, but I am really trying to change.\u00a0 The problem is my family and friends don\u2019t believe it, and keep treating me like the same old me; how do I show them I\u2019m different?\u201d All of us have made mistakes, and done things we aren\u2019t proud…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,80,39,116,35,93,114,29,81,38,92,31,46,88,28,112,41,43,45,30,78],"tags":[44,34,13,12,115,54,11,109,82,70,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,42,50,18,56],"class_list":["post-1177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-family","category-fear","category-friends","category-getting-over-it","category-gratitude","category-guilt","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-worry","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-family","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-grief","tag-guilt","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u2018How can I get another chance?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/qa-how-can-i-get-another-chance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u2018How can I get another chance?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve made a lot of mistakes, but I am really trying to change.\u00a0 The problem is my family and friends don\u2019t believe it, and keep treating me like the same old me; how do I show them I\u2019m different?\u201d All of us have made mistakes, and done things we aren\u2019t proud…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2013\/01\/qa-how-can-i-get-another-chance.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-01-15T05:00:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2013\/01\/chance.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. 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