{"id":1171,"date":"2012-12-30T07:43:18","date_gmt":"2012-12-30T07:43:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1171"},"modified":"2012-12-30T07:48:10","modified_gmt":"2012-12-30T07:48:10","slug":"qa-is-being-negative-just-as-good-as-being-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/12\/qa-is-being-negative-just-as-good-as-being-positive.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018Is being negative just as good as being positive?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Which way will you go?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cOne of my friends actually believes being negative is as ok as being positive. He is constantly desolate and sad due to victimizing himself and not trusting anyone. Am I not able to convince him because I am not positive enough?\u201d<\/p>\n

A couple of things: First, it\u00a0isn’t\u00a0up to you to convince your friend of anything; all you have to do is be there for him when he needs you.\u00a0 Of course, how positive you are may have an impact on him, but we\u2019ll come back to that in a minute.<\/p>\n

The other thing is, he doesn\u2019t really<\/em> think that being negative is just as good as being positive; but his life experience has caused him to believe negativity is the safer bet.\u00a0 Since if you always assume the worst, you can never be disappointed, right?<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, that is not the case, since not only does assuming the worst not make the worst any easier to deal with when it arrives, it robs the present of its joy. And of course,\u00a0the Law of Attraction<\/a> teaches us that the more negative emotion we put out into the Universe, the more negativity we\u2019ll attract back to us.<\/p>\n

Chances are extremely <\/em>high that there is some unresolved baggage, issues, and trauma from his past that you may or may not know about that is holding him down.\u00a0 And as long as there are things that he has not forgiven himself or someone else for, it will be difficult for him to be truly happy, since you have to learn how to forgive before you can learn how to trust<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Which brings us back to what you can do for him, and that is this: Be a good example.\u00a0 It\u00a0doesn’t\u00a0matter whether or not you are \u2018positive enough\u2019, since it\u2019s not a competition; it only matters that you are consistent.\u00a0 \u00a0It also\u00a0doesn’t\u00a0matter how many times you watch The Secret or post positive quotes, if you get angry or disappointed when things don\u2019t go your way, because he sees it.\u00a0 If you get all excited about manifesting a new Ferrari one moment, and give up after a week, he sees that, too.<\/p>\n

But above all else, remember there is nothing wrong with him; he\u2019s doing the best he can, just like everyone else<\/a>.\u00a0 He has to do some inner work and start making different choices to get different results, which is something you cannot do for him.\u00a0 Focus on being the best friend that you can, and building the best life that you can and everything else will fall into place.<\/p>\n

P.S.: My holiday promotion has been extended through the end of the year; you can get access to my book, audio programs, PDFs, and coaching service easier than ever before.\u00a0 Visit my website to learn more<\/a>!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha\u00a0<\/a>— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cOne of my friends actually believes being negative is as ok as being positive. He is constantly desolate and sad due to victimizing himself and not trusting anyone. Am I not able to convince him because I am not positive enough?\u201d A couple of things: First, it\u00a0isn’t\u00a0up to you to convince…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,116,93,29,38,40,46,88,110,28,112,41,48,45,30,17,78],"tags":[3,34,13,12,11,109,36,14,22,26,25,24,50,18,7,113],"class_list":["post-1171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-friends","category-gratitude","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-law-of-attraction-2","category-love-yourself","category-mind","category-nlp","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-positive-thinking","category-spirituality","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","category-universal-law","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-god","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-spiritual-but-not-religious","tag-spiritual-coach","tag-the-secret","tag-universal-law"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u2018Is being negative just as good as being positive?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u2018Is being negative just as good as being positive?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cOne of my friends actually believes being negative is as ok as being positive. He is constantly desolate and sad due to victimizing himself and not trusting anyone. Am I not able to convince him because I am not positive enough?\u201d A couple of things: First, it\u00a0isn’t\u00a0up to you to convince…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/12\/qa-is-being-negative-just-as-good-as-being-positive.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-12-30T07:43:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-12-30T07:48:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/12\/5114327_f520-300x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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