{"id":1087,"date":"2012-09-02T02:28:10","date_gmt":"2012-09-02T02:28:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1087"},"modified":"2012-09-02T02:28:10","modified_gmt":"2012-09-02T02:28:10","slug":"qa-how-do-i-stop-being-so-shy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/09\/qa-how-do-i-stop-being-so-shy.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018How do I stop being so shy?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Don’t be afraid to shine!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring:
\n\u201cI am perceived at work as being quiet and unassuming and unresponsive to the social interactions of others in the workplace. What should I about this when there is work to be done?\u201d<\/p>\n

The simple answer is: loosen up a bit!\u00a0 For the more complete answer, let\u2019s break this one into pieces:
\nFirst, you say you are \u2018perceived\u2019 as being quiet, unassuming, and unresponsive, which means you don\u2019t see yourself like that.\u00a0 Second, you mention \u2018social interactions\u2019, which helps give your entire question a rather\u2026robotic vibe.\u00a0 Even still, you didn\u2019t ask what to do about being unresponsive, or how to connect with your fellow human beings, you asked what to do about it so you can get back to work.<\/p>\n

Now to be clear, some people are just private; and you may be one of those people.\u00a0 However, some people are shy to the point of insecurity and have difficulty letting their walls down out of fear that other people will get to close and hurt them.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the insecure people are the first ones to say they are just \u2018private\u2019. \u00a0You also may just be an auditory digital personality type<\/a>, which means emotions don\u2019t come to you very easily, and it\u2019s easy to get stuck inside your own head.<\/p>\n

So, how can you know which one you are?\u00a0 First, like always, look back to your childhood.\u00a0 When you think about your earliest relationships, do they make you happy or sad?\u00a0 Do you remember having wonderful, loving connections with people\u2026or being neglected, rejected, and disappointed?\u00a0 And as always, what was your relationship with your parents like, and what was their relationship with each other like? We talked very recently about how to break this cycle<\/a>, so if this sounds like you that article is a good place to start.<\/p>\n

For now, there is something very important that you need to remember: business is a team sport.\u00a0 You can be the absolute best worker in the world, but if you are no fun to be around they\u2019ll replace you with someone who is.\u00a0 Even as you work to resolve some of the issues from the past that have held you back, it doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll instantly become the life of the party, and that\u2019s ok.\u00a0 If you hear people around you joking, even if you don\u2019t want to get involved just look up and smile. \u00a0Or, if you hear them mention a movie, or TV show, or book you like, say so.\u00a0 Or, if work is truly all you care about, anytime you see someone do a good job on something, tell them.<\/p>\n

If you want to know the secret to getting people to like you, here it is: always be the person who makes people feel better about them<\/em>.\u00a0 You may not become talkative, or a big joker; but the more you can do to show your appreciate for the people around you, the more they\u2019ll appreciate you back.<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI am perceived at work as being quiet and unassuming and unresponsive to the social interactions of others in the workplace. 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