{"id":1073,"date":"2012-08-19T05:24:26","date_gmt":"2012-08-19T05:24:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1073"},"modified":"2012-08-19T05:24:26","modified_gmt":"2012-08-19T05:24:26","slug":"q-should-i-confront-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/q-should-i-confront-him.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018He has stopped responding; should I confront him?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Let it go….<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\nI had this date with a guy nearly a month ago, there were hints that he likes me, and he said he would like to see me again.\u00a0\u00a0 He also said that he would like to cook for me and stuff; but now he barely answers my emails. He has exams at the moment, but should I confront him?\u201d<\/p>\n

The short answer is, no: don\u2019t confront him.\u00a0 After a month of dating, \u2018confront\u2019 shouldn\u2019t be anywhere in your vocabulary.\u00a0 Part two of the short answer is: Move on, it\u2019s not going to work out.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s look at this in more detail: You had a date a month ago\u2026\u2019A\u2019 date.\u00a0 There were hints that he liked you (what hints?)\u00a0 He said he\u2019d like to see you again, which seems to be a good sign; he also said he\u2019d like to cook for you.\u00a0 But, now he \u2018barely answered your emails\u2019\u2026define barely? How often do you email him, and how often does he reply?\u00a0 Does he reply to every message, but take longer than you want him to?\u00a0 Finally, you know for sure that he\u2019s got exams\u2026but you want to confront him about it, anyway?<\/p>\n

Think about that for a moment.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a month\u2026a month isn\u2019t a lot of time; and you only went out one<\/em> date. \u00a0One date isn\u2019t a very firm foundation to be building any sort of expectations on.\u00a0 And as you said, he IS replying to you, but not as often as you\u2019d like, and you also know that he\u2019s busy with classes.<\/p>\n

And yet, I said you should move on; why? Because, one of two things is happening: Either he\u2019s not that into you, and doesn\u2019t know how to tell you; or, you are looking something from this relationship that he can\u2019t give you.\u00a0 Either one ends up in the same place: nowhere.<\/p>\n

You should also take this time to work on loving yourself first<\/a>.\u00a0 If you have an unshakeable foundation of love and acceptance of yourself, you\u2019ll be able to be cooler and more patient in relationships, and not necessarily cling so tightly to a guy so quickly.<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: I had this date with a guy nearly a month ago, there were hints that he likes me, and he said he would like to see me again.\u00a0\u00a0 He also said that he would like to cook for me and stuff; but now he barely answers my emails. He has exams…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,81,38,92,31,46,28,112,43,45,78],"tags":[3,44,34,13,12,54,11,82,36,14,22,23,26,25,51,24,42,32],"class_list":["post-1073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-pessimism","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-worry","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-grief","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-los-angeles","tag-love","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-self-talk","tag-who-are-you"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u2018He has stopped responding; should I confront him?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u2018He has stopped responding; should I confront him?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: I had this date with a guy nearly a month ago, there were hints that he likes me, and he said he would like to see me again.\u00a0\u00a0 He also said that he would like to cook for me and stuff; but now he barely answers my emails. 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