{"id":1060,"date":"2012-08-12T06:43:02","date_gmt":"2012-08-12T06:43:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1060"},"modified":"2012-08-12T06:43:02","modified_gmt":"2012-08-12T06:43:02","slug":"qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Hopefully he won’t make it to 40!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cI’m a 27 years old guy and have never dated and never had a girlfriend. I have been attracted to different girls throughout the years but when I expressed my interest to them they have always rejected me. I’m now wandering what is it with me? Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

We talked about this in a recent episode of\u00a0Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, along with: How to be happy *right now*. Plus, getting over being cheated on, if Jesus studied Buddhism, how to find love, and more!<\/p>\n

For now, let us break this one down into pieces:
\nYou are 27, but never dated and never had a girlfriend; we will assume that means you are a virgin, too. You\u2019ve been attracted to girls, but got shot down every time you\u2019ve tried; now you are wondering what the problem is.<\/p>\n

Based on the fact that you didn\u2019t mention any glaring personal defect, like being really short, or massively overweight, let us assume this means you are a relatively average guy. That means that your problem is almost certainly in your approach.<\/p>\n

The first thing you need to\u00a0understand is how women think<\/a>. Most guys who fail on the approach do so out of insecurity; if you are too direct, or too indirect; too sexual, or not sexual enough, you\u2019ll get nowhere. Add to that that each individual lady has her own turn on and turn offs, and the wrong move can get you friendzoned with the quickness.<\/p>\n

Knowing that, you need to work on not figuring out what\u2019s wrong with you now, so much as\u00a0figuring out who your ideal woman is, who it is that she wants, and turning yourself into that<\/a>. For now, here are a few things you can do.\u00a0 First and foremost: If there is a woman that you are attracted to, listen to her.\u00a0 She will tell you everything you need to know, up to and including if you have a chance or not.\u00a0 Find out what she likes, what she doesn\u2019t like, and most importantly: What she looks for in a man. You don\u2019t necessarily have to ask directly, since it might make her uncomfortable; but if you listen to her talk about her ex-boyfriends, or even who she finds attractive, and that will give you a clue.<\/p>\n

And above all else: respect her, and respect yourself. You never go wrong with being a gentleman, and treating a lady like a lady.\u00a0 Humor is good, as is intelligence; but the most attractive thing a man can have is CONFIDENCE. Rather than focus on your shortcomings, spend some time looking at everything you have going for you now, and everything you\u2019ve achieved up until this point.\u00a0 If you aren\u2019t proud of what you\u2019ve done so far, set some goals and get after them; the more confident you become in who and what you are, the more that it will begin to shine through.<\/p>\n

100 million years of evolution have equipped women with a desire to have the best mate possible (however she conceives of it, of course); and she won\u2019t believe you are the best if you don\u2019t!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:\u00a0http:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me anything:\u00a0http:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m a 27 years old guy and have never dated and never had a girlfriend. I have been attracted to different girls throughout the years but when I expressed my interest to them they have always rejected me. I’m now wandering what is it with me? Thanks.\u201d We talked about this in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,81,38,31,46,28,41,43,45,30],"tags":[3,34,13,12,54,11,36,14,23,53,26,25,51,24,5,42,56],"class_list":["post-1060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-healing","category-hope-inspiration","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-positive-thinking","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","category-the-past","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breakthroughs","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-getting-married","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-hope","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up","tag-self-talk","tag-stress"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m a 27 years old guy and have never dated and never had a girlfriend. I have been attracted to different girls throughout the years but when I expressed my interest to them they have always rejected me. I’m now wandering what is it with me? Thanks.\u201d We talked about this in…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-12T06:43:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/08\/40-year-old-virgin.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. Dave Walters\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin - A Reason to Smile","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin - A Reason to Smile","og_description":"Question\u00a0submitted via Formspring: \u201cI’m a 27 years old guy and have never dated and never had a girlfriend. I have been attracted to different girls throughout the years but when I expressed my interest to them they have always rejected me. I’m now wandering what is it with me? Thanks.\u201d We talked about this in…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html","og_site_name":"A Reason to Smile","article_published_time":"2012-08-12T06:43:02+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/08\/40-year-old-virgin.jpg"}],"author":"B. Dave Walters","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html","name":"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin - A Reason to Smile","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/08\/40-year-old-virgin.jpg","datePublished":"2012-08-12T06:43:02+00:00","dateModified":"2012-08-12T06:43:02+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/08\/40-year-old-virgin.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/08\/40-year-old-virgin.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/08\/qa-dating-advice-for-a-27-year-old-virgin.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Q&A: Dating advice for a 27-year-old virgin"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/","name":"A Reason to Smile","description":"Beliefnet Voices - B. Dave Walters","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/#\/schema\/person\/bcf42d892eff535aad3a062b7d9534c9","name":"B. Dave Walters","description":"B. Dave Walters is like a mix between Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, and the Old Spice Guy. He is the winner of the \"Be the Next Beleifnet Featured Blogger\" contest for Beliefnet.com in the Hope & Inspiration category. He is also the host of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters on Party 93.4 FM out of Hudson Valley, New York, as well as a nationally syndicated columnist on the topics of spirituality and relationships for the Examiner.com. He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. He lives in Burbank, California with his wife and two daughters.","sameAs":["http:\/\/about.me\/bdavewalters"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/author\/dwalters"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1060"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1072,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions\/1072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}