{"id":1036,"date":"2012-07-14T07:02:55","date_gmt":"2012-07-14T07:02:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1036"},"modified":"2012-07-14T07:02:55","modified_gmt":"2012-07-14T07:02:55","slug":"q-should-i-move-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/07\/q-should-i-move-on.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018He says he wants space; should I move on?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
If he wants his space…give it to him.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:
\n\u201cI\u2019ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since January. \u00a0\u00a0We don\u2019t talk much, and I\u2019ve only seen him on his birthday in the last three months, and I had to meet him half way.\u00a0 \u00a0He says he needs space, because he is overwhelmed with his 70 hour work week, and trouble with his 12 year old son.\u00a0 He says there is no one else\u2026should I move on?\u201d<\/p>\n

We talked about this one at length in a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters<\/a>, along with:
\nAngels and Spirit Guides!\u00a0 Whether or not ghosts are real, how to deal with things that upset you, how to stop running from love, how to stop picking jerks, how to forgive, and much, much, more!<\/p>\n

For now, let us break this one down into pieces:
\nYou’ve\u00a0been in a long distance relationship for six months (January to July).
\nOut of those six months, you\u2019ve seen him once in the last three, and you had to go meet him.
\nHe works 70 hour weeks, and apparently has a troublesome 12 year old.
\nHe is asking for space, and you are wondering if you should move on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The simple answer is: yes, yes you should move on.
\nThe more complete answer is for whatever<\/em> reason, he is not making you a priority in his life.\u00a0 As we\u2019ve talked about before, if you can\u2019t communicate, you don\u2019t have a relationship<\/a>; this is especially true in long distance relationships<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0 You have seen him once, for 50% of your relationship; not to mention the fact that you don\u2019t talk often.\u00a0 \u00a0Add to that, a 70 hour work week, and unless he is planning on switching jobs soon, you won\u2019t be talking any more in the near future.<\/p>\n

And then, there is the question of his \u2018troublesome\u2019 12 year old son; another issue that isn\u2019t going to be going away any time soon.\u00a0 \u00a0But, here is the number one reason why your relationship is over: he told you it is. \u00a0\u201cI need space,\u201d is guy code for \u201cI want to break up.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes it might mean I want to see someone else, and decide if I like them more than you, or something like that; but it NEVER means anything good.\u00a0 The distance, combined with his work, combined with his son, combined with the fact that you are not only first on his list, you are third or fourth, all equals one thing: move on.<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since January. \u00a0\u00a0We don\u2019t talk much, and I\u2019ve only seen him on his birthday in the last three months, and I had to meet him half way.\u00a0 \u00a0He says he needs space, because he is overwhelmed with his 70 hour work…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":450,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,47,55,39,35,29,38,92,31,46,28,43,45],"tags":[3,44,13,12,11,14,23,26,25,51,24,5],"class_list":["post-1036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change-2","category-communication","category-emotions-2","category-fear","category-getting-over-it","category-happiness","category-hope-inspiration","category-loss","category-love-2","category-love-yourself","category-peace","category-relationships-2","category-tainted-love","tag-b-dave-walters","tag-breaking-up","tag-change","tag-emotions","tag-gnostic-theism","tag-life-coach","tag-love","tag-peacelovemoney-com","tag-psychology","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-rise-up"],"yoast_head":"\nQ&A: \u2018He says he wants space; should I move on?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/07\/q-should-i-move-on.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Q&A: \u2018He says he wants space; should I move on?\u2019 - A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question submitted via Formspring: \u201cI\u2019ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since January. \u00a0\u00a0We don\u2019t talk much, and I\u2019ve only seen him on his birthday in the last three months, and I had to meet him half way.\u00a0 \u00a0He says he needs space, because he is overwhelmed with his 70 hour work…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/07\/q-should-i-move-on.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Reason to Smile\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-14T07:02:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/files\/2012\/07\/when-men-become-distant-Mobile-240x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"B. 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He is the author of one book, \"49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money\". For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire. While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles. Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus. In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world. He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today. 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