{"id":1000,"date":"2012-05-29T06:04:50","date_gmt":"2012-05-29T06:04:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/areasontosmile\/?p=1000"},"modified":"2012-05-29T06:04:50","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T06:04:50","slug":"qa-should-i-still-talk-to-my-ex-for-the-sake-of-the-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/areasontosmile\/2012\/05\/qa-should-i-still-talk-to-my-ex-for-the-sake-of-the-kids.html","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: \u2018Should I still talk to my ex for the sake of the kids?\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Do it for her!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Question submitted via Formspring<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I really need to communicate to my ex-husband for sake of my daughter? The problem is I am the one who always makes the first move, which is annoying me; so I decided to stop.
\nIs this the right thing to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The simple answer is: yes, you should keep communicating with him, and no, ignoring him is not the right move.<\/p>\n

The more complex answer is, nothing is more destructive to a child than having parents in conflict with one another; and \u201cdaddy issues<\/a>\u201d can be especially destructive for little girls.\u00a0 The most important thing is that you should never<\/em> get her stuck in the middle; never stoop to bad mouthing each other in front of her, since it\u2019s in her nature to love you both.\u00a0 \u00a0As long as both parents are alive and even remotely willing to still be a part of the child\u2019s life, then you both absolutely should.<\/p>\n

The main thing to remember, and to remind him if need be, is though you may no longer be married, you will always be her parents; both of you. \u00a0\u00a0That means you both have a say in her life, and what\u2019s right for her; and God willing will both be there when she gets married and has a family of her own some day.<\/p>\n

Your job as a parent is to do everything you can to protect your child\u2019s physical and emotional well being; in most cases, this means making sure both parents are involved.\u00a0 There is only one situation where this doesn\u2019t apply, and that is if the other parent is potentially abusive; be it physical, emotional, or even verbal abuse.<\/p>\n

If for whatever reason you end up being a truly single parent, make sure you provide lots of positive role models of the opposite sex.\u00a0 \u00a0Our parents teach us how to be a man or a woman, and more importantly how men and women are supposed to interact.\u00a0 Work to create as good a partnership with your ex as you can, since whatever your daughter grows up seeing is what she will create for herself in her own relationships.<\/p>\n

While it may be \u2018annoying\u2019 to have to initiate contact, the fact of the matter is it\u2019s not for you; it\u2019s for her.\u00a0 More importantly, you once thought highly enough of this man to marry him and bear his child; a phone call or text message shouldn\u2019t be so hard to do!<\/p>\n

You are great, and I love you!
\nAnd if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!<\/p>\n

B. Dave Walters
\nWriter, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host<\/p>\n

Find out more about me:
\nhttp:\/\/about.me\/BDaveWalter<\/a>s<\/p>\n

Ask me anything:
\nhttp:\/\/formspring.me\/BDaveWalters<\/a><\/p>\n

Pages I support:
\nJesus and Buddha<\/a>\u00a0— Interfaith dialog<\/p>\n

Gnostic Theism<\/a>\u00a0— Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)<\/p>\n

Love One Another<\/a>\u00a0— A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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