{"id":768,"date":"2011-02-08T14:22:29","date_gmt":"2011-02-08T14:22:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/apagansblog\/2011\/02\/reply-to-randi-on-suffering-and-life.html"},"modified":"2011-02-08T14:22:29","modified_gmt":"2011-02-08T14:22:29","slug":"reply-to-randi-on-suffering-and-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/apagansblog\/2011\/02\/reply-to-randi-on-suffering-and-life.html","title":{"rendered":"Reply to Randi on suffering and life"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post repeats my reply to Randi’s comment <\/a>on my “Abortion, Slavery and Women” post.  It does not deal with abortion because she raised more important issues.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
With clarifying revisions here and there added at 9:20 PST. More cleaning up of typos on Wednesday<\/b><\/div>\n<\/div>\n


\n<\/p>\n


\n
\n<\/font><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Dear Randi-\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope my
\nPagan perspective can help you make more sense and find more meaning in the
\npain you have experienced.<\/span><\/p>\n

My first Pagan spiritual
\nexperience was of the Wiccan Goddess, over 25 years ago. It was an encounter
\nwith pure unconditional love, among Her other qualities. On the very few
\noccasions I have again had such encounters, that love was always present. Her
\nlove raises the question of why this world is such a loveless and often nasty
\nplace? If spiritual reality is loving, why is this world so far from that? Many
\npeople of many religions have lost their beliefs over this question. It is one
\nof the big ones in human life.<\/span><\/p>\n

For me at a personal
\nlevel the past few years have been filled with plenty of despair, both for
\npowerful very personal reasons, and because of the seemingly inexorable slide
\nof the US into the complete repudiation of everything that made it worthwhile
\n(in my view). To top it off, there is the brutal mindless greed that is
\ndestroying the wild world I love with all my heart, particularly but hardly
\nconfined to global warming. I often wonder how I can be of the same species as
\nthe radical right, with its embracing of lies, ignorance, self-righteousness
\nand hate or of the sociopathy of parasitical CEOs and equally bad politicians.<\/span><\/p>\n

How do I see these two
\nrealities, spirit and the terrible mundane, interacting?<\/span><\/p>\n

The first and for me
\nmost important point is that when I have encountered Pagan deities (and not
\njust me on this point) their presence is somehow MORE REAL than the world around
\nme.<\/b><\/span> This is a very important point
\nI do not know how to demonstrate to those who have not experienced them. (Nor do
\nI not now why everyone has not experienced them or similar beings in other
\nreligious traditions>) But here’s a try.<\/span><\/p>\n

I imagine there are times
\nwhen you have been at peace, probably surrounded by natural beauty, and somehow
\nthat has seemed more real than the human cesspit you describe so powerfully.
\nThat is why so many of us like to get out into Nature to get things “in
\nperspective.” Certainly wild nature kept me relatively sane for many years as I
\ngrew up. I think forms of love can do this as well, but that word is so full of
\nbaggage I don’t want to go there now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So following from my
\nfirst point: from my Pagan perspective reality exists in degrees of intensity,
\nof reality, and that spiritual reality is more real than mundane daily reality.<\/span><\/p>\n

But even so, why the
\nomnipresent suffering? <\/b><\/span>If ultimate
\nreality is so good, why are we in this one? This is a question of ultimate
\nmystery that wise people have pondered perhaps ever since there were wise
\npeople to ponder. Here is the answer that makes the most sense for me right
\nnow, when all I love seems possibly doomed in the near future because of
\nwillful ignorance, hardness of heart, and poisonous bile.<\/span><\/p>\n

We come into this world
\nradically ignorant, and the influences around us combined
\nwith whatever genetic and karmic traits we arrive with <\/span>shape who we are.  This process leads inevitably
\nto things going wrong.\u2028 When we are ignorant we make mistakes, and when we make
\nmistakes regarding others we can misinterpret their motives. I imagine you have
\nhad happen to you what has happened to me: getting angry at someone based on a
\nmisunderstanding. When the misunderstanding is relieved, my anger dissipates,
\noften into embarrassment.<\/p>\n

But if I had not learned
\nthe truth, and had lashed out against the other person, they would have formed
\na wrong opinion as to who I was and what motivated me. We might have then
\nratcheted up our mutual hostility to ever higher levels, each seeing the other’s
\nactions as proving their fears, without either of us ever knowing the source of
\nthat hostility was a misunderstanding. Great evil can thereby arise out of
\npeople who are foolish and\/or ignorant, but not evil. No devil is needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Children in particular
\nare vulnerable to this process because they know little of human beings or life and see the adults around them as
\ntrusted authority figures – or as feared ones.  They lack the understanding to know
\nwhy adults do or seem to do the things they do that are hurtful to them.  Often they internalize their understandings and misunderstandings as deep levels. We accept as
\ntrue things that are far from it, and because we accept it at such early stage
\nin becoming who we are, our misunderstandings subtly and not so subtly color everything
\nthat happens later. And so we all carry scars next to our core that hinder and
\nchallenge and hurt us all our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

In other words, these
\nhurts and injuries are unavoidable, and they happen to everyone.  Even to Dick
\nCheney.  He was once a little boy with loves and dreams and an open heart.  We need to remember that even as we also need to remember what he is now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So your rapist father
\nwas once a baby, once a little boy, once ran crying to his mother for safety,
\nand so on. Over time he was poisoned by things that happened to him, the
\nignorant interpretations he put on the things that happened to him, and so on
\nand on. Fear and anger came to live close to his core.  Then he acted poisonously and brutally to another, and in so doing
\npoisoned the life of his daughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

It goes on and on.<\/span><\/p>\n

The most profound truth
\nin Christianity – I would argue its defining gift to humanity – (a gift
\nChristians mostly fail to practice) is to emphasize the importance of genuine
\nforgiveness because that is perhaps the best way to detach from the stream of
\npoison. Of course one needn’t be a Christian to practice this.<\/span><\/p>\n

With that let me tell
\nyou the true story of Hal<\/b><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hal is an Ethiopian
\nfriend of mine who had been imprisoned and tortured and brutalized almost daily
\nfor years by the Mengistu Communist regime. When I met him he was a warm, good
\nhumored, kind, and truly wonderful human being. He had no religion to my
\nknowledge. As we got to know one another, he finally told me his story, and it
\nwas the kind of story that books and movies are made from.<\/span><\/p>\n

He said that after the
\nCommunists were overthrown his jailers were in jail, and many of their former
\nprisoners were in power. He knew the new Minister of Justice, and one day when
\ntalking together, the Minister asked him whether there was anything he could do
\nfor him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, my friend said, let
\nme see the person who informed on me, and also my jailers and torturers, who
\nwere now in prison.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was arranged.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Hal confronted them
\nthey often burst into tears, begged for mercy, or made excuses (for some of
\nthem had been in positions where they either played along with the Communists or
\nthey or their families would suffer). No matter what they said and no matter
\nwhat they had done, Hal said he forgave them. And he meant it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I exclaimed at how
\nspiritually amazing it was that he could do that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hal replied that he was
\nnot religious, he did not do it for them, he did it for himself. It was how he
\nfreed himself from them and the poison those years of brutal incarceration had
\npoured into his being. It was how he healed. And it worked.<\/span><\/p>\n

My point in telling this
\nstory is to say that I think our lives, all of them, whatever else they may
\nbe – and I think more is going on that just this – are opportunities to grow in
\nopenness of heart, in love, and in kindness. But to do so we need opposition, so that
\nwhat emerges from us is strong. Life is a kind of boot camp of obstacles, a boot camp of the soul, and the
\nwounds we inevitably acquire give us something to help us grow stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n

I do not presume to say
\nwhat I have written does the matter of suffering by innocents full justice. Life is mystery.
\nBut it makes sense of key parts of my spiritual experiences as well as of the
\nmore mundane and hurtful parts of my own existence. And believe me, there is pain a plenty for me, and likely for us all.<\/span><\/p>\n

What is the point of
\nsuch a world?<\/span><\/p>\n

Here we all have to find
\nour own personal best guess. Even our guesses shape who we are.  <\/span><\/p>\n

Mine is that what is the core of every human
\nbeing is harmonious with the Goddess’s quality of perfect love. That is what is
\nmost real in us, the seed that can take shape and grow. When our time comes that part of who we are that is compatible with
\nthat ultimate reality passes on, and that part that is not is dropped away because it is not really real.
\nSome of us bring a lot with us into the next existence, wherever and whatever
\nit might be, and some don’t bring very much at all. Then perhaps the process
\nbegins again, in this world or somewhere else.<\/span><\/p>\n

It seems
\nto me the only way a world of duality that brings forth human beings can be
\nredeemed is that it grows wise and loving souls. I can think of nothing else that would redeem the pain of human existence.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I am anywhere at all
\nclose to the truth, the best thing you can do for yourself is forgive your
\nfather – not excuse him, not deny what he did nor make it into something
\ntrivial, but like Hal with his torturers, forgive him and in the process free yourself from
\nhim. As it is, every time you look into the mirror, when you see his face in yours <\/span>the poison in your life is reinjected. Look into the mirror and think of who he was before he was
\npoisoned, the potentials unrealized, the good qualities that were never exhibited
\nor brought to fruition.<\/p>\n

There is a second
\ndimension to all this.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

I think it is very
\nimportant that we work to improve the situations where we have influence,
\nwhether it be our circle of friends, our family, or a wider realm of influence.
\nEvery way of life that is compatible with caring could exist in a good world.
\nMuslim, Christian, Pagan, atheist – it does not matter. What matters is the
\nquality of relationships. Wherever we are situated, we can do something to
\nimprove it, to make that quality better.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think we carve out new
\npotentialities for perfection when we develop and explore the world into which we are born, even
\nthough this society will not be perfected in this world, ever. Some ways of life succeed better than
\nothers in this world, and some are only a small promise, a dream.  That is why we have no guarantees for success even in the
\nshort run. <\/span><\/p>\n

But in this world all successes are short run unless other people carry them farther, and so far that has been unlikely.  I am impressed that everything, even what seems best at the moment, eventually
\ndeclines and passes on. This is our Wheel of the Year.  My understanding of Paganism depends on seeing the sacredness of the entire cycle.  <\/span><\/p>\n

Because ignorance is
\nsuch a central feature of our existence, this world may be a womb for birthing new
\nrealities. Achieving perfection would bring that process to a stop. Screwing up gives birth to possibilities for new visions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps we ultimately end up in the
\n“vibrational level” we have created for ourselves in our lives, and if that
\ninvolves creating caring friendships, love relationships, and the like, they
\ndevelop further while this world goes on spinning out new possibilities.<\/span><\/p>\n

So it is very important
\nto work for a better, more caring, more just world – so long as we do so in a
\ncaring and merciful way. Here is a point where every religion worthy of the
\nname can come together, as well as every decent person.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is any of this true? I
\nhave no idea. <\/b>The reason these thoughts are sources of succor for me in these
\ndark times is that such visions are compatible with the spiritual experiences I
\nhave had as well as with the world and life I experience. They take the best and the worst, and redeem the latter without denying their pain and suffering. Without denying that these are misfortunes and that good and wise people had best seek to help others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think that the WORST that spiritual reality can pull off is at least equal to the BEST of what I am capable
\nof conceptualizing. And since this is my best, if this is the worst, at the deepest level I do not
\ndespair when I take the time (which I do not always do) to put everything in
\nits largest context.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\n<\/font><\/p>\n

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This post repeats my reply to Randi’s comment on my “Abortion, Slavery and Women” post.  It does not deal with abortion because she raised more important issues. With clarifying revisions here and there added at 9:20 PST. 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