{"id":23,"date":"2008-05-10T16:47:17","date_gmt":"2008-05-10T16:47:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html"},"modified":"2008-05-10T16:47:17","modified_gmt":"2008-05-10T16:47:17","slug":"this-one-really-touched-my-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html","title":{"rendered":"This one really touched my heart"},"content":{"rendered":"

A friend of mine sent me this article a number of years ago. I did some research and Father John Powell did write this story. So I give thanks to him and to Tommy. It is a wonderful reminder that seekers seldom find, it is by opening our heart and allowing love to be our guide that the magic of life happens.
\n\"hands<\/a>
\nThis photo is of a heart rattle given to me by Georgia, who also took the picture.
\nRaw Elements Photography<\/a>
\nJohn Powell, a retired professor at Loyola University writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy.
\nSome twelve years ago, I stood watching my students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the first day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.
\nIt was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind it isn\u2019t what\u2019s on your head but what\u2019s in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under “S” for strange\u2014very strange.
\nTommy turned out to be the atheist in residence in my Theology of Faith class. He constantly objected to, smirked at or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father\/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.
\nWhen he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone, “Do you think I\u2019ll ever find God?”
\nI decided instantly on a little shock therapy. “No!” I said very emphatically.
\n“Oh,” he responded, “I thought that was the product you were pushing.”
\nI let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, “Tommy! I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!” He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.
\nI felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line, “He will find you!” At least I thought it was clever.
\nLater I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report. I heard Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me.
\nWhen he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted, and the long hair had fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice firm for the first time, I believe. “Tommy, I\u2019ve thought about you so often. I hear you are sick,” I blurted out.
\n“Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It\u2019s a matter of weeks.”
\n“Can you talk about it, Tom?” I asked.
\n“Sure, what would you like to know?” “What\u2019s it like to be twenty-four and dying?”
\n“Well, it could be worse” he replied.
\n“Like what?”
\n“Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women and making money are the real \u2018biggies\u2019 in life.”
\nI began to look through my mental file cabinet under “S” where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)
\n“But what I really came to see you about,” Tom said, “is something you said to me on the last day of class.” (He remembered!) He continued, “I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, \u2018No!\u2019 which surprised me. Then you said, \u2018But He will find you.\u2019 I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.” (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)
\n“But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me it was malignant, that\u2019s when I got serious about locating God. When the malignancy spread into vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. Then you quit. Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may or may not be there, I just quit. I decided I didn\u2019t really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable.
\n“I thought about you and your class and remembered something else you said: \u2018The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.\u2019
\n“So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper at the time when I approached him. \u2018Dad. “Yes, what?” he asked without lowering the newspaper. \u2018Dad, I would like to talk with you.\u2019 “Well, talk.” \u2018I mean it\u2019s really important.\u2019 The newspaper came down three slow inches. “What is it?” \u2018Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that.\u2019
\n“Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside.
\n“The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me.
\n“It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me and we hugged each other and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared things we had been keeping secret for so many years. I was only sorry about one thing; that I waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to the people I had actually been close to.
\n“Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn\u2019t come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, \u2018C\u2019mon, jump through. C\u2019mon, I\u2019ll give you three days, three weeks.\u2019
\n“Apparently God does things in his own way and at his own hour. But the important thing is that he was there. He found me. You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for him.”
\n“Tommy,” I practically gasped, “I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying the surest way to find God is not to make him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said, \u2018God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.\u2019 Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it up to me now. Would you come to my Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn\u2019t be half as effective as if you were to tell them.”
\n“Ooh, I was ready for you, but I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m ready for your class.”
\n“Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call.”
\nIn a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it.
\nHe had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class.
\nOf course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.
\nBefore he died, we talked one last time. “I\u2019m not going to make it to your class,” he said.
\n“I know, Tom.”
\n“Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?”
\n“I will, Tom. I\u2019ll tell them. I\u2019ll do my very best.”
\nSo, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple statement about love, thank you. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven, I told them, Tommy, as best I could.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A friend of mine sent me this article a number of years ago. I did some research and Father John Powell did write this story. So I give thanks to him and to Tommy. It is a wonderful reminder that seekers seldom find, it is by opening our heart and allowing love to be our…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1,21,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","category-joy","category-miracles","category-spiritual-guidance"],"yoast_head":"\nThis one really touched my heart - Angels on Your Shoulder<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This one really touched my heart - Angels on Your Shoulder\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A friend of mine sent me this article a number of years ago. I did some research and Father John Powell did write this story. So I give thanks to him and to Tommy. It is a wonderful reminder that seekers seldom find, it is by opening our heart and allowing love to be our…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Angels on Your Shoulder\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-05-10T16:47:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/angelsonyourshoulder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/hands-and-heart-thumb.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Susan Gregg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"This one really touched my heart - Angels on Your Shoulder","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"This one really touched my heart - Angels on Your Shoulder","og_description":"A friend of mine sent me this article a number of years ago. I did some research and Father John Powell did write this story. So I give thanks to him and to Tommy. It is a wonderful reminder that seekers seldom find, it is by opening our heart and allowing love to be our…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html","og_site_name":"Angels on Your Shoulder","article_published_time":"2008-05-10T16:47:17+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/angelsonyourshoulder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/hands-and-heart-thumb.jpg"}],"author":"Susan Gregg","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html","name":"This one really touched my heart - Angels on Your Shoulder","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/angelsonyourshoulder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/hands-and-heart-thumb.jpg","datePublished":"2008-05-10T16:47:17+00:00","dateModified":"2008-05-10T16:47:17+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/#\/schema\/person\/b87299a8cec940d47d994d9cb2ccb40c"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/angelsonyourshoulder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/hands-and-heart-thumb.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/angelsonyourshoulder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/hands-and-heart-thumb.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/2008\/05\/this-one-really-touched-my-heart.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"This one really touched my heart"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/","name":"Angels on Your Shoulder","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Susan Gregg","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/#\/schema\/person\/b87299a8cec940d47d994d9cb2ccb40c","name":"Susan Gregg","description":"Susan Greggis an author, Karuna Reiki Master, and Nagual Woman. She has written eight books including the award-winning \"Mastering the Toltec Way\" and \"The Encyclopedia of Angels, Spirit Guides and Ascended Masters.\" Susan completed an apprenticeship with Don Miguel Ruiz, author of \"The Four Agreements,\" and she has been exploring spirituality, human potential, and the nature of physical and metaphysical reality since the early 1970s. Her greatest passion is showing others how they can be happy, no matter what is going on in their lives or in the world around them. This passion has resulted in her creating a podcast, \"Food for the Soul,\" and numerous video meditations. Susan's spiritual journeys have also taken her around the world with students she teaches. Currently, she lives on the beautiful island of Hawaii where she is an avid gardener, hiker, and writer. She often spends time playing with the numerous four-legged friends she's rescued or swimming with the turtles and wild dolphins. Follow me on twitter","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/author\/sgregg"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/angelsonyourshoulder\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}