{"id":939,"date":"2011-11-18T10:00:34","date_gmt":"2011-11-18T10:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/americainuniform\/?p=939"},"modified":"2011-11-10T19:42:49","modified_gmt":"2011-11-10T19:42:49","slug":"tool-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2011\/11\/tool-time.html","title":{"rendered":"Tool Time"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/americainuniform\/files\/2011\/10\/wrench.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1004\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/293\/2011\/10\/wrench-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>The chief and I were on our submarine trying in vain to hook up some fire hoses. The wrenches we had didn\u2019t fit the connections, so he resorted to banging away at the hoses to make things fit. Just then an ensign walked by.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Chief,&#8221; he yelled out, &#8220;I have a book on tools you can borrow.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Get it!&#8221; shouted the chief. &#8220;It\u2019s got to be heavier than this wrench I\u2019m using.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;Rich Stahl<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<div>\n<div>Provided Courtesy of <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.rd.com\/\">Reader&#8217;s Digest<\/a><\/strong>. Click here for more &#8220;<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.rd.com\/all-jokes.do?cat=1198\">Military Jokes<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.rd.com\/all-jokes.do?cat=1198\">&#8220;.<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The chief and I were on our submarine trying in vain to hook up some fire hoses. The wrenches we had didn\u2019t fit the connections, so he resorted to banging away at the hoses to make things fit. Just then an ensign walked by. &#8220;Chief,&#8221; he yelled out, &#8220;I have a book on tools you&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":442,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-military-humor"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tool Time - America in Uniform<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2011\/11\/tool-time.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tool Time - America in Uniform\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The chief and I were on our submarine trying in vain to hook up some fire hoses. The wrenches we had didn\u2019t fit the connections, so he resorted to banging away at the hoses to make things fit. 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