{"id":1902,"date":"2012-02-03T10:00:50","date_gmt":"2012-02-03T10:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/americainuniform\/?p=1902"},"modified":"2012-01-26T14:34:15","modified_gmt":"2012-01-26T14:34:15","slug":"you-might-be-an-airborne-soldier-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2012\/02\/you-might-be-an-airborne-soldier-if.html","title":{"rendered":"You might be an Airborne Soldier if…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip
\nYour favorite beer is someone else’s
\nYour cologne smells suspiciously like bug juice
\nYou think a spit shine means to spit on your boots and wipe them on the back of your pant legs
\nYour kids wear a high and tight and stand at parade rest
\nYou tell the arresting officer that you have just been alerted and you were speeding to work
\nWhen you have dinner guests in between paydays, you try to pass off a hamslice as canned ham
\nYou use your spotter scope to pull surveillance at the pool or the Pope AFB air show
\nYou would rather smoke a private then a Marlboro
\nYour hide site is cleaner than your room
\nYou set up concertina wire around your house to keep trick or treaters away
\nYou spend your free time thinking of ways you would destroy things if you were a terrorist
\nYou never enter a bar without an E&R plan
\nYou consider a “Recon” walking around the bar looking for chicks
\nYou order a beer from the waitress by hollering “Nurse give me an IV”
\nYou consider a six pack a well balanced breakfast
\nYou say “Hooah” whether you understand or not
\nYou creatively acquire things you need
\nEvery sport you play has the word combat as part of its name<\/p>\n

\n
\n
Provided Courtesy of Reader’s Digest<\/a><\/strong>.\u00a0 Click here for more “Military Jokes<\/a>“.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip Your favorite beer is someone else’s Your cologne smells suspiciously like bug juice You think a spit shine means to spit on your boots and wipe them on the back of your pant legs Your kids wear a high and tight and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":442,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-military-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nYou might be an Airborne Soldier if... - America in Uniform<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2012\/02\/you-might-be-an-airborne-soldier-if.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You might be an Airborne Soldier if... - America in Uniform\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The first thing you do in the morning is put in a dip Your favorite beer is someone else’s Your cologne smells suspiciously like bug juice You think a spit shine means to spit on your boots and wipe them on the back of your pant legs Your kids wear a high and tight and…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2012\/02\/you-might-be-an-airborne-soldier-if.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"America in Uniform\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-02-03T10:00:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-01-26T14:34:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/americainuniform\/files\/2012\/01\/airborne-150x150.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"goquin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"You might be an Airborne Soldier if... - 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