{"id":1389,"date":"2011-12-23T10:00:57","date_gmt":"2011-12-23T10:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/americainuniform\/?p=1389"},"modified":"2011-12-15T18:19:54","modified_gmt":"2011-12-15T18:19:54","slug":"parachute-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2011\/12\/parachute-problems.html","title":{"rendered":"Parachute Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand.<\/p>\n

“If the main parachute malfunctions,” he asked, “how long do we have to deploy the reserve?”<\/p>\n

Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, “The rest of your life.”<\/p>\n

— Kenneth Rauens<\/p>\n

\n
\n
Provided Courtesy of Reader’s Digest<\/a><\/strong>. Click here for more\u00a0 “Military Jokes<\/a>“.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand. “If the main parachute malfunctions,” he asked, “how long do we have to deploy the reserve?” Looking the trooper square in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":442,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-military-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nParachute Problems - America in Uniform<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/americainuniform\/2011\/12\/parachute-problems.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parachute Problems - America in Uniform\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. 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