{"id":47,"date":"2018-03-12T21:22:46","date_gmt":"2018-03-12T21:22:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/?p=47"},"modified":"2018-03-12T21:22:46","modified_gmt":"2018-03-12T21:22:46","slug":"extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html","title":{"rendered":"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_46\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-46\" style=\"width: 261px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-46\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/408\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg\" alt=\"www.freefoto.com\" width=\"261\" height=\"300\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-46\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">www.freefoto.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>All anxiety narratives end with the fear that we are not lovable or worthy or the unspoken dread that life ultimately lacks meaning. \u00a0These doubts create fuzzy lenses that change otherwise neutral events into anxiety generators and insurmountable obstacles. An unanswered call becomes evidence that we are unloved.\u00a0 A lost job morphs into proof we are losers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Happily, the idea that people can have a fatal flaw that renders them unlovable is not now nor has it ever been true. If the nature of the energy field is love (see blog #3- What Einstein Knew) then we already are love so being unlovable is impossible. People can act in ways that are unloving or act like a world class jackass. That\u2019s their behavior not their nature. Our nature is love whether it is reflected in our behavior or not. Thank goodness, because there is no way to guarantee even the best intentions will be perceived or received as loving actions.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If our nature is love apart from behavior, we need only remove obstacles to experiencing our true nature rather than change ourselves to meet some unclear standard.\u00a0 The way to connect with that energy of love is the same way a pianist gets to Carnegie Hall, practice, practice, practice. \u00a0A pianist might start with scales, a person starts by extending love. Imagine a pool of love that starts within you and engulfs any fearful, angry, frustrated or guilty thought. When someone is irritating, obnoxious or upsetting send a wave of love towards them. Maybe the emanating love looks like silver or white light or a love-filled squirt gun that sprays the disturbing thought or covers the disruptive person with warmth and compassion. Choose an image or feeling that is comfortable and soothing.<\/p>\n<p>Extending love is a mind reorientation that can be threaded into your everyday life. \u00a0Fold the laundry. Take the cat to the vet. Get another job. Do what must be done. But when unsettling, anxiety producing thoughts arise, extend love toward them. If there is a thief in the house, call the police but extend love to the situation. Experiences are radically different when the mind is connected to love rather than overrun with anger, anxiety or defensiveness. \u00a0With practice the field of love becomes easier to sense and the connection to it stronger. As the connection strengthens, the anxiety narrative becomes less dominant and life gets a lot happier.<\/p>\n<p>Post #8\u00a0 Next time: The Peace of Mind Diet<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; All anxiety narratives end with the fear that we are not lovable or worthy or the unspoken dread that life ultimately lacks meaning. \u00a0These doubts create fuzzy lenses that change otherwise neutral events into anxiety generators and insurmountable obstacles. An unanswered call becomes evidence that we are unloved.\u00a0 A lost job morphs into proof&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":619,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative - Serenity in an Age of Anxiety<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative - Serenity in an Age of Anxiety\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; All anxiety narratives end with the fear that we are not lovable or worthy or the unspoken dread that life ultimately lacks meaning. \u00a0These doubts create fuzzy lenses that change otherwise neutral events into anxiety generators and insurmountable obstacles. An unanswered call becomes evidence that we are unloved.\u00a0 A lost job morphs into proof&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Serenity in an Age of Anxiety\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-03-12T21:22:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/files\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kelly Dorfman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative - Serenity in an Age of Anxiety","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative - Serenity in an Age of Anxiety","og_description":"&nbsp; All anxiety narratives end with the fear that we are not lovable or worthy or the unspoken dread that life ultimately lacks meaning. \u00a0These doubts create fuzzy lenses that change otherwise neutral events into anxiety generators and insurmountable obstacles. An unanswered call becomes evidence that we are unloved.\u00a0 A lost job morphs into proof&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html","og_site_name":"Serenity in an Age of Anxiety","article_published_time":"2018-03-12T21:22:46+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/files\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg"}],"author":"Kelly Dorfman","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html","name":"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative - Serenity in an Age of Anxiety","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/files\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg","datePublished":"2018-03-12T21:22:46+00:00","dateModified":"2018-03-12T21:22:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/#\/schema\/person\/fe46541d5785c5438edd2d7fd5e65b42"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/files\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/files\/2018\/03\/preview16-261x300.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/2018\/03\/extending-love-resolving-anxiety-narrative.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Extending Love-Resolving Your Anxiety Narrative"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/","name":"Serenity in an Age of Anxiety","description":"Mastering peace of mind when the world won\u2019t help","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/#\/schema\/person\/fe46541d5785c5438edd2d7fd5e65b42","name":"Kelly Dorfman","description":"Kelly is an award-winning author and speaker who has been featured on CNN\u2019s American Morning and other news programs, as well as in articles in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and Oprah Magazine. In addition to her work as a clinical nutritionist, she leads workshops on resolving relationship conflicts and anxiety using principles of wholeheartedness. Kelly also directed an intuition training program for doctors and medical professionals for ten years and co-founded a non-profit to support families of children with developmental delays. After decades of clinical practice using targeted nutrition therapy to tackle complex medical problems, she wanted to focus on problems created by the mind beyond biochemistry. She noticed the mind seems to create endless obstacles to happiness and peace of mind no matter how committed a person is to these goals. Anger, fear, anxiety and loneliness are symptoms the mind needs help as well as opportunities to remember who we really are and why we are here. Kelly is writing a second book tentatively titled, Love in an Age of Anxiety.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/author\/kdorfman"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/619"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/48"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/ageofanxiety\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}