7 Steps to Deal with Jealousy and Envy
Jealousy and envy are often spoken of as the same emotion. Actually they are different ends of a spectrum. Jealousy occurs when we want to keep what we have. We become jealous when we are afraid of losing something in our life we value. Envy is when we want something we don’t have. Envy is based on the desire to possess something someone else has but we do not. These emotions are often referred to as shadow emotions, expressing the darker side of our humanity.
When we are feeling jealous or envious, it doesn’t feel good. Experiencing and staying in the space of jealousy and envy can very quickly lead to despair. Based in fear, these emotions leave us feeling hopeless and powerless. The more we find ourselves enmeshed in these emotions, the more they can build creating a downward spiral that is hard to climb out of.
Once we begin to feel jealousy or envy it is easy for these emotions to take over our focus. When we are drawn into the shadow emotions of jealousy and envy we become unproductive and increasingly are surrounded by more and more negativity, hatred and resentment. Since jealousy and love cannot coexist in the same space focusing on these shadow emotions actually repels love and happiness from our life.
Feeling shadow emotions like jealousy and envy is normal and a part of the human experience. Learning to recognize that we are feeling the emotions of jealousy and envy is what allows us to have the human emotional experience. However, it is important not to get stuck in these shadow emotions and drawn into the darker side of being human. By being aware of our feelings of jealousy and envy we can take the following action steps to move through these emotions and on to emotions that feel more pleasurable.