The heart that truly loves never forgets.

From "The Heartmates Meditation Journal," by Rhoda F. Levin:

I was definitely D's nurse for months after the heart attack, to the point where he would turn to me and say, 'Well, do you think I should eat that? Do you think this is too much salt? This would be okay, wouldn't it?' At every turn I was losing my identity as his lover and his wife. –Lavonne G.

Healing the couple relationship is a part of your task together after acute recovery is accomplished.

No relationship is perfectly equal, or perfectly perfect. The ease with which you assimilated the caretaking habits of the well spouse were quickly interwoven with your mate's assumption of the role of the patient. Wanting to reclaim your role of wife and lover is natural. You both may still be afraid and unaware of your new roles of being sick or well.

To work on re-connecting as mates, explore these activities:

Talk with your mate about shifting and equalizing responsibility for lifestyle changes important for continued recovery.

Set aside time to talk about household and family responsibilities you took on when he became ill that the two of you can now share.

Plan times to be separate, for each of you to pursue your individual interests.

Make dates regularly to be physically affectionate with each other.

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