Beliefnet

Are you one of those people who can’t whisper “no” let alone shout it? We know you can do it all, but you might want to scale back on the commitments before you burnout. First we need to understand why we feel the need to scale mountains every day as women. There is a term for this and it is called “Superwoman Syndrome.” What is this? Simply, we are trying to do it all. We’ve have taken on too much in our careers, we believe that we need to constantly prove ourselves, we never ask for help and we don’t know how to chill out! Additionally, we want control and we don’t like to divvy up tasks at home or at work. This juggling act will collapse eventually and it could be a curtain call when exhaustion hits. We are not advocating that you shriek from responsibilities because then you head into a negative direction. We are calling on all women who can’t turn things down and need to set up boundaries. Here are 7 reasons women need to say “no” more often.

It hurts personal boundaries.

Boundaries are needed to maintain balance in life. If you agree to everything despite knowing you can’t do it, it is a disservice to all involved. Maybe your in-laws want you to fly out for the holidays. However, you can’t because money is tight, but you feel pressured. Try asserting yourself and tell them you can’t do it. If you accept the obligation there will be bitterness and resentment. Start choosing your welling-being over the pressure to cave in. Women may be wired to say “yes,” but they also have the power to give a hearty “no.”

It reduces being taken advantage of.

Most of the time women are trying to please everyone. This comes with a price tag and it is called “stress.” When we always agree and say “yes” to something that we are not comfortable with it creates a ton of stress and tension. We lose sleep and it impacts our overall health. Being over committed will make you feel robotic and emotionally drained. Anger could be building up over time due to commitments. Reduce stress in this area by cutting back unwanted and useless commitments. If you need help create a list of everything you do and start weeding tasks out.

It allows you to be selfish.

It is not selfish to want to have more time for yourself and your family. If you are feeling that you are selfish for not taking on a new obligation, there is a reason. Give yourself permission to say “no” without carrying the baggage of guilt. If you need help, write a list of the benefits of saying “no.” Another way of looking at things is sometimes being selfish is not a bad thing.

It gets rid of toxic people.

If you want to get rid of the toxic people in your life just say “no.” The users, takers, leaches and the manipulators will leave because they hold no power over you anymore. If you give them an absolute "no" "they’ll eventually go away and find some other, weaker target,” Life Hacker reported. This sounds harsh, but there are self-serving people out there who only care about themselves. Don’t be caught in their trap.

It will preserve your energy.

Eliminate distractions and other things that serve little purpose. Saying “no” may include cutting back on clients, emails or other things that cut down on productivity. You can’t be great at everything so if your energy is spread over several tasks you will be depleted. Start to analyze daily routines and notice where energy is being wasted. Are you spending more time on being productive or wasting time on commitments that are more of a hassle? Ask yourself if not saying “no” was a factor of the stress. If you have a family, look to see if you are passively agreeing to things that may overwhelm you. This can be adding another sport to your child’s already full schedule. If you agree to sign them up and you are already stretched thin, it could be miserable for everyone involved. Choose where your energy needs to be focused on and say “no” if needed.

There will be more clarity.

Trust that when you really say the word “no” that you agreeing “to a greater opportunity that's more aligned with your expertise, goals and values,” CNBC shared. When you have made your decision refrain from lengthy discussions and keep the answers short. Explain to them you need to move on and that you don’t want to discuss it. If you are honest people, they will respect you more. When you agree to do something, you are actually saying “no” to other positive or more productive things you could be doing. Changing your perspective on this may help you to see that saying “no” is not a terrible thing. You might even feel more at peace with yourself for sticking to your decision. 

It will allow you more time to replenish.

Women will burnout if they are already multitasking. Saying “no” will give you more time for yourself and allow breathing room to replenish. If you want to have more time to reflect or for creativity, scale back or pause on commitments so you can catch your breath.

Learning to say “no” can be scary. Yet, it is a powerful tool for women to use to create a happier and more productive life. Once you realize that you are not responsible for everyone’s reaction it will give you a sense of freedom. You will also feel empowered and less used by people. Your success will ride on whether you can use this two letter word to your advantage. You have the power to create the boundaries needed for your health, family and overall happiness. Get into the habit and make “no” a life-long friend and companion.

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