Editor’s Note: On May 1, 2006, Beliefnet user Neil Woodward, a 59-year-old painter from
It took me a couple of days to replace my stolen belongings. During this time I managed to clarify what I hoped to accomplish with this bike trip. I decided that my purpose was not necessarily to reach
The trip was to be more an exploration of possibilities.
Even without my laptop I would try to update my weblog at internet cafes and public libraries along the way. I would stop over for a day or two whenever I felt the need, and I would put my life in God’s hands and let Him show me the way. I wanted to learn to trust in God completely, and with this in mind, there was one item from my stolen things that I decided not to replace. In 1994, my doctor told me that I “almost certainly” suffered from clinical depression, caused by a serotonin imbalance in my brain. He had prescribed antidepressants which he said I should probably take for the rest of my life. But his diagnosis was based entirely on what I had told him about my personal history, and I had always questioned it. To me my recurring bouts of hopelessness, despair and fear of life meant only one thing -- that I didn’t have enough faith in God or myself or anything else.