I make that one of my practices; I think that's an intentional meditation in itself. I sit down quietly, take a deep breath, try to quiet my mind, quiet my breathing, and now bring the people in front of me who have created pain for me, and then bless them and put light around them and watch them drift away with love.
I find the exercise of visualizing light around people very difficult. Do you?
It's a part of your brain that can be developed. You just need to work that area and lighten it up and it comes with practice. But the intention is what's important, and if you stay in the intention of forgiveness, then you can achieve it. Forgiveness has been easy for me, though I've been practicing for quite a long time. But I am not somebody who holds onto anger or grudges.
For instance, you go through a divorce. There is so much built-up anger because you have spent so much time saying the things you wanted to say, losing yourselves in the relationship, the person screwing around on you, being untrue, feeling bamboozled, whatever, and you end up holding onto this frustration especially if you've got children. I went through that.
But I didn't want my children to experience this negativity because it wasn't theirs to experience. And I witnessed a lot of mothers speaking against the fathers of their children and no matter what you go through, there was something that ran up my spine and an inner voice would say, "Wait a minute, are you doing this for you
so you have allies, or are you doing this for them
? Because if you're doing this for them, you're destroying them. Because no matter what you feel about this man, they will always love him."
When I went through my issues in regards to that, as hard as it was, I made sure I didn't speak badly about him. In fact, when my son Oliver was little I wrote him a letter because he needs to know why I fell in love with his father (Bill Hudson). And I told him everything that was beautiful about his father, that he made me laugh, that he was fun, that he was a great dad when he was there, that he had talent and an ability to create things out of nothing. I just felt that he needed to know the value of his father, because children identify with their parents no matter how bad they are. So if you have left your husband or your husband has left you, bypass your anger; try to understand it, for yourself, and deal with it-but don't transfer it to your children.
Tell me about your first meeting, and what sounds like an immediate and intense connection, with Kurt Russell. Did it feel like spiritual experience?
No, not at all. When I first met Kurt, he came in to audition for "Swing Shift," one of many guys who came through that door. He'd just come off "Silkwood" which is a really good movie and he really did not want to read. He said, "I'm a terrible reader but I would like to meet you" and we sat down with the director. We had similar friends and coincidental experiences. His mother was the person I went to when I got my first job at Disney when I was a dancer. His two best friends were two guys in the industry (first assistant directors) whom I also was friends with. And I loved who he was. He was so real. And so basic. And completely at ease with himself. And I will say he was definitely my type, physically. But that's not what hit me. What hit me was his comfort with himself. His ability to be so honest-and he wasn't womanizing at all. He was like a buddy, and I thought, "God this guy is so cute and he's got no stuff." It didn't have that "Oh my God I can't wait, oh my heart's pounding, oh I'm sweating under my arms" feel about it. And all I can say is, watch out for those signs because they are a sure disaster. (Laughs)