Marriage of True Minds

As Hindus marry those of other faiths, the ceremonies are often vibrant examples of mix and match.

BY: Lavina Melwani

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Back home in New York, Gurpreet sometimes accompanies her mother-in-law to church and participates in all the major Catholic holidays. Steven likes to wear a "kada," one of the symbols of the Sikh faith, on his wrist because he feels he gets some blessing from it. They have managed to enlarge their two worlds to encompass both faiths.

Indeed, as the Indian-American community has burgeoned in the U.S., many of the children of immigrants have come of age, and wedding fever is on. Increasingly, couples are crossing religious and racial divides. New stresses are added to the usual matrimonial jitters: Do you get a rabbi or a Hindu priest--or both? If the groom is Jewish, do you serve shrimp at the wedding? For Hindus, beef is a no-no, and if the bride is Muslim or Jewish, pork better not be on the menu.

Sacha and Scott, a Hindu-Jewish Couple

Many couples are able to reconcile their different faiths and make their weddings a multifaith celebration of love. When Sacha Shivdasani, who is Hindu, married Scott Freemon, who is Jewish, the couple embraced many religions under one roof. At their wedding in a country club in Westchester, New York, the Hindu wedding mandap with its floral canopy served also as the Jewish chuppah. A rabbi and a Hindu priest conducted the wedding vows. The bride wore a sparkling white Indian outfit, and all her bridesmaids were swathed in multicolored silk saris.

The Jewish wedding started with the Song of Songs, and the men of both families wore yarmulkes on their heads for the ceremony. After the Jewish wedding, Marina Alam, a singer, sang a Sufi devotional, a Hindu bhajan, and a chant from the Guru Granth Sahib. Then the two families once again came to the stage for the Hindu ceremony, this time with the men wearing bright turbans. A red veil was draped around the couple's necks for the prayer ceremonies.

The joyful reception combined everything from Hava Nagila to conga lines to bhangra, while dancers performed a modern dance celebrating all faiths - Jewish, Christian, Muslim and Hindu. Says Aroon, the mother of the bride, "Our guests were from every religion and we wanted them all to feel part of the celebrations and to show that every faith is welcome."

Neeli and Todd's Hindu-Christian Wedding

When New York physicians Nitin and Leena Doshi were organizing the wedding of their daughter Neeli to Todd Cather, they flew their guests to a resort in Amelia Island off the coast of Jacksonville in Florida. They set up stalls with Indian clothes and jewelry, like a bazaar, and the 100 American guests were invited to dress themselves for the evening in Indian outfits. While chefs at the resort provided the western cuisine, Indian chefs were flown in from New York to create the Indian wedding feast.

The wedding, a vibrant mix of West and East, included a complete Hindu ceremony with the bride being carried in a palanquin on the shoulders of her brothers and cousins, and a rousing reception where guests danced the Garba, a Gujarati folk dance. The non-denominational Christian wedding ceremony was held on the beach, with everyone dressed in casual Western clothes, and the bride in a white wedding gown.

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