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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
12/22/2002 18:46

Hello tponce3396, we're very happy that you posted here for prayers for your friends that have just lost their beloved daughter Kelsie. So close to Christmas, it's tragic, and we all share in their pain. Rest assured that they, Greg, Julia and Carissa Moore will be prayed for in their great loss. Kelsie sounds like a beautiful Angel, and will now watch over her much loved family from Heaven. Much love and prayers to the family, and God bless you for posting.
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
12/22/2002 18:46

~~~~~hello shaner,yvonne,selva, and verna, and all the other moms here at this circle~~~~~
sorry i haven't posted in a while. i had a final due on the 18th which i recieved an A and i had a note book and a four page case study paper due on the 19th worth 150 points which i got too. so you see i have been real busy with my school and hard at working with my little guys. i too have been having valley days every since my husband and i went and got the tree. it only had lights and 9 ornaments on it until friday. i just couldn't finish it. i started going through the decorations and every one i unwrapped it was michael's right away i pulled out the ones with his picture in the middle. i found chris's too. at first i blamed it on for i didn't like the tree but i know that wasn't the real reason, it has been a little over 28 months and the pain is still with me exspecially for the holidays with my birthday and his daughters the day after mine and then my sisters on the 12th and oya my new niece who was born on the 14th and my dads on the 15th and my two sister-n-laws 17th and 20th and a nephew on the 23rd. so many birthdays in december. so the tree was fine i was just thinking of my michael and how he would help to pick out the tree, if the tree was as tall as him we couldn't get it. Now we have to measure it to chris, but even he didn't come this year. i have all my shopping done, that was done before thanksgivig. all i need to do is wrap.
i guess i'm saving that for the very last job to do. i wish my mom was here she would wrap for me while we would take turns baking every weekened at her house. i guess i'm in the blues for that too. even though i don't post all the time i still think of every one who has helped me here at this circle and pray for you all daily. i may not post but your all in my thoughts and prayers every day. some times in my prayers more during the day when i'm home. no matter what i'm doing and i stop for a moment is for some reason i need to pray. i think of all of you often and and know your pain for it is a pain a mother will only know from the loss of a child or children.my love and prayers to you all. love debby

dear father, i pray that you will help these moms here at this circle for the holidays are so hard for them, i pray that you will put your arms around them and comfort them and when they need you the most you will be right by their side and never deseret them and i pray that you will guide them and give them courage to get through this holiday season and i pray that you will show them the way, i ask this in your name the father, amen.


deborahpoo
12/22/2002 18:51

hi shaner i see we posted at the same time. love and prayers to you.

debby


shaner
12/22/2002 19:12

Hello dearest Selva, I'm glad you liked the poem, it touched me, so I thought I would post it here for everyone else. It's a sad poem, but with truth at the end, as I say so often, love never dies, our love for our child/children will always be there as will their love for us. I'm glad that you're at your sister's house, it would be too hard on you to be alone right now. Gosh yes, you're so blessed to have a loving brother also, giving you his support too! That's wonderful that you found out where exactly the Miami Rescue Mission is, now you'll know how to get there, etc. Oh sweetie, I don't blame you for wanting to get away and get home, away from all the Christmas shoppers and all it's reminders for you of Christmas's spent with your Solange, it's just too painful for you right now to be among them, so you do what you have to do to feel better, it's a very hard time for you right now. All of the build-up leading to the celebration of Christmas, in the commercial sense, can lead to a lot of anxiety, so perhaps concentrating on the real meaning of the day may help you a little bit. Every memory of Christmas's past is still very fresh in your mind, this being your first without Solange, so be gentle with yourself and let the tears come, spend the day however you want to spend it, and do something to honour Solange, like you're doing on Christmas Day, helping at the Mission. That's a wonderful gift to give to yourself, Solange, and Our Lord. You're a dear, sweet, loving woman, and you WILL make it through the Holiday Season, as hard as that sounds right now. I'll be around over the Holidays, so if you need to talk, I'll be here. You're an Angel mom yourself, and you know our love and prayers are with you. God bless you sweetie, I know you're in a lot of pain, but we're all here for you and I thank you for all your prayers for us. Much love and prayers to you dear Selva,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
12/22/2002 19:22

hi, just dropping aline. i visited eudore's daughters site and found out that she lost another love one in her family(carol ann's grandmother)thought maybe you all could drop her a line. debby


shaner
12/22/2002 19:32

Hi Deb, yes, we were on at the same time, :). I'm so happy to see a post and the beautiful poems from you, I loved them. You've been really busy with school and work, congratulations on getting the 150 points! I know Deb, it seems to be valley days for all of us, Christmas brings up so many memories and makes us long all the more for our child/children. So many, many memories of happier Christmases spent as a whole family, and now they have become painful for us all. And you also have your birthday, your grandaughter's, and all the other family members in the month of December, that's got to be hard too. Yes, that's all I've got left to do too Deb, is wrap the gifts, hopefully I'll feel like doing it tomorrow, have to get it done. I know sweetie, you must really miss your mom at this time of the year, it would help to make it easier for you. We miss when you don't post Deb, but I understand that you're busy, and I know that you read the posts and pray for us all, you're an Angel mom too. That's so wonderful to know that when you're alone God will put it on your mind to pray for us all, and you know by now that we all love you and pray for you all the time too. Michael must be so very proud of his Mom! Another beautiful prayer for all, Deb, and our love and prayers go back to you. I wish you and your family a peace-filled Christmas, with good memories of Christmas's past, Michael will be there in spirit with you all, with his tender care of his family. Much love and prayers to you Deb, and I hope you'll still post from time to time here, you're an important part of this Circle!
Luv Sandy


HAZELFINLEY
12/22/2002 23:48

I too lost a daughter, Lisa Marie. June 7th, 2001 it still seems so un-real. My daugher was pregnant, so I also lost a grandchild. She was killed in a car accident, by a careless person. I, like every parent, ask "WHY" I miss her each and every day, they say time heals, well I don't know about that. I pray for strength to go on. I visited her grave today, took her a Christmas tree. I feel so cheated. Pray for me. Hazel


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:30

Hello Hazelfinley, ~ I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your precious daughter, Lisa Marie. I, too, have lost a daughter. My daughter, Beverly "Diane," was killed in a tragic chain reaction wreck which involved 2 cars, 2 pickup trucks and drunk driving. Diane was a front seat passenger. Before this happened, I thought I knew what it would be like to lose a child. Once it happened, the indescribable pain that I felt was so great, I pleaded with God to just let me die! And when He didn't, I got very, very angry with God!


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:32

Then, as time passed, and I found out that this kind of grief wasn't something that was going to go away anytime soon, I decided that I had no choice but to find a way to take my own life -- something that I never dreamed that I would ever think of doing. Before this happened ... I thought that nothing could be so bad as to make me think of killing myself. That's just how close I came to missing out on discovering the kind of peace that only God could give to a bereaved Mom. As Sandy, some of the other moms & I have shared with many of our newly bereaved moms here, we will never get beyond our grief, but in time ... In God's time ... we do learn how to manage that grief, with God's help, and all the help He keeps sending in so many, many ways.


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:37

I can't help but recall the first time someone said to me, "In time" ... I recall thinking, "This person has no earthly idea what I am going through!" Unfortunately, the pain that we experience before we reach "In time" ... Is something we can't get around. It is our cross to bear -- in this life. Fortunately, God sees to it that we get the help we need along the way. I can tell you that it does not, cannot happen over night. It takes a lot of time to get to the place in our grieving where we can feel relief from the pain for more than a few moments, or hours at a time. It takes time to somehow develop the desire to begin functioning in a productive way. Life will never again be the same because of the love bond which will always exist between you and your precious daughter, Lisa Marie. But, you will learn to move on ... in a different way ... Recalling all the fond memories, as time goes by.


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:38

Sometimes I smile or laugh when I recall some of the fond memories I have of my Diane. :) And, then, there are days when I miss her so very much, it seems as though it was just the other day. It's then that I shed tears ... But I know that it is very normal, and always OK at any stage to do so. Even though there is no set time, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt when God delivers you from your current stage of feeling indescribable grief... (almost constantly), Once you reach that stage in your grieving process ... You WILL feel the kind of peace that only God ... in His tender mercy ... can give!


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:39

Does this mean that you will no longer grieve or miss your precious daughter? No, it does not. But, you will be able to tell that the grief has settled in, in a manner that you can manage, as you continue on your grief journey. And, rest assured ... You will never have to walk that road alone!

I pray that our Lord and Savior will give you those precious moments of peace for which we all pray!
Peace and blessings,
LOVE2U (Verna


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 03:50

Hello to Selva, Peggy, and All wonderful Angel Moms! You all are in my thoughts and prayers! My book-project is coming along fine. My project manager is due back in the US Jan. 20, 2003, so I am counting on your prayers that she won't read my first draft and say, "START OVER!" ha -ha!

Please be kind to yourselves, and feel your precious guardian angel's presence. :) I pray that God will send you a sign of some kind to let each of you know that you are ... (as Cindy's E-mail signature says) ... In the company of angels ... Especially your very own ... throughout these holidays!
Peace & blessings'
LOVE2U
Verna
~ ~ ~
God's purpose is not to destroy us, but to restore us. The enemy is the destroyer, but God has promised to restore the things the enemy has taken from our lives -- all the years of lost joy, all the times of frustration and defeat, all the moments of regret, and all the pains of lost opportunities, all the hurts of broken relationships. God is building His kingdom within you -- a kingdom of joy, love, peace, righteousness, victory, redemption, and right relationships.

Never Forgotten ~Always Loved ~
by Roy Lessin


LOVE2U
12/23/2002 05:04

Dear Hazel, ~ Please forgive me for not offering my sympathy for the loss of your precious grandchild who was also taken from you. My heart goes out to you in your double tragic loss! Some of us moms know how difficult it is to lose one child, but to lose more than one ... And in your case, A precious grandchild, and in such a tragic manner ... Oh Lord, we moms will storm heaven with our prayers for you and your entire family. I pray that you have family and friends to help you get through these difficult days ahead.

I will never know if my daughter was or was not expecting. On her death certificate, they checked [Unknown]. Either way, it's all in God's hands now. Also, about the question of "Why?" That, too, is very much a part of the grieving process. We can't help but ask "Why!" God understands your heart has been shattered, and someday, when it's your time, He will give you all the answers. Right now, you are still in shock. There were many times when I would wake up thinking I had dreamed it all ...That it really didn't happen. Then reality would take over. It's a long, hard, painful, tough road we are traveling ... but it helps to know that our children are always near and we will see them again ... In time! I know ... it doesn't stop the pain of missing them, and wanting to hold them in our arms again, but thank God, for paving the way for us to someday live forever with our children in God's kingdom! And, oh what a heavenly family reunion that will be!! :)
Much love,
Verna
E-mail: vclay100@aol.com

Hi Sandy! ~ Hope all is well. :) Just a quick note before my fingers give out! ha-ha! I have started an email to you and I think I fwd you one or two fwd pages??? I will finish it (the email) sometime this morning or rather this evening or night or whenever I wake up, (ha-ha!)God willing. I have been at it (self-editing, filing) ... since, well, sometime yesterday with very few breaks in between! :) "WHEW!" I am tired ... but, its a good tired feeling! :)
Peace & blessings...
Love,
Verna


shaner
12/23/2002 09:53

Hello HazelFinley, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so very sorry to read about your loss of your precious Lisa Marie and grandchild, how tragic! Verna has posted some wise words to you, losing a child is the worst pain that a parent will ever experience, and it takes a great deal of time to learn how to live with that pain. It's only been a year for you, so you're still in a state of shock and disbelief, and that's normal, we've all experienced that, it's a part of the grieving process. I lost my beloved Shane 3 and a half years ago, and not a day goes by that he's not on my mind, and I'm working hard learning how to live with the pain and still live my life. You need plenty of time, grieve at your own pace, not what other's tell you, for only you really know how you feel. And all of us Moms here understand, it takes another Mom whose experienced such a loss to really understand another's. This is what we call a Circle of Love, we all understand, here you'll only find compassion, love, understanding, and prayers. You can post here anytime and just talk, vent, and we're all here for you. No, it doesn't seem fair, does it, but in time you'll know the answer. Our hearts, love and prayer go out to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
12/23/2002 09:57

Hello dearest Verna, glad to see you posting again, you know we love your posts. I'm not doing too badly, trying not to sink too far into the valley over Christmas, but it's hard on all of us, isn't it. I get strength from you other Moms and your prayers, and from Our Lord Himself. No, I didn't get your letter yet, but get some sleep, :) and then send it! Much love to you and prayers,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
12/23/2002 12:30

Hi HAZELFINLEY. Welcome to this Circle of Love. I'm so sorry for the lost of your daughter and grandchild.It is the most horrible pain a mother could go through. I lost my only daughter , 20 years old on Aug 15, 2002. So my pain is very hard and ugly right now, but if you keep coming back to this Circle, you will find much love and understanding from these Angel moms, you will also find prayers. I miss may daughter Solange so much that sometimes I think I can not go on, but keep on praying that is all we have left to do.And keep coming back to this Circle. I will include you in my prayers also. Selva


SELVAM
12/23/2002 12:37

Hi, Sandy, Verna, Debbie, Yvonne and all of you wonderful moms. I'm still in the valley, just praying. I'm at my sister's house , and I decided I will not go out until Xmas day to go to the Mission. I can't take all the celebrations etc. I have not be able to visit Solange's grave. I put up a little Christmas tree for her, but I don't have the courage yet to go to her grave. My Dr. told me is allright, that after all she is not there, she is now in Heaven next to Jesus. What a beautiful message you e mailed me with a message from our lost ones. I will keep it forever. Thank you for your prayers and remember you are always in my prayers. Love Selva


shaner
12/23/2002 18:40

Hello dearest Selva, I'm very happy for you that you're still at your sister's, it would probably be too hard to be alone in your own home right now. Yes, seeing all the Christmas decorations, etc. right now would be very painful for you, so if you want to stay inside until Christmas Day, then you do just that, it'll help to make it more bearable for you. If you're not up yet to visiting Solange's grave, then your Dr. is right, don't go, wait until you feel you're ready. Your Dr.s right, Solange isn't there, she's in Heaven rejoicing with the Angels and the great love of Our Lord, revelling in His love. Oh, I'm so glad you liked the message I sent you, it's so true, isn't it!
You'll get through this Holiday season Selva, as painful as it is, and emerge a little stronger for having done so. And you know our love and prayers are with you always, may Our Lord wrap you in His loving arms and give you some peace and good memories. Much love and prayers to you dear Selva, and thank you for yours!
Luv Sandy


shaner
12/24/2002 09:21

Hello to all Wonderful Moms, today is Christmas Eve, and I wanted to wish all of you a very blessed, peaceful Christmas. For some it is going to be very difficult, for others, sad and reflective, but however we mark the day, we can rejoice over the birth of Our Saviour, and the peace that only He can instill in our hearts. I love all you Moms, and wish you all a very peaceful, blessed Christmas, you're all in my heart, and in my prayers. May God bless you all, as you remember your child/children.
Luv Sandy


dovesfromheaven
12/24/2002 10:13

I just want to say to all of you precious Mothers, to have a peace filled Christmas. God bless you all as we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus. Hoping everyone of you will be blessed in some way as you spend time with family and friends. I love you all.
~~~Dear Father, send Your Holy Spririt to each Mom here to bring Your peace into their hearts and let them know that You are always with them.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Love, Yvonne<><


LOVE2U
12/24/2002 12:31

Dear God:

Thank you for this day
Thank you for helping
each bereaved Mom
to make it through all
the valley days ...
For lifting us up
and out of the valley ...
For giving us peace ...
Those precious moments
of peace that permeates
our being ... through family
and friends ... As we celebrate
the birthday of Your precious
Son, Jesus ...
I pray that You will
continue to lead us to seek
wholeness from within ...
using Your Holy Word, and
the thoughts and counsel
given to us by the power of
Your Holy Spirit ... As we
continue on our grief journey
I pray this humble heartfelt prayer
on behalf of all bereaved Moms
everywhere! In the name of
the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ~ ~ ~
Amen


SELVAM
12/24/2002 15:25

AMEN. Verna, I hope that Jesus hears our prayers, I'm in a terrible valley day, I'm a cuban-american, for us Christmas eve it is very important we call it Nochebuena, means great night, thats when our family gets together and celebrate the coming of Jesus, it is a very family oriented night when we make a big meal and sit down together all the family until 12 pm when Christmas arrive , then we open the presents etc. Last year my house was full of people celebrating Jesus and my birthday, it was really delighful, Solange was there in charge of giving out the presents, she enjoyed that very much. Today I'm alone with my sister, my brother decided to go to work tonight, and I miss my daughter sooooo very much. Why I ask, maybe someday I will ask what for. I will be praying for all of us. Love Selva


LOVE2U
12/24/2002 22:56

[PART 1]
Dear Selva, ~ Thank you for this wonderful daily gift. I am sure the messages will inspire me from day to day. That, literally is what moving on is all about, Selva. I have found that the things we do for others -- no matter how small -- is never wasted. Many times, it's the small thoughtful things in life that touches and blesses one the most. :)
God blesses the cheerful giver ... For it is in the giving ... that we find the blessings of peace, joy, and inner strength we so desperately need from day to day -- Sometimes minute to minute -- As we continue on our grief journey ...
Selva, I have known the pain and sadness that you and our other newly bereaved Moms are no doubt feeling at this very minute. We, who are further along, felt this kind of pain in the beginning stages. But, the pain will become easier to bear ... as time goes by. I know it seems so far off right now, but it will happen, Selva. I believe in my heart it will happen for you and the other newly bereaved Moms ... It will happen a lot sooner than you think. :)

 
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