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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

12/10/2002 16:06

Hi Sandy, Verna and all you Angel moms. I need prayer today very much, I,m having a very rough valley day, I just want my daughter back with me again. I know I need to accept God's will, but today I'm having a hard time doing it. Please pray for me. Thanks. Selva

12/10/2002 18:58

Solvam, I pray that the Lord gives you the peace you need at this time. Think os all the beautiful your Solvang left with you, she is with you always.I understand you speak spanish, so do I. I'm a Hispanic of Mexican descent from California. We also had a memorial service for our children on 12/08/02. We lit candles for them and said their names. It was real touching.Solvam feel free to email me anytime you feel like talking, this is for everyone in the Peggy

12/10/2002 20:19

Hi Selva, I'm so sorry sweetie that you're having a very difficult day. I know all you want is Solange back, you want this nightmare to end, and see your Solange coming through the door again. It just doesn't seem real to you sometimes, does it. We've all felt that way, Selva, my heart goes out to you in your pain. We'll storm Heaven with prayers for you, that Our Lord will give you some peace. God bless you sweetie, I know how hard it is. I pray tomorrow will be a better day for you. Let the tears come, and remember, Solange isn't far away, she's at your side when you're feeling so down. Yes, as Peggy said, you can e-mail me anytime you want too, it's
Much love and prayers to you Angel mom,
Luv Sandy

12/10/2002 20:25

Hi Peggy, nice to see you posting again.
I pray that the candle lighting was of some comfort to you, and that you felt your boys close to you! It's very special to know that so many other's were lighting their candles along with all, sharing a common bond. The world would be a much better place if we did that for everything. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/11/2002 08:43

Thank you Sandy, Peggy and all you wonderful moms for your prayers, it's so hard not seeing Solange for almost 4 months now, I miss her so very much. I pray everyday so I can accept it, I thinks once I do that then maybe this horrible pain will ease somehow, but I'm still on that process. I went to the Mission last night for I was scheduled to go for orientation, I will be serving Christmas dinners from 2 to 6pm on Xmas day, I will be celebrating my birthday that day with those who need so much, I;m glad for that, then I will be helping on other needs every saturday, I will do that in Solange's memory. Thank you again for your prayers and Thank God for this Circle of Love. My e mail is during the day and at evenings. If anybody needs me I'll be there for all of you. Much love Selva

12/11/2002 10:23

Hello dearest Selva, in time, you will learn how to live with it, but it's been so recent for you, and the Holiday Season doesn't help either, so give yourself plenty of time. Oh, that's wonderful about helping other's on Christmas Day, and your Birthday no less! You'll receive much out of your giving, in Solange's honour, helping others in turn helps us. I can't think of a nicer way for you to 'celebrate' Christmas and your Birthday than by working at the Mission, Our Lord will bless you tenfold for your love of your fellow man, doing what you're doing. Thanks for giving us your e-mail addresses, and don't forget to write our's down, we're always here for each other, this Circle of Love as you call it! Much love and prayers to you Selva,
Luv Sandy

12/11/2002 14:54

I was recently looking at some old Christmas decorations that my daughter Lisa had made me. My favorite is a little hand-written note surrounded by a wreath. It reads - "Little flower, go to my mother, tell her that I dearly love her." I think I will hang this up all year. I can still see her shining blue eyes smiling as she watched me open it on her 8th Christmas. God bless you all and know that our "little ones" always look after us. I pray we all find the peace and joy that they would wish for us. Merry Christmas - Cheryl & Nikita

12/11/2002 19:54

Hi Cheryl, what a beautiful little note that Lisa made, with so much love put into it for you! I think it's rightful place is up all year round, what a heartfelt testimony from 8 year old Lisa. Then you'll be able to enjoy it year round. My Shane made decorations for our Christmas tree in school, one is a little black terrier dog, stitched together by him in 7th grade, and maybe I'll hang it up year round too, why just enjoy it only at Christmas? Yes, our little ones do watch over us, so comforting to know. I agree with you in your prayer, Merry Christmas to you and little Nikita too. Love and prayers to you both,
Luv Sandy

12/12/2002 19:52

Hello all..Just a note to let all know how Ron and I are doing. As you will all understand. It will be our first Christmas without Matthew. Ron did not go with me to my parents house for Thanksgiving, Though he has agreed to go with me this year for Christmas dinner at my parents house. It will be hard for everyone.... Matthew and my nephew were always the designated ones to pass out the Christmas gifts.It has been 6 months. I miss him so much. To hear his laugh,to see his smile,to feel his arms around me, tears at my very soul. God help me it hurts. May God continue to carry us through this very difficult time of the year. I pray God's blessing on each and everyone of you..... In His Care I Press On.....Eva

12/12/2002 20:26

Hello Eva, it's so nice to hear from you again! I know sweetie, the Holidays are sheer torture during the first year, but at least Ron is going with you to your parents for Christmas. If that was your tradition, Matt and his cousin handing out the presents, then try changing that tradition so that an adult does it, and it won't be as painful. It's only been 6 months for you, so give yourself plenty of time for grieving, do it at your own pace, the first year of 'everything', birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays are the worst. It's been a little over 3 years for me, and I still don't enjoy Christmas or other Holidays that much. We celebrate them in our own way, quietly, with our other son. It's so painful, isn't it, it's the worst pain in the world for a parent to do through, but God WILL carry you through it all. Love never dies, it's eternal, so the love you have for Matthew, and his love for you and Ron are still there, for eternity. I wish I could give you a big hug, and let you cry about the pain, missing Matthew so much, but I can't, so I'll pray for you and your husband, the power of prayer is amazing, and I ask Our Lord to wrap you in His arms and give you some peace.
God bless you, Eva, post whenever you feel like it, we all care, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/13/2002 03:37

Hello Shaner, It's been while since I've been on this web site. I lost my son a year ago in April after collaping playing basketball for a state college. This is the worst time of the year for me not only the holidays but christmas eve is my son's Cal birthday he would have been 22yrs old this is the first time that I have talked about him in a past tense. I still cry alot expecially if I dream about him like last night and It wasn't a good dream.I know that he wouldn't want me to be unhappy, but I admit that I have been very much so. The only thing that's keeping me here besides God is my other 3 children. I try not to let them see me like this so I sat up in the middle of the night and cry if I feel like I need too. I've read some of the poems and the pain that the other Mother's are going through and I felt that I wasn't a lone in feeling that I had to question God WHY! I know that it will never be changed and I do have to live with it. But I pray here today that he help me to deal with it so I can get my health, mind and body back together so I can have some happiness before I do leave this world. I want everyone to also pray for a dear friend of mine who is dying and she don't know that I know she always try to be strong for me and I will always love her for that. Thank you and everyone for being so wonderful and may God Bless each and everyone of you.V

12/13/2002 13:10

Hello warner33, and welcome to the Circle! We're all so happy that you found us, and have posted here. We call this a Circle of Love, every Mom here knows of your pain, and is on the same Journey of Grief. I'm so sorry to read about your loss of your beloved Cal, your Angel for you now in Heaven. But we miss their physical presence so much in our lives, don't we. Yes, the Holiday Season is so hard on us all, our child is gone, and it's just not the same anymore. And on top of that, you have Cal's birthday to deal with. You don't have to talk about him in the past tense, he's still with you in your heart, and in the love that you both shared together, love never dies, and one day you'll see Cal again. It must be so hard for you to grieve, with other children around, trying to put on your best face for them, but I'm sure they'd understand if Mom is unhappy sometimes, they must miss Cal too. I'm so sorry you had a bad dream, but try to let it not bother you, concentrate on the good dreams! It's only natural to question 'why', and even be angry at God, He understands, and one day you will know the reason. Until then, you keep on praying, it will get easier in time, you'll learn how to live with it, with the help of Our Heavenly Father. I know you're in a lot of pain right now, it's only been a year or so, allow yourself to grieve, talk about Cal, it helps to let some of the pain out. I hope you have supportive family and friends around you, to help, and now you have this Circle, you'll only find understanding, compassion, love, and prayers here, we all care. Please post back again, we're always here for each other, and our love and prayers go out to you. We'll also remember your special friend, God bless her, our prayers are with her also. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/14/2002 22:10

Dear Selva, ~ I know that the holidays are very difficult for you and the other newly bereaved moms. The first of everything is. I can remember so well how very difficult it was for me that first year, and as some of the moms will tell you ... the pain of missing our precious children will never go completely away. In my opinion, that truly is our cross to bear in this life. But, just knowing that our children with us in our hearts forever makes it a little easier to bear that cross. It also helps to know that even as we grieve, they are right where we would want them to be, only the time would have never been right to let them go. :( We will always long to see and hold them in our arms again. And, that is as it should be because of the undying love we will always have for them. As Sandy often reminds us; Love never dies. And it sure does help to know that there are others who care deeply, and wish so very much that they could take the pain away. I just hope that you know what a strong and caring person you are. This statement rings true for all the other bereaved moms as well. By allowing God to use us to reach out to each other, even as we ourselves are in such deep pain, we are well on your way to discovering the many ways God has for each of us to bring about the much prayed for healing of your own shattered heart. And, as difficult as it is to accept this heavy cross that we must bear, we have the assurance that once our work here on earth is done, we will live forever with our precious children in God's kingdom ... Where there will be no more pain and no more suffering ... Nothing but joy forever more! And as much as we miss them, and they us ... I doubt very seriously they would ever want to give up the everlasting joy that they now know. If they could, I am sure they would tell us of the joy that awaits us! So, I say to you, Selva, and all the other bereaved moms ... Especially the newly bereaved ... As you continue on this painful journey, give yourselves all the time you need to grieve for your precious angels ... Keep the faith, Keep trusting in God, and He will direct your paths and bring peace and healing to your torn and shattered hearts and souls. May God continue to keep each and every bereaved Mom in His loving care. I pray that God will help each of us make it through these holidays, and our special days as they come and go. Also, Selva, a late happy birthday to your precious Solange.:) I thought I had done a post to you, but must have dreamed it.:) I think that was a wonderful thing that you did celebrating Solange's birthday in such a special way with all of her friends. And also, an "early" happy birthday to you! Again, you are truly a very caring individual, and I will continue to keep you and all the other precious and caring moms in my heartfelt prayers! God bless you and all bereaved moms everywhere.
Much love, peace, and blessings to all!

12/14/2002 22:34







[From Spirit Writings]
By: Verna R. Clay

12/14/2002 23:00

Dear JOEYRICK, (Peggy) ~ It's good to see you posting again. :) I have not been able to post often due to my book-project, but I continue to pray for all who have lost a precious child, and in your case, your precious children; Joey and Rick. I remember when you first joined our circle, and how my heart went out to you. We who have suffered the loss of one child can only try to imagine what it has been like for you. And, for me ... I can't even do that for very long, because just the thought seems to take my breath away! And, my eyes always become blurred, and the pain that I feel in my heart for you seems so heavy! I have continued to pray to God to have mercy on you and give you peace and comfort as time goes on. I just want you to know that I will always remember you and your precious sons in my heartfelt prayers ... Always! You, too, are a very strong and caring person! And, thank both you and Selva for sharing your email addresses. Sandy and I and some of the other moms enjoy sharing a lot of beautiful Fwd pages with each other. A lot of them are filled with words of comfort that help bring peace and healing to our hearts. I will add both of your email addresses to my list.
Much love, peace and blessings,

12/14/2002 23:21

Dear Cheryl, ~
I was deeply touch by the warm memories of your precious Lisa that you shared with us in your post above. :) It's those kind of memories that bring comfort to us to help ease our pain! Sometimes I just sit and smile when I think of all the joy my daughter Diane brought into the lives of all who knew and loved her. I think it's a wonderful idea to share those fond memories with each other, especially during the holidays. Don't you agree? Actually, I have some memories of Diane that still make me laugh out loud! :) Then, there are also very touching memories ... Such as the ones that both you and Sandy shared. :) I will be sure to share some fond memories I have of my daughter sometimes during the holiday season. :)
Much love to you and Nikita too!:)

12/14/2002 23:33

Hi Sandy! ~ As you can tell, I am trying to play catch up on posting to all our wonderful moms... And that includes you, too! :) I pray that God will continue to bless each and every mom, and give us peace and fond memories of our children to help block out some of the pain of missing them so! I can tell from your post above, your Shane is a very caring and thoughtful son that loves you just as much as you love him. In that sense, we still have so much to be thankful for. That, and the promise of our Lord and Savior that we will see and hold our children in our arms again someday! God bless you dear Sandy, and I will respond to the fwd pages you've sent soon! I really did enjoy each and every one of them! :)
I wish you much love, peace, and joy throughout the holiday season!

12/14/2002 23:40

To all the other moms ... I have enjoyed reading your posts. You, too, are in my prayers and I will be responding to your posts also throughout the holiday season! I pray that God will give each of you ... Peace and fond memories throughout the holiday season!
Much love to all,

12/15/2002 09:05

Hello dearest Verna! It's so nice to see you posting again, we've missed you, but understand you're busy with your wonderful book. I loved your poem "Forevermore", it's what we are all aiming to achieve in this lifetime, and beyond. You did a very good job at playing catch-up, :) I join you in prayer for every mom here, and that means you too! Your wonderful posts always help to uplift others, and I'm grateful that you found this Circle, you're another wonderful blessing to it!
Yes, we do still have so much to be thankful for, and I hold on tight to the promise that one day I'll see my Shane and other family again, as will all the other moms! God bless you dear Verna, glad you liked the fwd.'s, and ditto back to you, I wish you the same throughout the Holiday Season. Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/15/2002 09:08

Hi Deb, miss hearing from you too, I hope everything is alright, I know the Holiday Season is tough on everyone. Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/15/2002 23:53

I am very sorry for your loss, although i am not a parent i am an aunt who lost her 3 year niece, best friend a nieghbor 2 weeks ago. I am praying for you and your family.

12/16/2002 09:39

Hello shelli10, thank you so much for posting, we always appreciate it so much when someone takes the time to post prayers for us. I'm very sorry to read about your little niece and your best friend who passed away. Our prayers are with you, and may God bless you in whatever way He knows you need,
Luv Sandy

12/16/2002 12:21

Dear Elparro(Eva), ~ My heart goes out to you and family in the loss of your precious son, Matthew. The other night, when I was trying to catch up on responding to some of the back post I had read, I had intended to submit a post to you and Warner33(V), Cal's Mom, but after visiting your Matthew's memorial, I got so caught up in the pain of what you are going through, I knew I would not be able to finish either post. So I decided that I would wait, continue to pray, and allow God's Holy Spirit to guide me, because your posts at your son's site were a painful reminder of what it was like for me when I lost my precious 36 year old daughter, Diane, tragically and without warning. You have built a precious site for your Matthew. Eva, I know it hurts really bad right now; but your pain will ease up little by little as time goes on. I left a post for you at Matthew's site. I pray that it helps to know that I am praying for you and family, as are the other moms here. May God grant you those precious moments of peace for which we pray.
Much Love,

12/16/2002 13:38

Hi Sandy, Verna, Deb, Eva and all you wonderful Angels moms. Thank you so much for your much needed prayers, and thank you Eva for your post card. Today is a very specially hard day for me,it jave been 4 months since God called Solange, she had the accident on August 14 am, and the 16th they told me it was over, just like thath, I could not say good bye, she was unconcious all the time, I talked to her all the time just in case she could hear me. I know she is in a better place with God and all her new Angel friends, but I need her and mis her so very much. My pain seems to get stronger by the days, and these Holidays are so hard, for Solange used to enjoy it so much. I'm sure you all understand, sometimes I fell like telling HIM to give me back my daughter and get angry, then i pray for forgivenes, is all so ver hard. I keep on praying very hard for all of us bereaved moms and also for Diane, Shane, Matthew, Joey, Rick, Solange and all of our beloved children. Love Selva

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