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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

12/5/2002 01:48

Today Nikita my Granddaughter told me that we need to forgive "Philip" the man that killed my daughter and her mother. I know it is hard for her to understand why someone would take her mother's life. It is hard for me to understand. I told her it was alright to forgive him. She reminded me to pray for him to do better. Some days seem longer than others. I know that there is not a morning or night that I don't think of Lisa. My oldest daughter Tina came for Thanksgiving and we had a good time. Tina does not get to see us often as her husband is in the military and they move often. I am thankful that I found this site Shaner. You are truly a blessing. I will keep all of you in my prayers. Know that your child is watching over you and keeping close to you. I often think of our children visiting with each other in heaven, laughing, dancing and singing.

12/5/2002 12:32

Hello ckbryson, it's so nice to see a post from you again, missed you! Isn't that wonderful, Nikki telling you that the man who took her mother's life needs forgiveness from her and you! The truth coming out of the mouths of babes, as they say, and as hard as it is, she's right, we have to forgive other's who wrong us, it's one of the most difficult things we have to do in this world. It's a credit to you, it shows's how well you're raising Nikki, for her to understand that! I know, sweetie, our child is always on our mind, we miss them so much! That's wonderful that you had your daughter Tina home for Thanksgiving, it must be hard on you not seeing her as often as you'd like. I'm very happy that you found this site too, and all you moms are a blessing to me. I believe that too, that all of the children on these pages have met each other, through our common bond, and are having a wonderful time in Heaven, and still watching over us. Isn't that wonderful! My love and prayers are with you and Nikki, and thank you for your own prayers for all, please post back whenever you feel like it, we're all one big family here, praying, supporting and loving each other,
Luv Sandy

12/5/2002 12:34

Hi Selva, haven't heard from you lately, I hope you're doing alright, miss hearing from you, you know you're in our love and prayers,
Luv Sandy

12/6/2002 05:01


12/6/2002 09:27

Hi Sandy and all your beautiful Angel moms. I've been in the valley for a few days, last night we had a memorial services for Solange's 21 birthday (which is tomorrow) My Pastor is a wonderful and sweet person and he was very impressed to see so many young people at the Church, many of Solange friends attended . He assured me Solange is now an Angel in the company of Jesus , and after looking at all those young people crying and praying for her He said that she was an Angel here on earth too. It was a very emotional services, all my friends and family were there too. After the Mass ended we went outside and the kids sang Happy Birthday and let up 21 balloons into the sky, it was really beautiful. I was touched by so many people that loved Solange and was very proud of her, everybody told me she was their Angel. It's very painful still not having her around. Tomorrow , on her birthday, I will be attending a seminar with the group Bethany, which is a group of bereaved parents , they have reunions every month, but this is an all day seminar to help us parents deal with the Holidays and the days to come. and next tuesday I will fave my orientation meeting at the Miami Rescue Mission to help out during the Holidays. I really hope that God gives me the strenght to go through these days without my daughter and to be able to help others who have nothing . You all in my prayers. God Bless you all. Love Selva

12/6/2002 12:51

Hi Deb, what a wonderful prayer you've posted, yes, may Our Lord see us all through the Holiday season, missing our child, giving us all the necessary strength to do so and putting His great peace into our lives. God bless you sweetie, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/6/2002 13:40

Hi Selva, nice to see a post from you, I know these days are very hard for you.
The Memorial Service that you had for Solange sounds wonderful, it must have warmed your heart to have so many attend, her friends especially. All of them with their own precious memories of their friend Solange. Yes, she's an Angel for them all now, and especially for you, looking after her much loved mom. It must have been very special to hear all her friends and family singing Happy Birthday to her and letting the balloons go! I love it when Shane's friends drop by, or we run into them, and they share their own stories of how his life touched their's. Good for you attending a Support Group meeting, on how to cope over the Holidays, we've attended many of them in our own Support Group in our city for Bereaved Parents who have lost children, and the advice that they give you is very, very helpful, I know you'll get some good coping skills out of it. And it's also very wonderful that you're attending the Orientation Day at the Mission so you can help out during the Holidays, Our Lord will bless you tenfold for helping others! And it will help you to get through them too. God will give you the strength, Selva, He's very good to us grieving moms! I wish Solange a Happy Birthday too, and I know that she'll be close by you today! Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

12/6/2002 17:30

I would like to ask for anybody out ther to say a prayer for my cousin and his wife who have just lost their little girl Nicole at the age of twelve on 11/30/02. She was taken in a very freak accident and was the baby of her family with two older brothers and her mother and father are not doing well with this. If you could please say a prayer for them I would appreciate it and I am sure if they knew that others were thinking of them in their loss they would appreciate it also. Thank you. They are from PA. We know that Nicole is with God and there is no question of that. She is a wonderful girl.

12/6/2002 18:43

Hello kmcghee, I'm happy you found this site, and have posted here for prayers for your cousin and family. I'm so sorry to read that they lost their precious little Nicole, just last week, they must be in great pain, shock and disbelief. Losing a child is the hardest and most painful event that can happen in a parent's life. All of us here at this Circle know what they're going through right now, grieving for their beloved Nicole. They need a lot of support right now, and by you posting here, I'm sure you're a big help to them. Our love, understanding, support and many prayers go out to the family, and perhaps when Nicole's mother is ready, she will post here herself. May Jesus wrap them tenderly in His arms. Love and prayers to them,
Luv Sandy

12/7/2002 15:11


12/7/2002 19:13

Hi Sandy and all you wonderful moms, I just came from the seminar for breaved parents which is called Bethany here in Miami, it was an experience, they have 3 phsycologist, one of them who have lost a daughter, and many prayers and our bishop took the time to come and pray with us, I really needed that specially today Solange's 21st birthday. I met a lot of wonderful and caring parents there. I will be attending their reunions on the first wenesday of every month. I want to remind all of you that tomorrow at 7pm we will be lighting a candle for all our children. May God Bless you all. Love Selva

12/7/2002 19:18

Hi KMCGHEE, I am glad God took you into this circle, here you will find much love and understanding and tha prayers of all of us who know what the parents of Nicolle are going through. I lost my only daughter Aug 15, 02, so I'm still kind of new at this but I have found so much understanding and love in this circle that I thank God every day for this wonderful mom, I pray for them every day. When Nicolle's mother is ready tell her to come and join us. She will find love and understanding for we all know the pain. Bless you Selva

12/8/2002 05:17

dear father, today i ask for your prayers for all who have lost a child, i ask that you hold them close so they can feel your strenght as they go on this journary with out the child, i ask for couragement and guide them along the way,i ask for your understanding and i ask that we may find the answers as to why, i ask this in your name, the father, amen.

12/8/2002 14:10

Hi Deb, you're very welcome and if I've been a help to you, it's through God using me that it's happened! You've been a big help to me, too, and an important part of this Circle. Through your own pain, you reach out to others here, and really help to make this Circle so blessed! We all look forward to your posts, and your beautiful prayers to all, I read your prayer that you posted today, and it's very heartfelt, thank you Deb! We all love you Deb, and may God continue to bless you everyday. Love and prayers to you, dear Deb,
Luv Sandy

12/8/2002 14:32

Hi Selva, it's so nice to hear from you, you're a faithful member of this Circle, reaching out too, in your own grief, and posting to other moms. You have a wonderful, caring heart Selva, and we're so fortunate that you're a member of this Circle! I'm so happy for you that you attended the Seminar on Solange's birthday, it must have been a big help to you. I'm very glad that you enjoyed the Seminar, Support Group, and that you're planning on continuing attending. I know it's going to help you tremendously, and it's so nice to be around other moms and dads that are going through the same thing that you are. We're going to attend our Christmas tribute at our Bereavement Support Group this week, every year they put up a Christmas tree, and they have cut-out Angels, which you put your child's picture on, and then place it on the tree, along with all the other Angels. Our Bereavement Counsellor also lost a child too, and because they know what it's like, just as your's does, they can relate and help us even more. So as I said, I think it's wonderful that you liked it, and will receive much-needed support from it, as well as this Circle! Thanks for reminding us Selva of the candle lighting ceremony, isn't it going to be a wonderful event! All those candles lit, the world over, reaching up to Heaven, to our precious children! Much love and prayers to you dear Selva,
Luv Sandy

12/8/2002 15:04

Hello Everyone! ~ I pray that God will give each of us those precious moments of peace for which we all pray!

Hi Sandy! ~ I enjoyed that fwd page sooo much! It lifted my spirits at a time I needed it the most. So, I decided that I would copy/paste, and share it and my email respose to you! :) I just know it will bless all the moms who read it, and I hope you know just how special you are to all of us who post here! God bless you always!
Much love,
[PS. ~ I hope I do this copy/paste right and that it will be submitted on the first click!] :)

T H E " W " I N C H R I S T M A S

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful
I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing,
endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found
myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and
of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting
season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for
school's "Winter Pageant." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be
working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining
moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress
rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend
that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed
happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early,
found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I
saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I
waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by
their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by
one, rose to perform their song.

Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the
holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun,
commercial entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes
and good cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love,"
I was slightly taken aback by its bold title.

Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy
mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in
the front row- center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to
spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for
Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy,"
and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented
complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a
small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down
totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience of 1st
through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had
no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding
her "W".

Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter
continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together.
A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant,
we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday
the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our
For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and
"CHRISTWAS LOVE" And, I believe, He still is.

Author unknown

12/8/2002 15:12

Sandy, ~ As we often say, there are no accidents, and everything happens for a reason. And, just as it happened in this case, if we are patient, in time ... In God's time, the answers will be given unto us, and all the things we experience in life, no matter how painful, in the end, will prove that we are much stronger than we ever dreamed we were.

A quiet, reflective day for me, as I am sure it is for all of us bereaved moms. And like all the moms at our prayer circle, I look forward to joining you and the other bereaved moms all over the world in the candle lighting ceremony tonight at 7:00 PM.

I just know that we will feel our guardian angels spirits as we here on earth, light our candles as a tribute to each of them, and to remind them just how very much we love them and miss them so! Of course there will be tears ... But some of them will be tears of joy: To think that finally, the entire world will join hands with us -- In a manner of speaking -- to let our children know that they will always be remembered and never, ever will they be forgotten! Thank you for sharing this fwd page with us moms. You truly are one of God's very special angels, and so are all of our bereaved moms! May God richly bless and keep each and every bereaved Mom and their child/children in heaven as well as here on earth, in His loving care!
Much love to you and all Bereaved Moms everywhere!

12/8/2002 16:36

Dear ckbryson ~ After reading your post, I just wanted to let you know how deeply it touch me! I says a lot about you, your precious daughter, Lisa, and your precious granddaughter, Nikita. As we say down south ... Out of the mouths of babies! :) May God richly bless both you and your precious little granddaughter always!

Your post brought back memories of one of the poems that God gave to me just months before my daughter's death. I have always felt that forgiving others is so Christlike. Sometimes that's a very hard thing to do. At the time that I wrote this poem on forgiving, I had no idea that I would have to forgive someone for causing my daughter's death. Still ... the words of that poem helped me greatly. I saw it and the other poems God gave to me in rapid sessions as spiritual guides to help me survive my daughter's death. I have shared it before, but would like to share it again here and with new members of our prayer circle. I was led to call this poem:

One Way

When we kneel to pray
We always say
And forgive us ...
as we forgive.
But still we go
from day to day
unwilling to forgive.
Sometimes I wonder
as I travel
this road of life
so filled with strife ...
"And forgive us"
Is this a one way street ...
Or what?

Please give Nikita a (((((BIG HUG))))) from all of us Moms here at the prayer circle ... And a very special
~ ~ ~ HEAVENLY HUG ~ ~ ~
from her precious Mom, ~ Lisa ~ from heaven! :) See you both tonight at the candel light service.

12/8/2002 19:15

hi Verna, Sandy ,Deb and all your beautiful Angel Moms. It is 7pm in Miami, I lighted a candle for my Solange, for Shane , Diane and all of our Angels that God have called. I'm praying that God will kkep them under His care and Love, to show them the Light and the Peace they all deserve, and to help us moms to keep on, until the time that He calls on us to be with our children agein, in Heaven. May God Bless all of you and my prayers are with all of your children and mine and for all of us parents. May He keeps his promise that will all will be with our children again in Heaven. In the name of The Father, The Son and The Holly Spirit AMEN.

12/8/2002 19:22

Dear Kmcghee , ~ God bless you for posting a prayer request for your friends who lost their precious 12 year old daughter, Nicole. All the bereaved moms who post here will tell you that the pain of losing a child is unlike any other loss! Only those who have lost a child or children can know what that pain is like. With their loss being so recent, they are in so much pain! Please know that I will remember these parents and their entire family in my heartfelt prayers. Having lost an adult daughter tragically, I can relate to what they are going through, God bless them. They will definitely be prayed for here! Again, God bless you for posting a prayer request on their behalf.
Much love,

12/8/2002 19:51

Dear Kanehi09 ~ I will also be praying for your brother who lost his precious son, Donald. I lost my only surviving brother to suicide on July 1, 2001. I can tell you that your precious nephew is now resting in the arms of Jesus and His unconditional love, just as the rest of our children are. I pray that God will send your brother a sign to let him know that Donald is alive and happy in heaven with our Lord and Savior. I will send up a special prayer during the candle light service tonight that God will ease your brother's pain and give him moments of peace as time goes by. It takes a lot of time, but the grief and pain that he is feeling now won't always be so intense. I also lost my 36 year old daughter tragically and without warning as a result of drunk driving back in 1996. So, I can relate to the pain that your brother is in. Just be there for him and support him in every way that you can. Let him know that you are hurting too! Sometimes, bereaved parents feel that others go on just as though nothing has changed. These moms will tell you that when we lose a child, our lives are changed forever. Dads grieve differently in that -- most try to keep it inside -- But their pain is just as deep! With much help and support, we moms learn ways to live with the grief, but life as we once knew it has changed forever. God bless you for making this prayer request for your dear brother.
Much love,

12/8/2002 20:04

Dear Kmcghee, ~ Sorry about the mistake. I meant to say your cousin and his wife. I was rushing to be on time for the candle light service for all our children! See you all there!
Much love,

12/9/2002 12:28

Hello dearest Verna, it's so nice to see you posting again! I'm happy the forward I sent you touched you, and that you shared it here with all. I agree, Verna, there are no accidents, everything unfolds in God's time, and yes, one day we will know the why's of our lives, especially why we were chosen to lose one of our children early, and yes, it will prove to us that God has given us much inner strength during our lifetime! I lit my candle last night, with the joy that so many, many other moms around the world were lighting their's too, and especially the beloved moms and children of this Circle. I felt joy and sadness, as I'm sure many other moms did too, lighting their own candle, remembering their precious child, and those of other parents. Thank you for your kind words, Verna, but everyone here on these pages is an Angel too, we're like one big family, and I truly believe that Our Lord has blessed this Circle of love, support and prayers. YES, may God richly bless each and every mom and their child/children in Heaven, in His loving care! I read your beautiful poem, it's very touching, thank you for sharing it with all. Much love and prayers to you dearest Verna,
Luv Sandy

12/9/2002 12:47

Hello dearest Selva, wasn't it wonderful to light our candles, remember our child, and know that so many others were doing the same thing! I kept my candle buring for an hour, from 7-8, talking to my Shane, and praying for all the other children that have gone home to their Heavenly reward. It was sad at times, I miss my Shane so much, and thinking of all the other moms and dads in the world who are grieving for their child/children too. I felt Shane close to me, so that brought me joy, mixed emotions about it, as I'm sure all you moms and those around the world did too. Our children are now filled with the light of God, and His love, which surpasses all others. And yes, Selva, one day when it's our turn, we will see our much loved child again! God bless you too, dear Selva, and my prayers are with you and Solange, and every other wonderful mom and their child here at the Circle. All of you are amazing women, filled with faith, and I love you all, and feel very blessed to have come to know you all, everyone who posts here is special to me! Much love and prayers to you Selva, and I pray that your days are filled with some peace,
Luv Sandy

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