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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

11/24/2002 12:23

[part 5]
There have been things ... (AWFUL) things, that I have thought, said, and done, during the early stages of grieving the loss of my daughter, Diane. I have often told others that the kind of things that I am talking about, I wouldn't tell God, if He didn't already know! :) But, God knew my thoughts .. Even before satan took control and advantage of my mind while I was under the influence of grieving the loss of my precious child!

God knew all the tricks and mind games that satan would use to destroy my faith in God. God saw to it that satan -- though he stole my will to live (for a while) -- he could not steal or destroy my faith in a loving and caring God! That's why it fills my heart with such lasting joy to tell other bereaved parents; especially the newly bereaved, that what God has done for me, and so many, many other bereaved parents, He stands ready and willing ... And, make no mistake about it, He is able to do for you!

So, I say to all newly bereaved Moms, don't worry about how long you will grieve deeply the loss of your precious child! Don't worry about when the healing of your shattered heart will begin! Just believe that in time ... It will happen! It will! You have God's Word on this! It will happen, in God's appointed time ... Not yours, and certainly not mine! Just hold on to your faith in a loving God! The healing of your shattered heart is taking place, and one day you will discover just how strong you really are!

Then, will you be able to tell others how God has, and continues to sustain you as you continue on your own grief journey! Only then will you be able to fully appreciate that your faith in God has, indeed, set you free of the feelings of hopelessness!

Again, we will always grieve the loss of our child/children, but in time -- in God's time -- it will become easier to bear!
For now ...
We know that our guardian angels are with us always! And though we miss their physical presence, with just a little effort on our parts, we can feel the comfort of their nearness and the unconditional and undying love that we share, just as we feel, or will someday feel the comfort and nearness of God's unconditional and undying love ... with just a little effort on our part.

11/24/2002 12:25

[part 6]
When will these things begin to happen? Only in God's appointed time! So, take all the time you need to grieve the loss of your precious child! Again, as much we would like for things to be different ... we will never get over losing our precious child/children. But, thanks to our Lord and Savior;
It helps to know that the pain will become easier to bear.

It also helps to know that our child/children are alive and well in heaven, with God ... They are performing their heavenly duties, and looking forward to greeting us at the gates of heaven! Until then, our Lord and Savior will continue to provide us with the strength we need as we continue on our grief journey!

Thank God ... We will embrace our children again when our work grief, and work on earth is finished! And for this, we all are extremely grateful!

11/24/2002 12:27

[part 7]
Most precious Father ~

Thank You, God, for giving Your only begotten Son, Jesus, to die on the cross, to pay for our sins ... So that we would have the right to live forever in Your kingdom someday ... With all our beloved children and all of our family members and friends! Thy kingdom come! In Jesus' Holy name, Amen!

As for me ... This Thanksgiving, and Everyday ...

I am thankful ...
~For my faith in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ...
~For the many things which God has revealed to me and to
many others through the years ...
~For signs and wonders ... a penny here, a dove there, an
angel garden, a lit candle, a fond memory shared ...
shared with unconditional love ... a shared poem ... a caring
post ... a heartfelt prayer to a newly bereaved
Mom ... for moments of peace ...
I am thankful ...
~For family and friends ... who held me up when I couldn't stand
alone ...
~For being able to type these words and share my thoughts with
other bereaved parents ... near and far ...
~For Sandy, and this wonderful Prayer Circle of Love ... which
she created for her precious and beloved Shane ...
~For God leading me and other bereaved Moms to this Circle of
~For all the Moms I who submit posts ... whether it's to express
their own grief or share another Mom's grief and pain ...
I am thankful ...
~For those who have not lost a child/children, but post prayers
and words of comfort for those of us who have ...
~For the opportunity to pray for bereaved Moms and their
families ...
~For the many prayers that have been prayed for me and my
family ...
I am thankful ...
~For God not giving up on me ...
~For God forgiving me for being angry with Him ...
~For God's forgiving me when I mess up ... Even now ...
~For God giving me a chance to try again and again ...
~For peaceful moments ...
~For God's unconditional love ...
~For God teaching me that the greatest gift a person can give ...
Is love!

~For all of these reasons ...

And ...

11/24/2002 12:29

~For my wonderful husband of 42 years ... God willing 43 years
on Dec. 24, 2002 ...
~For our first born (Diane) ...a child loaned ...
[Thank You, God, for sharing Diane with me and family!]
~For Cheryl, our beautiful and compassionate surviving
daughter ...
~For our precious grandson ...
~For Auntie, [MaDear devoted and only sister who took care
of her to the end!]
~For our entire family who pitched in to help out with MaDear ...
~For my sisters, Pearl, Elaine, and Mildred ... and their wonderful
families ...
~For my loving stepdaughter, Dinah ... And her daughter ...
Alethia & son, Leroy ...
~For my step great-grandchildren, Jason & Noah Leviticus ...
[Alethia's little sons]
~For my niece, Tammy and her precious daughter, Antone'
~For my sister-in-laws ... Mary, (Ora Lee - recently deceased), &
Alice ...
~For all of my relatives, near and far ... Louisiana, Mississippi,
California, Illinois, Ohio, Missouri, and Oklahoma ...
[many of whom I have never met]. [Too many to name them all!]
~For my husband's entire family, [The Slates] ... Who came in
forces when we lost Diane ...
I am thankful to God ...
~For allowing me to love, teach, and spoil all of my regular ed.
(11 years, and special students -- 17 years) throughout the 25
years I taught in the school system ...
~For giving me the will and strength to go on teaching for the
remaining 3 years after losing Diane ...
~For proving to me that the age old saying is true ... That in spite
of my doubts ...
~God really does know just how much we can bear ...
I thank God ...
~For renewing my faith daily ... And ...
I am sooo thankful ...
~For God whispering in Sandy's ear! :) ...
~For our prayer circle and all who post here ...
~For God sending us help and encouragement on valley days ...
~For God giving us those hilltop days ...
I am thankful to God ...
~For each breath that I take ...
~For the free gift of life ...
~For the healing of my fingers ... my faith ... my soul ...
~For the continuing healing of my shattered heart ...
~For health; the ability to see, hear, talk, walk ...
~For answering the many, many prayers that we pray for
family and bereaved Moms/Parents everywhere ...
~For the many opportunities God has given to me
to reach out to others ...
~For the chance to love and be loved ...
~For the wisdom to forgive as I am forgiven ...

But most of all ... I am thankful ...
~For God's promise that we will embrace our children ...
and other loved ones again someday!

~For God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ...

~For all of the reasons listed above ...

And ...

~For having more reasons to be thankful than I am able to list here on these pages ...

~I am indeed ...


~God's Peace, & Angel's Blessings to All!


11/24/2002 13:48

Dear Lord let all of the parents on this site have a beautiful Thanksgiving, let there memories be filled with wonderful thoughts and memories of all our children who are no longer with us in body but are with us in spirit. I remember when we found out our older son Joe had cancer he would ask me if he was going to die,I would answer I'm not going to let you,and I feel I haven't he and his brother are always in my thoughts everyday,in fact it seems I can feel their presence more than ever.May the LORD be with all of you on this holiday coming up,and all my prayer and thoughts are with each of you. Peggy

11/24/2002 19:47

Dearest Verna, thanks for clearing up my confusion over Thanksgiving!, :) It doesn't take me to confuse me these days, ha, ha! So I'll repost later this week.
A beautiful post from you, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said about moms and the grieving process, we've all going through it, some just beginning their Journey, other's farther along, and all of us of course can relate strongly to what you've so eloquently put! And another beautiful prayer for all, our love and prayers are always with you,
Luv Sandy

11/24/2002 19:56

Hello, my name is Cheryl. I am Chadds Mom. I became a member of this circle on 10-08-02 (one of the many nights that I could not sleep). I wrote to Shanes Mom and she wrote me back. As I read your postings, I know that I am not alone in my grief. My son Chadd died June 30th of complications of Juvenile Diabetes. Eight days later, my best friend Judy died after being hit by a drunk driver. This has undoubtly been the worst year of my life. The pain and grief that I feel each and every day is sometimes unbearable. Judy was like the sister I never had.... the person I could always talk to..... and now she is gone.
Chadd was my fisrt born and only son. My entire life was spent worrying and taking care of him. I know in my heart that he no longer needs me to to that but my heart breaks every time I look at his beautiful picture.
The upcoming holidays are already starting to affect me. It is our first holiday without my son and best friend. Our families are getting together to help each other in the healing.
I know that Chadd and Judy are with Our Lord and are looking down on us every day.
As I read all the postings on this site, I realize that I was so lucky to have had my son for the 30 years he was on this earth. So many of you were not able to have your blessed children with you even that long.
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and I await the day when I can see my son and friend again and we can all be together in Heaven.
I pray that each and every one of your families have a blessed Thanksgiving and you can get through these holidays.
May God bless all of you and thank you for sharing your stories with the rest of us. It really helps to know that I am not alone.
In Gods Love,

11/24/2002 19:59

Hello Peggy, gosh, it's so nice to see a post from you again, it's been a while, missed you! We wish the same for you on Thanksgiving Peggy, the Holidays must be so very difficult for you, losing both your sons. You're a strong, courageous woman, and your great faith has no doubt helped you through some very painful times. I think that's wonderful what you said to your Joe about dying, he didn't die, our children only shed their bodies, and now live in spirit, which is Eternal. You kept your promise to him, and now he and his brother are forever in your heart and on your mind, and that's such a blessing that you can feel them around you, it's so comforting, isn't it, to have that strong feeling that they're around. God is so good to us grieving Moms! Love and prayers to you Peggy, and I pray you're doing better, having more moments of peace,
Luv Sandy

11/24/2002 20:25

Hello Cheryl, it's really good to hear from you again too, I often wonder how moms are doing after they first post. You ARE a member of this Circle, and please post here whenever you feel like it, we all love, support, pray and care for each other, and there's no judging here, whatever you're feeling, this is a safe place to express your feelings. You're never alone here in your grief! I'm so sorry to read about your best friend Judy, her passing coming so close on the heels of your precious Chad's. You've lost two important people in your life, your beloved Chad, and your best friend, loved uniquely in their own way, what a very painful year this has been for you as you say. The 'firsts' of everything the first year are very, very difficult, and very painful to go through. I think that's wonderful that you and Judy's family are getting together, supporting each other, and the love you have for each other, the common bond of Chad and Judy, will help to make it a little more bearable for you and them. I think you're very brave for even attending the get-together, that first year for me, I couldn't bear being around other people, let alone celebrate anything. But i know that even though you'll be all together, your thoughts and your heart will be filled with memories of Holidays past, spent with your Chad, and your best friend. God love you sweetie, I know how painful it all is for you right now. I believe also that everything has a reason, and when it's our turn to pass, and be reunited with our child and loved ones, we'll finally know that reason and understand why. Please post and let us know how your Thanksgiving went, or post whenever you want!, our love and prayers are with you always and especially during this most difficult of times,
Luv Sandy

11/25/2002 13:19

AMEN. Thank you Verna for that beautiful post, it made me realize that I still have to Thank God for many things, I was not ready for it for I was kind of angry at HIM for taking Solange so soon, but at least He let me keep her for almost 21 years. I won't be celebrating any of these Holidays for I will be praying a lot, for all of you wonderful Angels in this circle, for all new bereaved moms like myself and for our children that have found the Peace and Love in Heaven. Thank God for this Circle and all these caring moms. All my love. Selva

11/26/2002 01:43

Heavenly Father, please bless the soul of Matthew - take him into your heart and grant him your mercy, love and guidance. May he rest eternally in heaven. Matthew is the 20year old son of my cousin Julie - Matthew died on Sunday of affixiation - we do not know if it was intentional or accidental. Thank you for your prayers.
Cindy, Mother to Angel Kristina

11/26/2002 10:32

Hi Cin, I know that Matthew is resting in Our Lord's arms. I'm so sorry to hear of his passing, but as I told you, you will be a great source of comfort and support to your cousin and family. May Our Lord wrap His loving arms around this family at this terrible time for them right now, and give them the necessary strength to deal with the days ahead. Our love and prayers go out to the family, Cin, and to you too. God bless you!
Luv Sandy

11/26/2002 21:40

Shaner-May the healing presence of Jesus comfort you. As a mother you inspire me with your love and generosity. You are in my prayers.

11/27/2002 08:22

God Bless everyone this Thanksgiving Day tomorrow as we gather together with family and friends. Let us all remember Our Lord and be thankful for what we do have. Our loved one is with us in spirit, we can know that for sure. I am thankful for each and everyone one of you Precious Moms out there and I pray for the peace of The Lord to be your strength over the holidays as difficult as they can be to celebrate. God Bless you all. I love you! Love, Yvonne<><

11/27/2002 09:14

Hello tilloo7, thank you for your kind words and prayers, this Circle is blessed by Our Lord, and all the wonderful caring Moms on these pages. May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/27/2002 09:21

Hello Yvonne, it's so nice to hear from you again, I know it's been a difficult time for you. I agree with you in prayer for a peace-filled Thanksgiving for everyone tomorrow, even though tomorrow may be difficult, we all have many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful for this wonderful Circle and all the amazing Moms who post here, I love you all too, you're all in my prayers and love. God bless you too Yvonne, and lots of love to you,
Luv Sandy

11/27/2002 15:33

Hi Verna, Sandy, Ivonnne and all of you wonderful moms from this Circle. You will be in my prayers tomorrow, I will spending it alone, it will be my first without my Solange, and to tell you the true I rather be alone with God. I tried to go on to help at the Miami Rescue Mission, but I did'nt have time enough to go for an orientation, the next one will be Dec 10, so I will be ready for Christmas. Please pray for me. It is so very difficult these days. I went to my Dr. today and my blood pressure is very high, he gets mad at me because I don't stop smoking, but right now I can.t.I will be at my sister's house through tjhe week end and monday I will be back at my office. My love to all of you Angels and may GOD BLESS. Selva

11/28/2002 10:08

Hi Selva, God bless you sweetie, I know what a difficult day Thanksgiving will be for you. Right now all the days are so painful, with just losing Solange a couple of months ago. That's too bad about missing out on the Orientation, but maybe you'll be more up to it anyway at Christmas time. Quitting smoking is very stressful, and you're already under a great deal of stress, so try cutting back for your own health's sake. You spend today doing whatever makes you feel comfortable, your first Holiday without Solange is going to be a hard one, but spending it with God, I can think of no better company! My love and prayers are with you always Selva, and I know Our Lord will be at your side today, helping you to get through it. God bless you, Selva, He's with you always, and so is this Circle. Much love to you,
Luv Sandy

11/28/2002 17:57

Thank you Sandy for allways be there. I am alone but I know Solange is here with me. I thank God for let me having her for almost 21 years. She was so beautiful youg girl, everybody loved her for she was always there to help her friends. I thank God for giving me such a beautiful angel. God Bless you all. Selva

11/28/2002 20:14

Hi Selva, we're always here for you. Today is almost over, and even though you were alone physically, your Solange was with you in Spirit, helping her beloved mom through the day. She was a precious gift from God to you, and remember, love never dies, it's eternal, so your love for Solange and her love for you is just as strong as when she was here. She is your bright, shining Angel for you now, and one day you'll be reunited with her. Until then, keep the faith, trust in Our Lord, and things will start to slowly become easier. "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted". I also give thanks to God for giving me my Shane for 24 years, all the joy and love he brought into my life and still does. Have you thought of reading any of the many good books that are out there on grieving the loss of a child? Many of us did, and they gave us much comfort. God bless you sweetie, this is such a rough time of the year when you're newly bereaved, actually it's tough on us all. But the love and support of this Circle is one of the ways that helps us through, and we'll always be here for you. Much love and prayers to you dear Selva,
Luv Sandy

11/30/2002 00:15

Selva, I have want to welcome you to the group,and I'm very sorry about your Solange, but she will always be with you in spirit and in your times of need. Do you have a Chapter of Compassionate Friend in your city (a group of parents who meet monthly all have lost children) if you do try going to some meetings they helped me after we lost our 20 year old son 9 yrs ago. It's more like a therapy group you can talk freely about your feelings because everyone knows what you are going through.Well we all made it thru one holiday I pray to the Lord to give us the strength to make it thru the rest of them this year.Luv to all Peggy

11/30/2002 09:25

Hello Wonderful Moms,
Thanksgiving is now over, and I pray that you all got through the day alright, with peace filling your heart with that one empty spot at the table where your child would have been. I know your child was with all of you in spirit, but it's their physical presence that we miss so much. I pray that the peace of Our Lord filled that longing for you, and that some of you who are further along the Journey even had some good moments, spent with family and friends. For you newly bereaved Moms, the Holiday is now over, and I pray that the pain wasn't too overwhelming on the Holiday. I pray that the love, support, understanding and prayers of this Circle helped all of you with the day. God bless you all, and my love to everyone and my prayers,
Luv Sandy

11/30/2002 13:44

Hello all you beautiful Moms Angels. My Thanksgiving was pretty hard and painful, my first one without Solange. I prayed, tried some meditation and finally took a sleeping pill and went to bed early just to get it over with. Hi Peggy, yes there is such an organization here in Miami called Bethany Group. I will be attending their reunion of preparations for the holidays on Dec 7, that is Solange birthday she would have been 21, looking forward for her birthday so very much. I know God will let her have her party with all the Angels. I'm having a mass for her on Dec 5, and all her friends promised to be there, they would let up 21 ballons on her memory. I wish this holiday seasons passes through very fast. I don't know if I will be able to handle all this pain. I pray to the Lord that He help me these days. Love all Selva

11/30/2002 15:50

Hi Selva, I was worried how your first Holiday would go after losing Solange. But you did what you had to do to get through the day, and now blessedly for you it's over. Yes, Peggy's suggestion is a good one, and I'm glad you're going to attend. I attended a Support Group the 1st year and it was a wonderful help to me. And you won't feel so alone, being with other parents who've lost children also. That's a beautiful way to celebrate Solange's birthday, a Mass, with all her friends there, and letting go 21 balloons, reaching up to Heaven, and Solange reaching to grab them! It'll make the day all the more special, and make you feel better doing something for her on that day. We always have Masses said too on special days, they're comforting to the soul, and a wonderful way to honour your child's life for us Catholics. Before you know it Selva, this Holiday Season WILL be over, and you'll be the stronger for having gotten through it! We all know what a painful time this is for you, but you know by now that you always have us, and our love, understanding and prayers. Much love to you,
Luv Sandy

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