Prayer Circles


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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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SELVAM
11/21/2002 11:48

Thank you Angels Yvonne, Sandy, Verna Deb. You are always there to lift up my heart. Yes I'm going to my sister again today, I'been in the valley days all this week and the months to come. Th Thanksgiving lunch from my office, will be tomorrow, so I decided to take a vac. day, but my co workers surprised me today and they all cooked a little something so I can eat with them today, that really touched my heart.I will keep on praying, sometimes I'm affraid to loose my mind, I don't think Solange will like that to happen so I'm trying to be strong. Love you all. Selva


SELVAM
11/21/2002 11:55

Hi Sheryl. I told you that you will find Angels of love in this site. Please keep coming back, we all share our grief and it makes it a little easier. I will like to share this with you all.
I'M FREE
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free to follow the path God made for me.
I took His hand when I heard Himm Call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day, to love, to laugh, to work and play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way, for I found peace at least that day.
If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembering joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, oh yes these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with heart of sorrow.
My wish for you is the hope of tomorrow.
My life's been full. I've savored much, good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed much too brief. Don't lenghten it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
GOD wanst me now......HE's set me free.


shaner
11/21/2002 12:30

Hello dearest Yvonne, I'm so glad for you that yesterday went alright, although I know it must have had it's painful, bittersweet moments. It must be so nice to have your mother there for you, having gone through her own loss herself and understanding, my own mother passed away over 30 years ago, and how often I wished she had of been here for me. Isn't that nice that Sarah sent you a beautiful card, she must miss Joe so much too! I read in your post to Verna that a friend sent you a card with a Dove on it, I think it was Joe's way of saying I'm still here, Mom and Dad, and I know how hard this day is for you! Yes, those darn telemarketers do always call at dinnertime, :) but that truly was a blessing that Joe's best friend Curtis remembered the day and called you, that's so thoughtful of him! He must be a terrific young man, remembering all the times he spent with Joe, the lasting memories made for him, and reaching out to you and your husband on Joe's Anniversary. That's wonderful that you're so close to him, it must bring you much comfort! I just love it when Shane's friends drop in or we run into them, and they share their own memories of him with us, it always warms our hearts that they still remember, and shows the impact that our child's lives left on other people, other than family. I think it's really special that you and your family have such a close relationship with Curtis! Truly a blessing from God! And it shows what a wonderful family all of you are, that Curtis is like a second son to all of you, I know Aaron will be so happy to see him there as he gives his first sermon! I'm glad that you got through the day as I said, now we all have to get through the upcoming holidays. I'm feeling a little better, had a rough time a month ago, and my Dr. put me on anti-depressants. I think I should have been on them sooner than this when I look back, but even taking them doesn't erase the pain that I and the rest of us still experience. Not looking forward to Christmas, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, our son Chris and his girlfriend are coming home for it, so it'll be a nice, quiet, family Christmas. I'm happy that you wrote back and let us know how the day went, I was worried about you, I know you've been having a rough time too lately, so it was very nice to hear back from you! My love and prayers are with you always, Yvonne, and your family, you're a very caring person yourself and the Circle is blessed by having such wonderful moms such as yourself and everyone else who posts here, I love you all, and I'm blessed by the prayers that all of you say for me! Much love to you and my prayers,
Luv Sandy


shaner
11/21/2002 12:56

Hi Selva, well, you can call yourself an Angel too, you're reaching out in your own grief and posting to other moms, that's so wonderful of you! You have a beautiful, caring heart, and we're all so glad that you're a big part of this Circle now, we're all like family here! As i said, I'm happy that you're with your sister, it's such a hard time for you right now and you need the support of your family, it's too hard on you right now to stay at home by yourself. Oh, wasn't that sweet of your co-workers!! They must be very caring people, and they must think a lot of you! helping you right now with your grief. That's terrific that they're so understanding, it's a big help to you right now. Selva, you're not going to lose your mind, it's the unbearable pain and grief that makes you feel that way, trust me, it's all a reaction to your grief that makes you think that, I thought that I would go crazy myself during that awful first year. Keep up your prayers, and you know that you have our's and our love, always! It must be so difficult for you to work right now, or do you find that it helps you? I loved your poem that you posted for Sheryl, it really says a lot, doesn't it! Take care sweetie, and know that we're always here for you, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


DEBORAHPOO
11/23/2002 04:59

DEAR GOD,
FOR ANOTHER DAY, FOR ANOTHER MINUTE, FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO LIVE AND SRVE YOU, I AM GRATEFUL. PLEASE KEEP ME AND THE OTHER MOMS FREE FROM FEAR OF THE FUTRE, FROM ANXIETY ABOUT TOMORROW, FROM BITTERNESS TOWARDS ANYONE, FROM, COWARDICE IN THE FACE OF DANGER, FROM LAZINESS IN MY DAILY WORK, FROM FAILURE BEFORE OPPORTUNITY, FROM WEAKNESS WHEN YOUR POWER IS AT HAND. BUTFILL ME WITH LOVE THAT KNOWS NO BOUNDS, WITH SYMPATHY THAT REACHES ALL, WITH COURAGE THAT CANNOT BE SHAKEN, WITH FAITH STRONG ENOUGH FOR THE DARKNESS, WITH STRENGHT SUFFICIENT FOR MY TASKS. BE WITH US FOR ANOTHER DAY, AND USE US AS YOU WILL.AMEN.


DEBORAHPOO
11/23/2002 05:07

DEAR SHANER,
THANK YOU FOR THE POST AND I'M REALLY TRYING TO KEEP MY HEAD UP BUT IT'S HARD. I DO MISS MY SON AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEEMY PARENTS BUT I THINK THE VALLEY DAYS ARE BECAUE MY BIRTHDAY IS THE 1ST OF DECEMBER AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S IS THE SECOND AND IT HURTS THAT I'M NOT WITH HER TO CELEBRATE FOR MY SON. APART OF HIM IS IN HER AN I WANT TO BE THERE AND JUST HURTS SO MUCH. I THINK IF WE WHERE TOGETHER THE PAIN WOULDN'T BE SO MUCH. I WOULD SEE MICHAEL IN HER AND WATCH HER GROW UP.

I HAVE FINISED MY SHOPPING AND YOUR RIGHT IT'S HARD FOR US TO KEEP SMILING DURING THESE HOLIDAYS. I DON'T LIKE TO GO TO THE MALL EITHER. I WENT EARLY SO WHEN ALOT OF PEOPLE CAME THATS WHEN I LEFT. I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU ALL WHILE I'M AWAY.

THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND LOVE TO ALL.DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
11/23/2002 05:11

DEAR LOVE2U,
I LOVE READING YOUR POST NO MATTER HOW LONG THEY ARE. THEY MAKE ME CRY AND ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH. SOME TIMES I PRINT THEM JUST TO KEEP REREADING THEM. YOU ALSO LEAVE US WITH SO MANY BEAUTIFUL POEMS AND TAT TAKE ARE BREATH AWAY TOO. LOVE AND PRAYER TO YOU LOVE DEBBY


shaner
11/23/2002 10:27

Hi Deb, gosh yes, that's got to be so painful that you can't see your granddaughter, half of her is Michael, and it would make your life so much happier if the mother would let you and your family be in your lives. Have you tried talking to her about it? Or maybe you have some legal rights, I'm not sure, but it wouldn't hurt to find out. We'll surely pray that her heart is touched by Our Lord, and she lets you have a relationship with her! Yes, that's a good idea, Deb, I'll do my shopping early in the morning too, before the crowds get too big. Love your prayer for all, Deb. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your mom and family, and let us know how it went, our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
11/23/2002 10:41

Hello to all you wonderful Moms, this is Thanksgiving weekend, and my prayer for all of you is that you celebrate it as comfotably as you can, with a peace-filled heart, and that even though we're all carrying heavy crosses, that we remember to thank God for all the blessings He's put into our lives, the best blessing of all, our beloved children who have gone before us. I ask our sweet Lord Jesus to be with all of you, giving you all the strength, love and peace that only He can give. Including our child in some way, by lighting a candle, etc., will help to fill the void and include your much loved child in the day. I know it's still going to be a difficult time for all, but the love, support and prayers of this wonderful Circle that you've all helped to create will be with you all. May you all have a blessed Thanksgiving, my love and prayers are always with you, much love to all,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
11/23/2002 18:48

Hi Sandy. I'm at my sister house. I tried to get in touch with all Miami Rescue mission and Cammilus house for Thanksgiving but no luck, they are overwhelm with volunteers at his time. Tomorrow I will try my best to the people at my chuch St Paul to see if they need a volunteer. In a way I'm happu that so many people care and colunteer for the holidays, but I will be very lonely. My sister which is my half sister will go to her brothers house, so I will be very lonely at that time but I will be with God ans Solange, I will keep on trying to help. I love all of you Angels. and you will be in my prayers all the time Selva


deborahpoo
11/24/2002 04:09

PRICELESS TREASURES

IN ALL OF OUR LIVES THERE ARE TREASURES
MORE PRECIOUS THAN SILVER OR GOLD,
AND NONE OF THESE PRICELESS TREASURES
CAN EVER BE BOUGHT OR SOLD.

THE BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS US ALL
ALONG LIFE'S THOROUGHFARE
ARE TREASURED GIFTS GIVEN BY GOD
FOR EVERYONE TO SHARE.

THE SOUND OF OUR CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER,
AND GOOD AND FAITHFUL FRIENDS
ARE TREASURES WE SHALL CHERISH
TIL OUR LIFE'S JOURNEY ENDS.

LOVE FOR OUR CHILDREN AND THEIR LOVE FOR US
IS MORE PRECIUOS THAN SILVER OR GOLD,
FOR OUR LOVE IS EVERLASTING,
AND CAN NEVER BE BOUGHT OR SOLD!


deborahpoo
11/24/2002 04:14

HI SHANER,
YES I HAVE TALKED TO MY LAWYER SO WE CAN HAE GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS. MY WHOLE FAMILY WANTS TO SEE HER EXSPECIALLY MY SON CHRIS. RIGHT NOW IT'S HARD WITH THE HOLIDAYS AND MY WORK AND SCHOOL SO I HAVE ASKED THE LAWYER TO HAOLD OFF UNTIL THE FIRST F THE YEAR. BUT I KNOW IN TIMEWE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER AND I'M PRAYING SO HARD FOR THAT DAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW THINGS WENT. MY WISH FOR YOU IS TO HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY THANKSGIVINGAND MY LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU. LOVE DEBBY


deborahpoo
11/24/2002 04:25

DEAR FATHER,
YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH LOVING AND KIND FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT I CAN DEPEND ON, AND WORK THAT I LOVE TO DO. WE ARE HEALTHY, AND FOR THAT I GIVE YOU THANKS. WE ARE ALL TRYING TO BE HAPPY AND FOR THAT I GIVE THANKS. WE ARE ALL BLESSED, BUT NO ONE MORE SO THAN ME, YOU HAVE GIVEN US THE GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD AND A FAMILY THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO US, AND I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL, I ASK FOR YOUR STRENGHT AND COURAGE AS THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US. I ASK THIS IN YOUR NAME THE FATHER, AMEN.


shaner
11/24/2002 09:21

Hello Moms, I think I may be a little mixed-up, which is usual for me, :) I thought that I read on the Calendar that this weekend is Thanksgiving in the U.S., am I right, or did I have another 'senior's moment', :) I'm Canadian as some of you know, and we celebrate our's in October, so I relied on my Calendar to let me know when the U.S. celebrates theirs! Of course I meant every word in the post, but am I a week early?? Somebody help me get it straight!!
Luv (an embarassed)
Sandy :)


shaner
11/24/2002 09:36

Hi Selva, I'm happy to hear that you're at your sister's right now, it's probably too lonely and too painful to be at your home by yourself right now! Gosh, if all those places are filled with Volunteers, it shows how many good people there are in the world, doesn't it. I hope they have something at your own St. Paul's that they need you for, I'd hate to think of you being alone for Thanksgiving! You're right Selva, you're never alone with God, and I know that Solange will be there with her precious mom to help ease the day. Let us know how it went at St. Paul's, and remember too, you've got all of us, if you're having a really difficult day on Thanksgiving, post here, and one of us will try to help you through it. Much love and continued prayers to you dear Selva,
Luv Sandy


shaner
11/24/2002 09:37

Hi Selva, I'm happy to hear that you're at your sister's right now, it's probably too lonely and too painful to be at your home by yourself right now! Gosh, if all those places are filled with Volunteers, it shows how many good people there are in the world, doesn't it. I hope they have something at your own St. Paul's that they need you for, I'd hate to think of you being alone for Thanksgiving! You're right Selva, you're never alone with God, and I know that Solange will be there with her precious mom to help ease the day. Let us know how it went at St. Paul's, and remember too, you've got all of us, if you're having a really difficult day on Thanksgiving, post here, and one of us will try to help you through it. Much love and continued prayers to you dear Selva,
Luv Sandy


shaner
11/24/2002 09:47

Hi Deb, well, I.ve done it myself, double the post, double the blessing! Oh, I'm so happy that you've already talked to a lawyer about your rights, and once the New Year begins, I know that your prayer will be answered and you'll have your granddaughter in your lives! What a wonderful gift that would be for all of you! Loved your poem that you posted, love is a priceless treasure. Have a safe trip for Thanksgiving, and my prayers are with you that you and your family have a wonderful reunion, and a blessed day. Love and prayers to you Deb,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:04

Hi Dear Sandy! ~ Don't feel bad -- I think we all have our senior moments from time to time! :) I know I do! We celebrate Thanksgiving in the US this year on Thursday, November 28th. I believe it is celebrated on the last Thursday in November each year, but I am not sure about this... I'll have to look it up! Ha-ha! At my age, sometimes I can only handle one thought at a time! Ha-ha!


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:13

~ A THANKSGIVING MESSAGE FROM LOVE2U ~

[part 1]

Gosh the Holidays and Special Days can be so hard on us! :(

Dear Sandy,(Shaner), and all Bereaved Moms ~

I was just thinking of all Bereaved Moms today and suddenly I felt the need to submit one of my extremely long posts. The first time I tried to submit, it didn't take, so I will be submit in parts! :)

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, my mind is filled with the desire to reach out with words of compassion and heartfelt prayers for all who have lost a child. I know God will see us through these upcoming holidays, as well as all our special days ... Giving us moments of peace as we continue on our grief journey... Minimizing our sad memories more and more as time goes by ...

Replacing grief with warm and tender moments of joy that we shared with our Precious Child/Children in days gone by.


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:15

[part 2]
It is with the deepest of sympathy and compassion that I pray for parents who had only a short time to experience the joy many other moms shared with their beloved child/children in days gone by. For these parents, the grief and loss that they feel runs just as deep as it does for those of us who got to share fond moments as well as the sad moments that shattered our hearts when God called our precious angels back to Himself. There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that the unconditional love bond between a Mother and her child exists from the moment of conception! Although their will always be the question of "Why" when we lose a precious child ... In such cases as the one that I am addressing, I suspect that God, for reasons we will never understand, this side of heaven, chose to hold on to those very, very special angels ... Reasons that will be revealed to these very special Moms, the moment they arrive in heaven, and see and hold their precious angel/angels in their arms ... Some, for the very first time! Imagine, if you will ... The joy that awaits these special Moms! Gosh, I get chills just thinking about the joy they will know FOREVER! So, as we hold on to our fond memories of our children ... let us storm heaven with prayers for our very special Moms, also.


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:17

[part 3]
For those precious memories -- no matter how briefly shared, will be cherished always -- And, thank God, no one can take those memories away!

Again, I thank God for giving us the strength to make it through the valley days, the special days, all the holidays, which are so different for us bereaved moms now :( But most of all, I thank God for giving us those hilltop days ... Those peaceful moments from time to time ... As we continue on our journey. Thank God, we know deep in our hearts, we are never alone in our sorrow! We know God and our own precious guardian angel are right by our side. I pray that each bereaved Mom will feel their presence throughout the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays! We will experience sad moments, but it helps to know that others will be thinking of us and praying for us throughout the holiday seasons! Praise God!


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:18

As for me ...

I have so much to be thankful for ... As I recall the words of a favorite song, I am reminded: "Even after all I have been through" ... "Still I find joy!"

For those of us who have lost a child ... and in some cases, children ... To seek joy in the mist of grieving our loss, at times, seems so very impossible. As a matter of fact, it seems unrealistic for any newly bereaved parent to think of seeking any measure of joy early on in their grieving process. It takes a lot of time to get to that place in our grieving ... Sometimes, it takes many years before we reach this point in our grieving process. Grief is something you cannot put a time limit on. However, the moment it happens ... The moment you discover that you have arrived, you will know it!

For the first 3 - 5 years, my grief was so unbearable, I prayed more times than I care to admit, asking God to please let me die! During those painful years, (I experienced a few moments of peace throughout some days), but it seemed that every time I made a little progress, moving on, something or someone would remind me of my loss ... And each time this happened, I felt as though I would never make any progress in my grieving process. I did not know that I WAS making progress! :) So, I tried to persuade God to just let me die!


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:19

You see ... I didn't know that giving in and expressing my grief was, in itself, a necessary part of the healing of my shattered heart and soul!!! It is said that unexpressed, grief, can cause health problems for the bereaved. It is also believed that it can actually shorten one's life span! Fortunately for me, (Sandy and the other Moms will tell you the same thing), God knew that I didn't really want to die; That what I really wanted was to stop hurting! Only, I didn't know this was how losing a child makes a Mom feel!

Many of our bereaved Moms have stated this was how they felt during the beginning stages of grieving the loss of their child/children! This has to be especially true for our newly bereaved Moms (God bless them), who have just recently lost a precious child. Please know that the pain will become easier to bear ... It just takes a lot of time! So, as Sandy and many other Moms and I have advised ... You must give yourself all the time YOU feel you need to grieve your loss! Do whatever works best for YOU! Just know that ... In time ... the grief will become easier to bear. As Sandy and other moms and I have said so many, many times ... The loss of a child is a mother's worst nightmare! The grief that you feel is unlike any you have ever known or ever will know! Still ... God sees to it that we are never alone, and He comforts us during the early stages and throughout our grief journey ... providing those precious moments of peace for which we all pray.


LOVE2U
11/24/2002 12:22

[part 4]
For bereaved Moms everywhere -- Especially our newly bereaved Moms -- I join Sandy, Yvonne, Debby, and many other bereaved Moms who are a little farther along on our grief journey here at our circle of prayer in praying that God will wrap His loving arms around each and every one of you, and give you the kind of peace that passes all understanding! For, only God can give this kind of peace!

It took years before I began to recognize my moments of peace, which usually followed the expression of indescribable grief! Eventually, I began to recognize and appreciate those few moments ... even if they didn't last for very long!

In the very early stages, my peace would only last for a few seconds at a time! So, I did not look upon few seconds as something I should be thanking God for! Besides, I was still so very hurt, and angry with God for allowing my child to die! I felt that both me and my daughter had been totally abandoned by God! All the things I had been taught to believe about God seemed to me to be a big lie! All I could think of for a long time was ... "How could a loving God do this to me and my child!" I couldn't seem to stop thinking about the fact that had He wanted to, God could have saved my child! It literally took an entire year, and a whole lot of people praying for me, during this awful period, before I found the strength to cry out to God, to admit to myself, first of all, that without Him, I could do nothing ... Let alone regain my will to go on living! I learned the hard way that I could do nothing to work through my anger, my indescribable grief, and allow the healing of my shattered heart to begin! Not without God's help, I couldn't!

 
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