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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

11/9/2002 13:00

Hi Selva, Verna must be OK, I received a couple of fwd.'s from her in my e-mail this morning. She's very busy lately, working on a book that is to be ready by Spring for publishing. Yes, Selva we all understand your awful pain, we've all experienced it ourselves, and still do when we're having bad days, or 'valley days' as we call them here. So you're in the best of company! I'm sorry to hear about your Doctor losing a child also, but she can give you very good advice and support, having gone through it herself.
I think that's a wonderful idea to spend the weekend at your sister's, you won't be as lonely, and hopefully get some much needed sleep. She sounds like a wonderful sister, being there for you and giving you her love and support right now when you need it the most! Our Lord is surely looking after you! Try and have a restful weekend, and I pray that you'll have some peace in your heart, much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/11/2002 09:44

Good Morning Wonderful Moms! Monday, the start of a brand new week, and all that it brings. Today we honour our fallen soldiers, God bless them all. Today I wish and pray for all of you a peace-filled week ahead, may God's Spirit fill all your hearts with the peace that only He can give. Much love and prayers to you all,
Luv Sandy

11/11/2002 10:11

Hi Sandy. I'm glad to hear from you and that Verna is OK. I spent the weekend at mys sister, she is indeed a wonderful person and very understanding too I thank God for having so many good people around me, specially at this time of my life that it's so very hard to go on every day.I will keep on praying. Selva

11/11/2002 12:35

Hi Selva, nice to hear from you again! I hope you had a restful weekend at your sister's, and were able to get some much needed rest. Praise God that you've got such a wonderful, caring sister, there to help you when you need it! And of course you have all of us too, so you're not alone. Have a peaceful day, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/12/2002 01:44

I sit hear reading all the prayers from everyone who has lost someone they love dearly. Tomorrow, the 12th of November is the day my youngest daughter was born, and also the day she was murdered. It has been four years ago, but seems like yesterday. I am honored and blessed to be able to raise her daughter, my granddaughter. There are times I feel so alone with this pain, but know that many others also are feeling it too. With God's help and Grace, this "wave of grief" will subside to a better day.
Lisa's Mom

11/12/2002 03:47

Hello Selva and Everyone! Yes, I'm OK. :) Sorry to be so long posting again. As Sandy said, I have been quite busy working on my book project. I still have a lot of research and I must do before the first of the year. In addition to working on the book, I have learned that I will really have to do a much better job of followintg my doctor's orders concerning my diabetes. I was told that I must stop staying up all night no matter how much I enjoy it. :) I have been doing much better eating right and taking my medication on schedule, so she didn't walk out on me. She just advised me to get more rest, and to work on my sleep schedule, so that is what I have been trying to do. I am really praying for help on doing this.:) I will try to make this my last late night post! :)

Selva, I am keeping you and all the other moms in my prayers! My heart goes out to you and all the other moms during these special days that are coming up. It is so hard, I know, but as Sandy has said, someday it will get a little easier to handle or manage the pain you are feeling so intensly during this very early stage. It is painfully something that we all have to go through to allow the healing of our broken hearts to heal enough for us to continue on our grief journey. There is no time limit on this kind of grief. So, don't be too hard on yourself. Pamper yourself and allow time for the healing to begin. All of us here will be sending up prayers to help get you and all of us through the upcoming holidays and special days. These special days are always hard on us, but with prayer, we manage to make it through. God bless each and everyone, and I will keep everyone in my heartfelt prayers. I may not get to post as often as I would like, but Sandy, I will fwd a page or two now and then to let you know that I'm ok and please let the other moms know until I can post again. I am so far behind in checking my emails, but will do so sometime soon. Cheryl and I will go speak at a MADD (VIP) meeting tomorrow night. Then, I will begin working on my first assignment from my new consultant for my book project. My first artistic milestone: Between now and January 20, 2003, she has challenged me to write 75 to 100 draft pages (or more) on chapters and/or topics that I have not covered! This is my mission! So, wish me luck! :) Peace and blessings to everyone.

11/12/2002 03:59

Hi again everyone. I forgot to mention a beautiful site I visited recently. I learned about it through an email from the state coordinator for MADD-VIP. It's a very sad story, but this mom has done such a beautiful tribute, I just wanted to invite everyone to visit the site and say a prayer for her and her family. Thanks!

11/12/2002 10:10

Hello ckbryson (Lisa'a Mom). Welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry to read about your precious daughter, Lisa, losing her to a murder. And today you're hit with a double whammy, her birthday and her Anniversary of her passing. It must be so difficult for you! I pray today that you'll remember some of the good memories of your Lisa, the love and joy she brought into your life, and the child she left for you to raise, a big part of Lisa herself. I hope by reading some of these pages you'll realize you're not alone, we all have lost a child, or in some cases children, and we all have experienced that awful pain that comes with it, so please, whenever you're feeling down, or just want to talk, vent, post here, we all support each other with love, understanding, compassion and prayers. There isn't any worse pain in the world, is there, than to lose a beloved child. We send our love and prayers for you today, as you commemorate Lisa's Anniversary, and every other day too. May the Holy Spirit touch your heart today, and make the day more bearable for you. God bless you Lisa's Mom, and our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy

11/12/2002 10:29

Good Morning, Lord! ~ Oh, how I thank You for this beautiful day! Thank You for family and friends, and even the many whom we sometimes view as strangers -- around us -- who are really angles in disguise! Not all are, but that's not my worry! The important thing is, I thank You because of the many You have placed around me throughout my many years on this earth, to help guide me in the direction You wanted me to go. Lord, You know that if I had been given a choice, I would not have chosen this cross of a lifetime! Neither would any of the Moms who are also carrying the heavy cross of losing a precious child, and in some cases children. Lord, we can't see the joy that awaits us; but by faith, we know that it will be worth the wait, Just to embrace our precious children and other loved ones again! And all the grief and pain that we have endured during our grief journey here on earth will be no more! Thank You for all the many miracles You continue to reveal to me and others by way of your Holy Spirit. And Lord, I thank You for those peaceful moments ... Those precious peaceful moments that seem to come so suddenly out of nowhere! ... Moments of peace from within ... Absent of grief and pain! ... Moments that are filled with purpose, and a renewed spirit! Lord, forgive me for complaining as I express my gratitude, this morning ... But, sometimes, I wish for more moments like these! Not just for me ... but also for my many, many friends whom I have met who are struggling with the weight of losing their precious child/children the same as I. Lord, how I thank You for all who post here at bereaved parents! I truly believe each and every one who post here as well as elsewhere are Your angels in training ... Some ... just beginning, Others ... a little longer on this road ... Both chosen by You ... To take the time to pour out their hearts in a safe place such as this, knowing they will never be judged. Thank You for giving us the strength to reach out, and discover the joy of giving support as often as we can ... Not only to support each other as we continue on our grief journey, but also to reach back to the newly bereaved ... As they continue to join us ... to remind them of Your unconditional love and support; especially during the very early stages of their grieving process. Thank You, again Lord, for keeping Your loving arms around us during our valley days, our special days, and during the holidays. Help us to recognize all of the many blessings You keep right on sending to us, even as we continue on our journey of grief. Lord, I pray that You will continue to send us signs and wonders! Let us feel our children's spirit around us! Give us dreams, dear Lord ... Dreams in which we get to embrace our precious children from time to time! Thank You, Father! It is in Your name ... The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ... that I pray this special prayer...Amen!

11/12/2002 11:13

Dear Lisa's Mom, ~ I just clicked on to submit my prayer post above and saw your post. I remember reading it very early this morning just before signing off, so I added you and your family to the list of people I pray for daily. My heart goes out to you on this, your special day. I join the other moms in praying for you today, and in the days ahead. It has been a little over six years since I lost my daughter as a result of drunk driving. We will never get beyond our grief, but with God's help, and the prayers of others who have experienced the pain of losing a child, we are able to make it through our special days. What a wonderful blessing to have your precious granddaughter to love, hug, and care for! I know it's still very painful, but I pray that God will continue to wrap His loving arms around you and provide you with the kind of peace that only He can provide. Peace and blessings... And give your precious granddaughter a (((((BIG HUG)))))from all the moms who post here! May it comfort you to know that your precious daughter is now guardian angel for both of you!

11/12/2002 13:42

Hi Verna, Sandy and all you wonderful Angels in this circle. I'm glad everything went fine with the Dr., take care of yourself for we all need you. Thank you for all the beautiful prayers and support. I will be going to my psycologist tomorrow and also I will be going to a reunion at The Miami Rescue Mission, for volunteers, I'm planning to spend Thanksgiving there, helping the homeless, I think it will be the best place for me to be that day, aksi tgus friday 15th it will be 3 months since God called my Solange, I miss her so very much and this pain just gets bigger everyday, I pray for Her, for me and for all you wonderful mothers in this circle.
Ckryson, welcome to the circle, keep coming back, you will find these Angels of support to be a great help. Selva

11/13/2002 04:47

dear love2u,
thank you for your prayer and yes i really enjoy working with the children. they just brighten up my days when i'm down. which has been alot lattley. michael has been on my mind almost 24/7 and it's been pretty rough but i know i'll be ok. i made myself come to this circle this morning and remember all the things every one has done to help me and i know it has helped. i read some back post and did it lift some heavey weight off my shoulders. i want to thank you all for all the help you had given me when i first came on. you are all in my thoughts and prayers love to all. luv debby

11/13/2002 04:57

dear father,
i ask for your prayers to help all the moms who are having some valley days and i ask you to lift their spirits to brighter days that they know and i ask that you walk with them with your arm on thier shoulder and guide them to the way of strenght and i ask your prayers to give them courage, i ask this in your name the father, amen

11/13/2002 12:10

Hello Verna, it's so nice to see you posting again, I know how busy you are, but we all miss your wonderful prayerful posts. A beautiful prayer for all, Verna, truly spoken from your heart, and we all appreciate it so much!
I'm going to check out the MADD site that you posted today, it's a wonderful organization, and your circumstances over Diane's passing will make you a wonderful addition to their fight and cause. I'm also happy to hear that you're going to try and sleep at night, :) and pay attention to your Dr.'s orders. Lots of love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/13/2002 12:22

Hi Selva, I think that's a great idea to volunteer at the Mission on Thanksgiving, it'll help some to take your mind off of your first Thanksgiving without Solange, and what a terrific way to give back, it's a beautiful way of honouring Solange's spirit! You'll be blessed by doing this, and it'll help to make a difficult day for yourself a little more bearable. I know how much you're hurting sweetie, I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a hug and let you cry, but I can't so I send my love and prayers to you, my Shane also passed away on the 15th, in the month of March, but every 15th of the month I commemorate it. It's something that you never forget, and these little things take on great importance for all of us. God bless you Selva, and my love and prayers are with you too,
Luv Sandy

11/13/2002 12:39

Hi Deb, it's so nice to see some posts from you! I know how much you love your job at school, and the children there are so lucky to have you! I'm sorry Deb to read that you're having a difficult time right now, with grief, sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. These valley days of your's will pass, so hang in there, and it's wonderful to read that you reading back posts helps you. God bless you sweetie, I know that Michael is on your mind 24/7, my Shane is always in my thoughts too. Together we can all help each other, by talking about how we're feeling, and giving our love and prayers to each other. I pray that today you have the peace of Our Lord in your heart and mind. Lots of love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/13/2002 12:49

Hello to all Moms
One of the members of this Circle, Cindy, (Cindys1021) wrote me and told me of a World-Wide Children's Memorial Day to take place on Dec. 8th. What is proposed to do is on that date, Dec. 8th, at 7pm we all light a candle and say a prayer for our loss, and those world wide where the loss of a child has occured. I think it's a wonderful way of honouring your own child, and remembering others, so I'm passing it along for your own interest. The more that take place in this, the more we'll all reap the benefits, so if you're interested, please do so on the 8th of Dec., at 7pm. Love to all!
Luv Sandy

11/13/2002 16:27

Hi Sandy. You can count on me for that day (and everyday) My Solange's birthday is the Dec 7 she was looking forward to become " 21 ", so I will be praying all day and I will keep on praying until the 8. Thanks for letting us know. Love and God Bless You. Selva

11/13/2002 20:45

To all the mothers and father who have lost a child, I also bear your pain,
As Shaner knows I write poetry, so here I am again, giving my heart away,

A Kiss of Peace
"Give me a reason", I asked,
and a voice returned, "I do",
"Give me a season to be",
and a voice returned, "for you",
"Give me a happy song please,
and add a little love"
and a voice returned, "I will",
and sent them from above,
"Give me a day to feel,
and touch a small, small child,
"For you", he said, my dear,
but only for awhile",
"Give me the power to see", I added,
I want to taste it all",
"So, I see, he said,
and he filled me up with walls,
"Walls", I asked, "what are they for",
"you shall see", and he closed the door,
So now I have the words, "I do, I will,
and "you shall see,
"But Lord", I asked again,
"what are these to be"

"Happy pain, and long sad sorrows,
summer songs, and days you borrow,
beautiful souls, and autumn winds,
friends and loved ones,
will take you in"

"Oh", I said, though quite surprised,
"but Lord, but Lord, will I survive"

"Through love and comfort,
from far away friends,
through days of courage,
my love won't end,
through lonely struggles,
I will be,
with this power, you will see,
you'll understand, you see, my child,
life is only, for awhile,

And with that he kissed
my heart and soul,
and branded me,
with an overflow,
Thats the day,
I said, "I do",
and he whispered back,
"I Love You, too!

Written by: Valerie Pearson (2002)

May God's divine peace hold all of you!

11/14/2002 00:22

Shaner and all my new friends that grieve the loss of their child. Although I know Lisa is in a better place, it is very hard. It is "high tide" and the waves are coming strong.
People say to me that I am strong. But sometimes when I hear my Nikita (granddaughter) cry for her mom, I am not. Bless all of you, I will hold you up in prayer. Last night we had a "birthday party" for Lisa. She would have been 29. Nikita sent balloons with a note tied to it. All our friends had cake that Niki made and watched our memorial video of Lisa growing up. I am glad I have the video to show Niki as she grows up. I want her to know that her mom loved her very much. Sometimes I feel alone in this struggle, but know that I am not. Lisa died within 15 minutes of her birth time, 25 years later. I thank God for every minute I had with her. Peace, joy and happines to you all. Cheryl

11/14/2002 08:59

Dear Lord Jesus, I come before Your throne today and ask You to lift the despair from each of our hearts. There is so much grief and pain here and new losses of children's lives. Please give each Mom Your peace that passes all understanding. For we don't understand why these things happen to us and why our children are taken from us at such young ages. Help us to put our trust in You for You know all things. Your word says in Isaiah 42:16 "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Thank You Father for Your Holy Word and Your promises to us that You will not forsake us in these dark times of grief. Help us to get to the point of acceptance of our loss of our children so that we may find Your peace in our hearts. You are Sovereign, You are Wise, You are Love. You are Holy. You are in control and You know what You are doing with our lives even when we don't understand. I thank You God for counting me worthy of suffering, for it is through the suffering that we learn what life is all about and our view of You is how we will respond in these difficult tragedies of our loss of our precious children. I choose to respond to You and Your love for me, I will never give up because You are there for me always and all the other moms here. I thank you for that Lord. I love you Jesus and I Bless Your Holy Name. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless each and eveyone one of you! I love you all!
Love, Yvonne<><

11/14/2002 09:40

Dear Sandy, How are you? I hope all is well with you. Thank you for your words of encouragement always to everyone. You are so sweet. God bless you!
~~~ I will remember on December 8th to light a candle near Joe's picture. That is such a good idea especially for the new moms here. I have had a candle sitting next to his picture ever since he passed away and I light it every once in awhile, mainly when the family is all together. It does help to honor your loved one in this way. Thanksgiving will be a day for me to light it again too. All of my family ( it will be the 1st time together with the newest members, Zoe & Ruthie) will be home and so we will remember Joe with the lighting of the candle. Thanksgiving is a very difficult time for us for Joe died 5 days before 3 years ago on the 20th and we buried him 2 days before. I always thought how hard it would be to lose a loved one at the holidays and then it happened to us. I tend to have my slump time at this time of the year. I got very depressed after Christmas last year. I'm trying to keep my chin up and trust in God for all the help I need as I said in my prayer above. We have our 2 little granddaughters now to bring light back into our lives and I am so grateful to the Lord for that. Aaron and Brianne will be home for Thanksgiving but not Christmas, so that will be different once again! One thing special that will be take place when Aaron is home is he will give his first sermon on Dec. 1st at our church. He's been at Life Pacific Bible College in San Dimas, Ca and will graduate next May. Right now he's studying homeletics and he really wanted to come back home and preach his first message here. So now that is becoming a reality for him. The church even wants to put his picture and a write up in the paper featuring him as a guest speaker! I'm so happy for him. He is doing well. This is one thing that came out of our tragedy, that Aaron would follow the Lord. He was on his way down the wrong path at the time of Joe's death and he did a complete turn around immediately following. He told us that we would not have to worry about him that he would follow the Lord for the rest of his life. And so the next fall he registered at Life. Aaron always new from the time he was in early high school that he was called to serve the Lord but he rebelled. I am always reminded that Joe's death wasn't in vain because it changed Aaron so much. So in some way it gives me a sense of peace, but it doesn't keep me from grieving or missing him.~~~
Sandy, I want to thank you for your ongoing prayers and I am always praying for you and everyone here. God Bless you Sandy for all you do. I know the holidays are hard for all of us no matter what time of year we lost our children. God knows our pain for He lost a son. I ask Jesus to keep you safe in His arms today and bring you much needed peace in your heart. Love you, Yvonne<><

11/14/2002 10:39

Hello Valerie, gosh, it's so nice to see you posting one of your wonderful poems again for us all, thank you so much! It's truly beautiful, and it really touched my heart. I know the other moms will definitely get something from it too. You're very talented, and we're the lucky recipients of your terrific work, which I found very comforting! I just love it, and thank you for giving us a piece of your heart, you're a wonderful person! Please post here whenever you feel like it, your poetry is so up-lifting. May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need, love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

11/14/2002 11:01

Hi Cheryl, it's so nice to see you posting again, I was hoping to hear from you again, to see how your day went for Lisa's birthday and her Anniversary. I know the 'tide is high and the waves are strong', even though we know that our children are in a better place, it doesn't stop the hurting or the missing of them, does it.
What a beautiful way to mark the day for Lisa and all of you, that's so sweet that Niki made a cake for her mom, and let some balloons go, I've done that myself, let balloons go, and it gives you a little joy and peace. You're so fortunate to have a video of Lisa for Niki, and for yourself and the rest of your family, and as you say, Niki will have this video of her mom for the rest of her life, knowing how much she was and still is loved by her wonderful mom. You're so fortunate to have each other, Niki growing up surrounded by your love, and in return her love for her wonderful grandmother! Gosh yes, it must break your heart when Niki cries for her mom, and you have to try to be strong for her, when sometimes you're hurting yourself. It's a rough road to travel, isn't it. I think we all have feelings of loneliness in our struggle, even though we're surrounded by family and good friends, but here at this Circle you're not alone, we've all lost a child/children, and we all understand! Only someone who has lost a child really understands what we're going through, that's one of the reasons I love all the moms who post here at this Circle, they're all wonderful, caring people, and now you're one of us! May God bless you Cheryl, and please post back whenever you feel like it. Love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

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